Starting over AGAIN!!

[Kimmy]

Hi all

I have not been here for many many months - should have been but thought I was fine, but I am not - I have come to the realisation that I am what you would call a binge drinker I can be going great guns for a week as long as I do not have drinking company but once I have a friend to drink with all else goes out the door. It was my husband?s birthday on Friday and we were meant to go to dinner, I went for a quick lunch with a friend and had a few glasses of wine ? well that was the start after the lunch I had no intention of going back to the office because of the dinner but because they were having a pub night I found myself there have one after the next whisky ?Bells and soda? I left the office at about 7:30pm and got home after 8 ? because I had to much to drink my family had to have take away, my children were all dressed and my wonderful husband was ready to have a lovely evening celebrating his 41st. I let the most important people in my life down once again because I could not just get off my ass and leave ? the bottle was still full and I was not going to leave before it was empty. So this is it ? I have the flu and I am feeling very sorry for myself, but I have no right to feel sorry for myself it is my family that suffered ? all I suffered from was a hang over and to make things even worse I could not even remember why they were so angry with me.

I need help ? please I have read the posts on Topa? Just one question are the side effects as bad as they sound because right now nothing could be worse than what I am feeling.

[jessie]

Starting over AGAIN!!

Hi Kimmy,
Why don't you try Antabuse? A lot of us are having a lot of success with Antabuse. The saying is something like this - Antabuse teaches your body what your mind already knows - ALcohol makes me SICK and MISERABLE

[cacky]

Starting over AGAIN!!

Kimmy, that sounds like a excerpt out of one of my stories from months ago. There are many options to help you. The big thing is recognizing the problem which you have done. Keep talking here. You will get alot of love and support

[Arial]

Starting over AGAIN!!

Hi Kimmy,

Sounds like you're at the right place to really get serious about kicking this - it takes rock bottom some times to find the foot hold from which to push off - no where to go but up. I haven't experienced Topa so can't help you there, but along with the medication look at what else you can use - what tools can you use to put in place, to arm yourself. It is a battle and you have a strong opponant. Don't look at it as stopping drinking, but as reclaiming your life from something that has stolen it, and which is also threatening your family.

What you mentioned about you waking up with just a hangover but the hurt and anger that your children and husband have to suffer rings so true. I saw it from the other foot as my ex drank more than me and the number of times he would wake up with a sore head, but the upset that stayed with the girls is something that has never really gone away. That's what finally made me realise things were out of hand, when I let drink come before my children.

Anyway, you're in the right place - amongst friends who understand and who have been there - read the book, read the posts, look at what you can do once you're not drinking (ie are there any new hobbies to start, any thing to keep you busy with all this additional time you will have, excercise, etc?) - it's all about reclaiming your life, and from this point it is up to you as to how to reshape your future. You can pretty much guess where your life is headed on the path you have been on - where is it going to lead now? The wonderful thing about stopping drinking is you can change the future - it's yours for the living!

Great to see you here and look forward to seeing more of you.
:l

[polaryzed]

Starting over AGAIN!!

Hi Kimmy . . .

Try to stay close to this forum, you will receive a lot of Support and Inspiration.

Like the others have said there are many options and to add to what Arial said; Have you tried Journalizing? It helps as a reminder and puts things in perspective.

Hope to see you back here as much as possible.

Be well Kimmy and everyone!