Hidden anger

[Boss.man]

I don't think I was very much an angry drunk. At least not since my 20s years which was a long time ago (Carter was President then...)

But in going AF or Mod in my case, I seem to have grown a problem with anger building up. Nothing huge or life threatening. It's just that as an employer my disappointment with the actions of certain employees seems to exceed their actual infraction. It's like my mind can't get off the issue, even when I say to myself, "in the grand scheme, this issue is nothing!" .

Has anyone overcome this problem?

[Doggygirl]

Hidden anger

Hi Boss Man. I have to really work at my "thinking" game. Now that I am sober, I'm realizing exactly how self centered I am. That can leave me very agitated when things don't work out the way *I* want / plan / expect them too. This is the very same self centered thinking that kept me in plenty of reasons (excuses) to drink. I am working at just keeping a more balanced perspective of where I really fit in the world around me, which is NOT at the center of the universe LOL! I have to catch myself and take a step back frequently.

**or**

Depending on how early you are in sobriety, it could just be the edginess that seems to come with early withdrawl / denying yourself the addictive substance. IIRC I was edgy just in general for probably around 75 - 100 days. Somewhere in that range is where the Early Edgies seemed to let up.

I envy those who have achieved a sense of peace in sobriety AND are able to maintain that sense most of the time. I still have a lot of work to do in order to find that place.

I wasn't an angry drunk either so long as I got my way. And getting my way usually meant drinking so that worked out pretty well as far as me not being overly angry in those days.

Best wishes.

DG

[boozehag]

Hidden anger

TRUE CALM!
BH

[rubywillow]

Hidden anger

Boss, I'm so glad you posted this, not for me but Hubs. We've been together so long, I know he has some issues I've gotten used to, but his anger issues are seriously endangering our relationship now. I'm just really tired of it, and telling him about it, and having him disregard or not believe me until I'm ready to walk out. I'm a loving, easy-going, nature loving, earth mother type, and he's in charge of hundreds of employees and extremely sensitive responsibilities that are crucial in a public utility. I try to understand the disparity in our personalities, but maybe you've hit on something I haven't thought of.

[aliame]

Hidden anger

Doggygirl
I just love the quote you have after your post. It really brought me up short. When I go AF I know I can always drink again, and assume I can always stop again. Maybe I can't. I need to take this on board. Thank you. Not meaning to hijack thread.

[aprilmoon]

Hidden anger

Anger issues at work......so much I could say. LOL

I am retired now and so glad of it. When I was working I made less than most of the others I worked with. There were a few who continued to get raises and continued to be L-A-Z-Y at work. It ticked me off so bad. Paxil became my friend. LOL After being on it for a while, I could see that their work was not effecting mine and I was taught to give an honest days work. So I was able to do my job without wanting to rip their heads off.....most days.

Best wishes to you.

[Boss.man]

Hidden anger

Hey all! I think I found a solution, and something for others to try. Bh above suggests Truecalm and I've tried that. I like Valerian for relaxation, 3 pills a day, but it makes me spacey and the effect of just one pill lasts 24 hours for me, which impairs my work time.

I found a Diet book that recommended L-Theanine for mood and anxiety. This is an amino acid associated with calming the brain and maybe supplementing GABA and Dopamine. The pill I found is 200mg with 76mg of Calcium which is apparently is needed. What you are supposed to get is a 6 hour mood lift per pill. Supposedly 3 pills a day, although there is no "max dose". Some web sites recommend L-Theanine at bedtime for better sleep and one person even noted their dreams were better when using it.

Theanine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Reviews:

L-Theanine (Theanine) - User ratings & reviews - Revolution Health

I started this pill on Monday, and it seems to have lifted my anger moods. Now I get moments where I feel much more capable and "good" which for me has been a rare feeling in recent years. It has not impaired my focus or memory, and that I like a lot.

I thought I'd share. If anyone else tries this, please post whether you think it works or not.

[kriger]

Hidden anger

Hi Boss,
It sounds like you are doing quite well....I'm going to read up on that Theanine for my husb. He gets so angry about things he can not control when he drinks. I wish I could make him realize that his warped perspective is due to his alcohol intake. He doesn't ever get angry at me so for that I am grateful. I'll be clicking on those links you gave....thanks boss.man and best to you on your journey going forward!
Krigs

[changemylife]

Hidden anger

I find that now I care enough to get mad when they are not doing the right job. Before, I just waited to after work and drank it all away.

I must admit that all work and no Nic/Al makes change an angry boy.

[DeeBee]

Hidden anger

Thanks for the info Boss, I'm definetly going to look into it further. I also recently gave up smoking and for a good solid 4 weeks was a b*tch from hell to my family. I become angry for no rhyme or reason -- always towards my family -- never at work. I tried the 5-HTP and GABA but can't really say that I noticed a huge difference.

Meditating was working for me, so I must get back into the habit again.

[savon19]

Hidden anger

Good info, Boss. (Did you notice that in the wiki article, it's effective when combined with coffee?)

One thing that's occurred to me is that FEELINGS (in general) are difficult to deal with sober. I think it's because I've "trained" myself over years that if I felt a strong emotion, that was my cue to drink. So I've got to "re-learn" (maybe I've never known?) how to experience the emotions sans AL. It's unknown territory!

Anger is probably my worst one. Not that I experience it often, but when I do, I don't know what to do with it! I know I've read most sober people will do things like take a walk, exercise... That may help.

[gyco]

Hidden anger

hi boss,im not in charge of anyone but me,i guess im fortunate in that way,i do not envy anyone in charge,i find one of the alternatives for most humans is to take something,i beleive the body has its own mechanics for coping,i think doggy said it earlier,in early sobriety anything can put us at wits end,im probably wrong in this but rather then jumping to conclusion take a step backwards 1st, and think about what you want to say,or how you want to react,i wish you well boss gyco

[DeeBee]

Hidden anger

BUMP for J-vo
:bump: