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Hi there,
Need some help from people who understand. Here goes:
My mom is an alcoholic - fine during the day, gets pretty nasty at night.
I suppose I learned that drinking daily was "normal" for her, though I didn't really start until I moved to Calgary, and met my ex. There, it was "normal" for everyone to drink every day. Started with beer.
Moved on to beer and red wine...at the same time. Not copious amounts, but enough.
Tolerance built up, but wasn't too bad until my only brother died at the age of 22 3 years ago. Then I lost it, had a terrible fiance (yup, same guy), didn't eat AT ALL for months and drank like a fish. I lost my mother and father during this time as well, as, understandably, they could not be there for me. Sooo...after a rather violent confrontation to the ex, I jumped in my 91 Chevy sprint with my cat and dog, and nary even a change of clothes.
I drove from Vancouver to New Brunswick, and lived there for a little over a year. Drinking increased...just red wine now. Red wine and I don't get along. Noticed I was drinking very quickly as I was used to drinking beer.
Up to about a litre a day. Decided to switch to white, then cut it with club soda to cut back a bit. Worked for awhile...
Well, now, still drinking every day. Like it, but I have done some stupid things that I don't remember. Generally I am a happy drunk, but can get a little sensitive and pissy sometimes.
Function fine at work, don't drink during the day, etc. But my current fiance almost never drinks, and had a previous relationship with a drinker that was quite bad. No conflicts really as, like I said, I am not a mean drunk...and don't usually get "wasted".
However, this Saturday I stayed up too late, drank too much and took a Xanax (I also have Panic Disorder...which I know is exasperated by alcohol). I guess I then called my fiances' friend at 1:30 in the morning...why, I have no idea, guess I was just up, high/drunk & stupid. Well...that was definately NOT okay - don't think I said anything bad, but it was clear I was wasted, and the friend said he never thought he'd seen me sober (not true, but close I guess). (There's a bit more history there, but I won't bore you with all of it)
So, I have to slow WAY DOWN. My baby wants me to only drink once a week. Okay...I'am okay with that. Here are the problems I am facing though:
1) The only plus...I am not physically addicted. No shakes, sweats etc. But problems sleeping. (Can I take sleeping pills to help with that? What do you think?)
2) BORED!! Drinking was a huge part of my life, and I enjoyed it!
3) Worried that I will not adjust to the new lifestyle.
Guess I wouldn't really call my a full blown alcoholic, more of a functioning one who DESIRES to drink but doesn't need to. I think I need to find some other things to fill my life...and find a way to sleep at night.
Any help, encouragement, etc. you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
PS - I am having ONE glass of wine tonight. Is that terrible? Going to go alcohol free tommorrow, but didn't want to totally go cold turkey. And yes, I am able to stop at one.
Please help me with this process, tell me your stories, give me pointers, etc.
Hi there,
Need some help from people who understand. Here goes:
My mom is an alcoholic - fine during the day, gets pretty nasty at night.
I suppose I learned that drinking daily was "normal" for her, though I didn't really start until I moved to Calgary, and met my ex. There, it was "normal" for everyone to drink every day. Started with beer.
Moved on to beer and red wine...at the same time. Not copious amounts, but enough.
Tolerance built up, but wasn't too bad until my only brother died at the age of 22 3 years ago. Then I lost it, had a terrible fiance (yup, same guy), didn't eat AT ALL for months and drank like a fish. I lost my mother and father during this time as well, as, understandably, they could not be there for me. Sooo...after a rather violent confrontation to the ex, I jumped in my 91 Chevy sprint with my cat and dog, and nary even a change of clothes.
I drove from Vancouver to New Brunswick, and lived there for a little over a year. Drinking increased...just red wine now. Red wine and I don't get along. Noticed I was drinking very quickly as I was used to drinking beer.
Up to about a litre a day. Decided to switch to white, then cut it with club soda to cut back a bit. Worked for awhile...
Well, now, still drinking every day. Like it, but I have done some stupid things that I don't remember. Generally I am a happy drunk, but can get a little sensitive and pissy sometimes.
Function fine at work, don't drink during the day, etc. But my current fiance almost never drinks, and had a previous relationship with a drinker that was quite bad. No conflicts really as, like I said, I am not a mean drunk...and don't usually get "wasted".
However, this Saturday I stayed up too late, drank too much and took a Xanax (I also have Panic Disorder...which I know is exasperated by alcohol). I guess I then called my fiances' friend at 1:30 in the morning...why, I have no idea, guess I was just up, high/drunk & stupid. Well...that was definately NOT okay - don't think I said anything bad, but it was clear I was wasted, and the friend said he never thought he'd seen me sober (not true, but close I guess). (There's a bit more history there, but I won't bore you with all of it)
So, I have to slow WAY DOWN. My baby wants me to only drink once a week. Okay...I'am okay with that. Here are the problems I am facing though:
1) The only plus...I am not physically addicted. No shakes, sweats etc. But problems sleeping. (Can I take sleeping pills to help with that? What do you think?)
2) BORED!! Drinking was a huge part of my life, and I enjoyed it!
3) Worried that I will not adjust to the new lifestyle.
Guess I wouldn't really call my a full blown alcoholic, more of a functioning one who DESIRES to drink but doesn't need to. I think I need to find some other things to fill my life...and find a way to sleep at night.
Any help, encouragement, etc. you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
PS - I am having ONE glass of wine tonight. Is that terrible? Going to go alcohol free tommorrow, but didn't want to totally go cold turkey. And yes, I am able to stop at one.
Please help me with this process, tell me your stories, give me pointers, etc.
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