Hi, I joined last summer, but stopped posting a few months ago. I have had spurts, mostly drinking, but some AF since joining. I usually can't take the withdrawls or I start to feel good and tell myself I can have a few drinks (when I know I shouldn't). It doesn't help that I am unemployed and have been for several months. Trying to find a job has been impossible and depressing. When I am not drinking I take my vitamins and supps, but when I drink I find it useless to waste them.
I'm eating fruits, veggies, shrimp, chicken and whole grain pasta, even if I'm not hungry, I make myself eat like every four hours or so.
In the last 3 days I've had a total of 12 hours sleep. But it was fitful, filled with weird dreams and very sweaty. The night sweats and the insomnia are what drive me crazy. I haven't been very shaky, but that never really bothers me.
I take L tryptophan and melatonin along with several cups of hot decaf tea infused with Valerian root, but it hasn't been very effective. I didn't sleep at all last night. I plan to stay awake all day today, go for a long walk (I have to apply to two more places today, 2 miles away from my apartment), do some stretching, clean my bathroom, and go to bed early. I don't have any money right now as I just paid some bills I was behind on, so no AL even if I wanted it.
Anyway, I have a delima this weekend. An old friend with benefits is coming into town and wants to have dinner and maybe a movie on Saturday. I have three things I am worried about. First, he probably is hoping to hook up and I would like to (sorry if thisis tmi, but it's been over a year since I've even been kissed), but I am afraid I will still be suffering insomnia and worst, those nasty night sweats. Second, because I am afraid of the sweating and being nervous to see him, I keep tossing around the idea of a couple of drinks at dinner to calm down and insure I don't sweat and can sleep (I know, badbadbad!) Third, he smokes pot on a regular basis. Before when we got together I would smoke with him, although I pretty much quit smoking pot in 2002 (I was a daily smoker). I have used it a handful of times since then. Anyway, he asked me if I still smoke it from time to time and I was honest and am now not sure what to say when offered. I honestly don't have a problem with marijuana and it was (and still is) really easy for me to just stop after one or two hits. Yet I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on my sobriety. It seems like apples and oranges.
Don't try to talk me out of going out to dinner, I haven't been out in ages. I am craving human contact with someone I know.
Ok, that's it.
I'm eating fruits, veggies, shrimp, chicken and whole grain pasta, even if I'm not hungry, I make myself eat like every four hours or so.
In the last 3 days I've had a total of 12 hours sleep. But it was fitful, filled with weird dreams and very sweaty. The night sweats and the insomnia are what drive me crazy. I haven't been very shaky, but that never really bothers me.
I take L tryptophan and melatonin along with several cups of hot decaf tea infused with Valerian root, but it hasn't been very effective. I didn't sleep at all last night. I plan to stay awake all day today, go for a long walk (I have to apply to two more places today, 2 miles away from my apartment), do some stretching, clean my bathroom, and go to bed early. I don't have any money right now as I just paid some bills I was behind on, so no AL even if I wanted it.
Anyway, I have a delima this weekend. An old friend with benefits is coming into town and wants to have dinner and maybe a movie on Saturday. I have three things I am worried about. First, he probably is hoping to hook up and I would like to (sorry if thisis tmi, but it's been over a year since I've even been kissed), but I am afraid I will still be suffering insomnia and worst, those nasty night sweats. Second, because I am afraid of the sweating and being nervous to see him, I keep tossing around the idea of a couple of drinks at dinner to calm down and insure I don't sweat and can sleep (I know, badbadbad!) Third, he smokes pot on a regular basis. Before when we got together I would smoke with him, although I pretty much quit smoking pot in 2002 (I was a daily smoker). I have used it a handful of times since then. Anyway, he asked me if I still smoke it from time to time and I was honest and am now not sure what to say when offered. I honestly don't have a problem with marijuana and it was (and still is) really easy for me to just stop after one or two hits. Yet I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on my sobriety. It seems like apples and oranges.
Don't try to talk me out of going out to dinner, I haven't been out in ages. I am craving human contact with someone I know.
Ok, that's it.
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