Lost another sibling to drugs and al last year, fell into the daily black hole and decided to pop my head out of my a$$ and get sober. Lasted all of 45 days. I'm angry I gave in, I'm more angry that I have to start back at 1. Remaining siblings, husband and kids encourage me everyday to get healthy again. They know it is a struggle and try hard to make things a bit more manageable. Stinks to have everyone you love cheering you on, dreading the phone call that you may have slipped, and ready to start back at day one. The stinking anti depressants increase thought of suicide and no doc with ethics will prescribe. (Dear brother took two kinds and died last year), Now what, I read everything and can honestly say, I'm not hopeless, I do stay free for 30-45 days at a time.
Found this group and thought maybe just maybe others white knuckle through the bad times, don't know how to manage the day to day goofy stuff and sometimes just want to forget.
Today, I once again, try to succeed, I do like when all the aches go away.
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