Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

[OverIt2007]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

Great insight Spirit Girl. I agree 100 percent. Maybe we get "Soul" pain when our soul is out of alignment and need soul adjusting to get it right where it needs to be.

[mollyka]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

"friends"

My "bessie" mate doesnt want to know about me when I'm not drinking 'cos I'm boring but also doesn't want to know when I'm a drunken mess, I think I'm answering my own unasked question, I reckon you need new friends when stuff changes?

[capricorn2009]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

Well I'm back from my friend's birthday lunch, we didn't end up having it at the pub, but at their apartment and everyone was huddled onto the balcony drinking and smoking. I took a bottle of mineral water with me and poured a glass as soon as I arrived before anyone had the chance to hand me a glass of wine. I am VERY proud of myself, I am home at a reasonable hour (4pm) but was there long enough to be well and truly sociable.

The majority of the conversation today revolved around drinking and partying, who was hungover, and where they went last night, who mixed their drinks and how many beers/wines did they have, who got on the shots and what a rip-roaring night (and night before for some) they'd had. By the time I left they'd all had about a bottle of wine each and were no doubt ready to go and get more. Normally, sitting there listening to that would have made me feel as if I was just making a big fuss about nothing thinking "everyone drinks! - what am I worried about", but today was different.

After reading all the responses I've had here, I actually felt like someone really understood, and that I wasn't being silly. That I was the lucky one! I'd been up early with no hangover and out for a run at 8am, spent just $3 on a bottle of mineral water, enjoyed the walk home and am still feeling motivated enough to go to the gym. I feel strong! and I won't have a hangover or even be tired tomorrow so will be on top form at work.

Sweaty Betty: that's fantastic that you are running! especially if you live in Singapore! I lived there for 9 months about 2 years ago and that was when I stopped running, it was just too hot. It's only just since January that I've got back into it. When I first started I couldn't even run 500 metres without stopping, it took me a good 6 months to get up to 5km, maybe even longer! But now I am about to run my 3rd half marathon - 21.1km! The biggest tip I can give, is train first for distance, then for speed. It'll take you longer to get to the point where you can run 5km (or whatever distance you're aiming for) if you're running too fast. I'm looking forward to hearing how you go!

Mollyka: I have a friend in NZ who comes to visit me sometimes... we've known each other since school. She is a major party animal and I love her to bits, but when she was last over here and I was trying to abstain, she criticised me for being boring and even said in front of everyone that I was being rude. In the end I gave in and got so plastered partying 'til 6am that it took me 2 days to recover. She is still my friend but I will definitely not be letting her stay with me again!


So today is day 2 for me - yay! I will be ok during the week as my only plan is to go to the gym and run as much as possible. Next Saturday night I have another birthday of a very close friend... they are going clubbing! That will be tough, but after today I think I can do it. Also the nightclub we're going to is only about 300 metres from my front door, so I can sneak home very easily if it gets too hard.

[capricorn2009]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

Oh dear... I didn't even say after all that - THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I know it's only day 2, but this has really helped me today. I will be sure to log in regularly, like I said - just knowing there is SOMEONE who understands and doesn't think I'm being silly, made all the difference today, so I think it will be just the thing to get me through the days to come.

[ezzmae]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

hi and welcome capricorn. You sound like you are in a strong place at the moment. I am also in my 30s in australia, drink too much at the weekend and spend the rest of the week working out in the gym. I really envy you the ability to run long distance, it has always eluded me. My legs just want to go fast. The most I can do is a 5km in 17 minutes.

[Blue Sky]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

Hi Cap

Way to go girl!

You are in charge of your life! Living it how you want to, not being pressured into living it to suit your buddies!

In today's climate it's best to be 100% at work! No one knows when cuts are going to be made and we don't give our best hungover...mistakes get made and things get forgotton. Collegues may notice.
At 38, the same as me, you are growing out of the party every night lifestyle. It was good in our 20's but it's a broken record as we approach 40.

Life life to the full!

[bear73]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

wow - capricorn we could be the same person. i recently did 3 weeks af - am starting to run - just done a 5k slowly - with walking breaks but joining a running club and plan to run one in entirety in July. I do the beating myself up too - incredibly well!!!

i have just had hypnosis to stop smoking - like you it's only when i drink - i drank last sat - at a gig we were organising and smoked - i didn't enjoy it more, but worry about being out of step with my friends/not fitting in (who are mostly into the binge drinking at weekends/no other social option stuff)

yesterday i went for a long lunch at a friend's house - 12 people - mostly very drunk - I didn't drink!
I'm finding that i am now getting back into gym/running - am much happier af (and therefore cig free) i feel scared that i will feel pressure to drink with others(work leaving do coming up, mum staying next week, she's a big drinker) it annoys me as i really want to be af - feel so much better. i need to really find af hobbies - mostly been watching dvds - which is fun but maybe need to go to theatre/comedy.

it's hard to deal with the pressure (which actually is moslty in my own head, no one really noticed yesterday but i feel so much better af) there's a fear of being left out - yet part of me really wants to be my own person. we can do it - sorry this is so rambly but good to find someone in a similar boat.

[last10years]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

Cap - Well done! Keep up the great work! I made it through Easter weekend myself (well..still have the rest of today to go)....it's a 4 day holiday in RSA. I'm on Day 4 and I feel really good. I'm eating like a pig but lost a few pounds already?!?!? Keep posting and let us know of your progress! LT

[capricorn2009]

Confused! Do I have a problem or am I just being too hard on myself?

Blue Sky: oh I know what you mean... Friday week ago after drinking 'til 1am I was still a bit drunk when I got to work and VERY worried that they might be able to tell. I hid it ok (I think?) but really struggled through the day and explained it away by saying I didn't sleep well the night before, but you can't do that too much or they notice for sure! I ate a whole tin of eclipse mints as well, being paranoid about the alcohol breath.

Bear73: Great stuff re running! You'll be hooked in no time... and it's a great thing to be addicted to - there is no high better than the one you feel when you've just finished a good run! I still love going to the restaurants and parties etc.. I just need to learn how to relax and enjoy them without being drunk. Usually the measure of a great night for me is how much I really let my hair down and dance, but I don't feel confident enough to dance when I'm sober. So I'm considering going to dance classes so I can learn some PROPER dance moves to give me the confidence heheheh. Silly maybe? but it would be a fun and alcohol free thing to do at the very least

Last10years: That's excellent news - 4 days! and on a long weekend too when there are so many people making the most of not having to get up for work. If you got through this far then you'll get through the rest of today

Thanks again guys - we can all end the weekend on a very positive note, ready for an AF week! yay!!