im a newby

[shelley1]

Hi everyone..i found this site last night, and just wanted to say what a friendly bunch you all sound, well i havent had a drink for four days today, andi`m just hoping that this elation and sense of freedom doesnt wear off, thats why ive decided to come on here for support for when i dont feel so strong.i WAS drinking two bottles of red wine every night, sometimes one, and half a bott of brandy,the other night i drank three botts of red wine, and i suppose you could say i had a "out of body experience" is the only was to describe it...i could see myself so clearly the mess i had become, i couldnt speak, i was arguing with my man (he doesnt drink) and i couldnt speak physically i was that drunk, and i could see in his eyes the helplessness.I am very lucky he has always been there for me, but i just realised that day that he had done enough for me over the years, and that if we carried on this way i would either firstly die, or we would disintegrate.I feel so positive and i dont plan on ever drinking again, mainly because i just cant have one or a sip and thats whats right for me, but i must say the thought of never drinking anything again terrifys me, and the stupid thing is im so well known for "enjoying a glass" that when the social situations come that me saying "no thanks" and it being a big deal are what worrys me most??? for some reason.As i say im four days today and i havent had a drink, the nights are the hardest cause thats when i drank, i gave up smoking three years ago and replaced it with drink,the nights are the hardest but i know with time it will easier,plus i have so much to gain, the sense of control even now and waking up feeling refreshed and clean with no guilt is what drives me on! thanks for listening ive never spoke to anyone about my drinking, but this is a new chapter in my life and i want to clear the decks...shelley

[dill]

im a newby

Shelley, Welcome! You have come to the right place for support and will find much in common with folks here. I can relate to being terrified at the thought of never drinking again. Just put that thought aside for now! Focus on ODAT. (one day at a time) I used to have the fear of going one day without drinking! But as time goes on, and you gather AF days, things change and start to get easier. Really.

[Lonely One]

im a newby

Welcome, Shelley! Like you, the evenings have been hardest for me, because I never drank during the day, it was just a solo evening habit. Coming here helped a lot at first, reading and posting; ODAT also helps massively - I don't think about "never drinking again" or saying "no thanks" when I'm at a family dinner party, I just think, literally, about today, and maybe the next couple of days. Four days AF is great! Feel free to join us on the "4 days AF" thread to clock up another few days, and check out the ODAT thread!

I've found people here to be so friendly and so supportive - stick around, read a lot, post, and chat - and stay strong!!

LO

[christyacc]

im a newby

Welcome Shelley!

Taking things one day at a time seems to be the easiest way to go at this point. I try not to dwell on tomorrow when I have to get through today. Some days you may even have to break it down further and say one hour at a time. During those times, know that you always have us, and we understand, care, and will support you.

Great job on Day 4! If you have any questions, any at all, don't hesitate to ask.

[shelley1]

im a newby

thanks everyone, just knowing there are people out there who understand and are not going to judge me made me upset and relived,and your all right just one day at a time is the way to go, theres no point in worrying about tomorrow! thanks everyone:l

[sunshine_gg]

im a newby

Welcome Shelley!

I found myself smiling and nodding when I read your post; I also thought that me saying 'No thank you' would provoke a slew of questions, raised eyebrows, etc... Newsflash... nobody cares! I made myself SO crazy... over nothing! We had planned a dinner/live music for Valentine's day (at a pub, no less) and I had been so worried - yet, not ONE person even questioned me not drinking.

I think this is truly a testament to where we are at and our relationship with AL. 'Normal' drinkers don't place that much importance on AL. And, if someone in their midst doesn't drink it really doesn't matter one bit. It hardly even registers.

I'm glad you found your way here and look forward to congratulating you on your way OUT :l

.

[lilmea]

im a newby

Welcome Shelley,

Ditto to everything everyone else has said. There is also a toolbox thread in the monthly abstenience section with a lot of good information on dealing with cravings, habits , feelings and social situations. You might want to check it out. It really helped me, especially in those "early" days of being AF.

[vlad]

im a newby

Welcome Shelley, and congrats on the 4 days!!!

[Joanna]

im a newby

Hi Shelley. Lots I can relate to in your post. Grit your teeth for a week or so and it will get easier I promise you. Don't be too hard on yourself when it feels tough. It is hard. Accept that and remember when you get a craving, that craving will pass.

[Mtntop]

im a newby

Hi Shelley. I am also new to MWY and 6 days AF so can really relate to your concerns. Try to focus on ODAT but also see that it can be a freeing experience. No more worries about what you said or did last night, all your actions and words come from a clear and sober place. Not always perfect, but always genuinely YOU. Use this community as a source of strength and support whenever you feel like you're wavering.

[gyco]

im a newby

welcom shelly,never say never,its a long time,well done on the 4 days,gyco

[shelley]

im a newby

hi shelly1!! cool name... :welcome:

[cacky]

im a newby

Welcome Shelly. Great job!!

[aprilmoon]

im a newby

:welcome: Shelly

You have found a wonderful website. Congrats on the 4 days AL!!!!:goodjob:

[Blue Sky]

im a newby

Hi Shelly
I've just been over to the General Discussion Forum and under the Social Stigma thread there are some great explanations to give to anyone who questions why we're not drinking. Sweatty Betty is a master of deception!

Anyway, it's our business not theirs!