:new:
I am not even sure if I am posting in the right area..I have read through so many of the forums on here and they are wonderful inspirations..so many people giving support, gives me a nice feeling just to connect! But so many choices! Anyway....
A very brief story..I am an alcoholic (saying that is not as hard as I thought, so I guess I recognise my problem!). I drink, on average, at least half bottle of Vodka a day..though sometimes it is more on weekends, up to a bottle a day on weekends and I hate myself for doing it.
It seems like during the week I can control my urge up until about 4pm, then I start...and that is weekdays...which affects my work obviously and increases guilt.
On weekends, by 12, I can't resist...I know I will not feel well at the end of the day, but that hasn't stopped me obviously! This has been going on for two years..I have a lot of other problems I need to address, my marriage, my job which I don't care for, my sense of self worth, etc...I am sure this is not new. But once I climb into the bottle I don't seem to be able to think about these things and so I do nothing. I am sure I can do something about the other things when I am happily sober..I am completely aware that alcohol is ruining the quality of my life.
I want to change, need to change and now I mean it..my behaviour, emotions etc are causing so many problems and I could be in danger of losing both job and marriage if I don't stop...SO I have decided I will (and I can be a stubborn fella as well!).
I have very slowly been cutting back a little over the past few weeks , and on good days I can now make a bottle of Vodka last the best part of three days (instead of two) if I drink slowly through the day.
But now I am ready to stop..and so I will be picking up the supplements tomorrow (Sunday), finishing the last drink Sunday and Monday WILL be AF..I so want this to happen and although I am afraid of withdrawal and everything else, I also want to be ME again (if you know what I mean). My family and my life deserves it.
So, I am going to start on Monday 6 as my first AF day..even cutting down has led to the sweats though luckily I take Dopareel to sleep (Zopiclone) - (I travel a lot, so it helps jet lag as well which is what I first got it for!) so this means I only wake up at 3am in a sweat half the time! Stilnox (zolpidem tartrate) works as well, but Dopareel is over the counter here. I will be trying the L-Glut as well as some of the other supplements recommended here.
It seems like over the past year, I have developed some skin problems (excema etc), which I assume is from alcohol? Also it seems, as I have been cutting down, I have had a lot of hot flashes, skin itching, rapid heartbeats and the usual anxiety...guess these are all withdrawal symptoms?
I am afraid of stopping, but I WANT to stop and must stop, nothing could be worse than how I am now (which is almost always with alcohol in my bloodstream)..so although I am afraid of it all, I am going to do my best to get back to being myself and enjoying life without 'help'.
Thank you in advance for all your support and I will check in every day as this moves forward for me just to listen to your advice and support..it will mean so much to me, really.
Thanks..and sorry for the long, rambling note! Thanks so much for your support. :thankyou:
I am not even sure if I am posting in the right area..I have read through so many of the forums on here and they are wonderful inspirations..so many people giving support, gives me a nice feeling just to connect! But so many choices! Anyway....
A very brief story..I am an alcoholic (saying that is not as hard as I thought, so I guess I recognise my problem!). I drink, on average, at least half bottle of Vodka a day..though sometimes it is more on weekends, up to a bottle a day on weekends and I hate myself for doing it.
It seems like during the week I can control my urge up until about 4pm, then I start...and that is weekdays...which affects my work obviously and increases guilt.
On weekends, by 12, I can't resist...I know I will not feel well at the end of the day, but that hasn't stopped me obviously! This has been going on for two years..I have a lot of other problems I need to address, my marriage, my job which I don't care for, my sense of self worth, etc...I am sure this is not new. But once I climb into the bottle I don't seem to be able to think about these things and so I do nothing. I am sure I can do something about the other things when I am happily sober..I am completely aware that alcohol is ruining the quality of my life.
I want to change, need to change and now I mean it..my behaviour, emotions etc are causing so many problems and I could be in danger of losing both job and marriage if I don't stop...SO I have decided I will (and I can be a stubborn fella as well!).
I have very slowly been cutting back a little over the past few weeks , and on good days I can now make a bottle of Vodka last the best part of three days (instead of two) if I drink slowly through the day.
But now I am ready to stop..and so I will be picking up the supplements tomorrow (Sunday), finishing the last drink Sunday and Monday WILL be AF..I so want this to happen and although I am afraid of withdrawal and everything else, I also want to be ME again (if you know what I mean). My family and my life deserves it.
So, I am going to start on Monday 6 as my first AF day..even cutting down has led to the sweats though luckily I take Dopareel to sleep (Zopiclone) - (I travel a lot, so it helps jet lag as well which is what I first got it for!) so this means I only wake up at 3am in a sweat half the time! Stilnox (zolpidem tartrate) works as well, but Dopareel is over the counter here. I will be trying the L-Glut as well as some of the other supplements recommended here.
It seems like over the past year, I have developed some skin problems (excema etc), which I assume is from alcohol? Also it seems, as I have been cutting down, I have had a lot of hot flashes, skin itching, rapid heartbeats and the usual anxiety...guess these are all withdrawal symptoms?
I am afraid of stopping, but I WANT to stop and must stop, nothing could be worse than how I am now (which is almost always with alcohol in my bloodstream)..so although I am afraid of it all, I am going to do my best to get back to being myself and enjoying life without 'help'.
Thank you in advance for all your support and I will check in every day as this moves forward for me just to listen to your advice and support..it will mean so much to me, really.
Thanks..and sorry for the long, rambling note! Thanks so much for your support. :thankyou:
Comment