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Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

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    #1

    Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

    Was drinking a pint of vodka a day before going AF for 5 days. Day 6, got a half pint, felt almost possessed as I went to get it, thought about stopping half way into it, finished it... Woke up this morning feeling crappy. At least this time it was a short recovery. I feel good now.

    But, guilty still. I was buzzin' like a bee while the wife, after months, got comfy with me and told me how proud she was about my progress. Shame on me... :upset:
    "With forward movement, you are bound to encounter turbulence." - I dono
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    #2
    Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

    Rejuvinator, get back on that wagon!
    It is just a small hump in the road to sobriety...
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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      #3
      Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

      agreed you have done the hard bit jump back on and start again dont give in

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        #4
        Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

        I have messed up so many times in the past. I know how you feel. Part of the reason I am AF for as many days as I am now is my husband. I don't want to disapoint him any more. I am doing it mostly for me so that I don't disapoint me!

        It is just a bump in the road as starting over has said. You can do it!!!!!
        RUM IS POISON AF since 09/28/09

        "The hangover last a lot longer than the buzz!!!" quote from FloridaBoy

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          #5
          Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

          felt almost possessed as I went to get it, thought about stopping half way into it, finished it...
          That could be me talking. I'd go round to the shop for my vodka knowing I didn't want to buy it then pour out the first one knowing that I didn't want to drink it, then as sure as night follows day.....
          It takes a huge effort to turn around and do something else, like go see my grandkids, even though I know I want to.

          Get back on and you'll be so happy the next time your wife says 'Well done'.

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            #6
            Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

            Yes, we ALL make slips along the way. Just try to learn from it, make a plan and get back on the wagon! Don't dwell or get down on yourself. No one ever said this is easy. It's not.

            You can do it!
            Dill

            Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

            If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

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              #7
              Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

              This wagon's not drivin fast but you've got a lot of help on board. Hop back on!

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                #8
                Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

                I know, too, what you mean about feeling "possessed". I blew it yesterday (Day 2). It was almost like I was outside my body as I bought pint...

                I think I have this defiance thing going on. Like "who SAYS I can't drink"??? (Me, you dummy!) I'm rebelling against... MYSELF?

                :egad:
                Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                  #9
                  Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

                  We all slip up from time to time. I definitely have! But today is a new day....just get back in there and make this an AF day....you will feel SO good about yourself tomorrow!
                  :danthin:
                  AF Since Sept. 20, 2010!!!

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                    #10
                    Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

                    Reality is harsh. It can be cruel and ugly. Yet no matter how much we grieve over our environment and circumstances nothing will change. What is important is not to be defeated, to forge ahead bravely. If we do this, a path will open before us..............
                    Keep trying Re. life is about ups and downs, Hang around lots of support here. IAD
                    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                    Dr. Seuss

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                      #11
                      Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

                      Well, today is day 2. And the goofy red spot in my eye has subsided. I feel like even having a little bit now will throw me for a spin. I guess it is a sign that my body is already getting back to normalcy where even a half-pint can be too much. Thanks for the support you guys.

                      I think I will have an important interview in the next week or so, so I want to be sharp minded, and seething with confidence. I can't be effing with this crap right now. Gotta stay of the poison while I'm ahead. This job could mean a major move for my career, I'd be a real loser to piss it away by seeming all withdrawn and in a general malais when I go to sell my potential to those folks.
                      "With forward movement, you are bound to encounter turbulence." - I dono

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                        #12
                        Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

                        Hey, Rejuv....
                        Good work, today. Yes, you are right that your career needs your attention. You can do this thing, and it will be wonderful to walk into that interview knowing that you are at the top of your game. Just remember, if they choose another candidate, it isn't because you aren't deserving. You deserve the best you can give yourself.... and it sounds like your wife deserves the best guy she can have, too. Congratulations on having someone who pats you on the back! Go give her a hug, and promise in your heart that you'll be that guy for her. It is the thought of my sweet husband that is getting me through today without a drink. Good luck!

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                          #13
                          Yup. I blew it. And I even saw it coming..

                          Hi Rej, have you thought there might be a link between the job interview and the drinking? I remember talking to a longtime drinking buddy of mine one night - we were asking ourselves just how successful and amazing we would have been if we never drank and what more in life we could have achieved.
                          And then I realised something - that I have consistently used al to sabotage MYSELF! I don't know why - maybe through fear of actually succeeding, or low self esteem or just the need to blot out an important impending event which is giving me stress.....so have a think about this tmrw when your back on the water and the gatorade!!!! (Hint Hint)
                          And remember maybe you are actually human and your current 'life stuff' is triggering your drinking. If you understand that and get to the bottom of 'why', then you've got a better shot at going day by day AF.
                          Hope this helps. Sending you good vibes. Ann.:teeter::disco::besafe:
                          Ann

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