Hi,
Well I've been looking at this site for at least a month now trying to get the guts to do something. I had a moment of clarity when I realised I had a problem. I bailed on a friend's bbq because I was having follow up/kick the hangover drinks by myself when I woke up on the Saturday. Couldn't drive cos I was too drunk so told my flatmates I was feeling really sick and coming down with something. Turned out my friend got married at that bbq and was throwing a surprise wedding and wanted to spend it with her family and friends. I felt like the worst person in the world and woke up on the Sunday in search of something that could help me. Found this website and joined up but put off getting too involved - that would mean confessing I have a drinking problem that is no longer controllable by me. Since I joined a month or so ago I have had about 3 or 4 alcohol free days a week. Come the weekend though, I am pretty much drunk from Friday night to Sunday night. Not necessarily with the company of a drinking buddy. Often just in my room alone. I'm not happy about the damage I'm doing to my body. I love the sensation of being tipsy/drunk but I know it's killing me. I also realise there's a healthier kind of happiness out there for me - I just really need help to find it. I'm single, and often lonely. All my friends are married with kids and the ones that aren't (who also happen to be my closest friends) are either overseas or a few hours away. I am a happy person that generally enjoys my life and what I make of it - I just know I need to stop drinking before it really, really gets out of control. I feel like I'm on the edge of that cliff already. In fact maybe I'm half way down, just trying to claw my way back to the top while I still can...
I am scared but I do want to change. I just don't know if I have the confidence, self discipline or the self esteem to go out into the big, bad world without alcohol. I don't think I'm really a textbook alcoholic yet, but am getting pretty close. Does anyone else ever feel this way??
Well I've been looking at this site for at least a month now trying to get the guts to do something. I had a moment of clarity when I realised I had a problem. I bailed on a friend's bbq because I was having follow up/kick the hangover drinks by myself when I woke up on the Saturday. Couldn't drive cos I was too drunk so told my flatmates I was feeling really sick and coming down with something. Turned out my friend got married at that bbq and was throwing a surprise wedding and wanted to spend it with her family and friends. I felt like the worst person in the world and woke up on the Sunday in search of something that could help me. Found this website and joined up but put off getting too involved - that would mean confessing I have a drinking problem that is no longer controllable by me. Since I joined a month or so ago I have had about 3 or 4 alcohol free days a week. Come the weekend though, I am pretty much drunk from Friday night to Sunday night. Not necessarily with the company of a drinking buddy. Often just in my room alone. I'm not happy about the damage I'm doing to my body. I love the sensation of being tipsy/drunk but I know it's killing me. I also realise there's a healthier kind of happiness out there for me - I just really need help to find it. I'm single, and often lonely. All my friends are married with kids and the ones that aren't (who also happen to be my closest friends) are either overseas or a few hours away. I am a happy person that generally enjoys my life and what I make of it - I just know I need to stop drinking before it really, really gets out of control. I feel like I'm on the edge of that cliff already. In fact maybe I'm half way down, just trying to claw my way back to the top while I still can...
I am scared but I do want to change. I just don't know if I have the confidence, self discipline or the self esteem to go out into the big, bad world without alcohol. I don't think I'm really a textbook alcoholic yet, but am getting pretty close. Does anyone else ever feel this way??