Day 5 AF Under Control
Winefree,
I have to tell you I know exactly what you're going thru right now. I've just been thru the same thing!!
My husband of 35 years just returned home after a 2 month absence. He walked out on me, blaming me for his unhappiness. I don't blame myself, really, because he's always been an unhappy person. He was diagnosed many years ago with chronic, severe depression. After 18 months of therapy and medication he gave up - prefers to exist in his own dark little world. Needless to say he's been very hard to live with. Over the years, I tried every healthy coping method to deal with him and when they no longer worked, I fell into the wine bottle. I'm not actually blaming him for my bad habit but my inability to cope with his chronic depression.
I felt I hit bottom and was disgusted with myself during the Holidays. So, in January I began my search for a way out of my mess when I ran across MWO. While I was reducing my wine intake and formulating my personal plan - he just upped and walked out on me without a word or a thought. I was crushed and very hurt because I never considered leaving him despite all the hell he had put us thru over the years.
It turned out to be a true blessing!! During his absence I was finally able to get a grip, clear my head and move forward without battling his constant negativity. I read many books, worked on a behavior mod. program, etc. It took a while but I finally was able to commit myself to going completely AF. It is 3 weeks now and I feel great!
Unfortunately, while I did all this work to improve myself, my husband remained in denial and resistant to lift a finger to improve his personal situation. He's happy that I am no longer drinking but he's still the same dark, unhappy person he's always been. He's not a bad person, despite his chronic dark mood, he's been a good husband and father, I'll love him to death. I'm truly hoping and praying that my new found sense of increased confidence and self-esteem will be enough to see us thru. I will never let him or anything or anyone else send me back to the wine bottle again.
My point to you is - there is hope, never give up. You really cannot 'fix' the past. Put the past away and move forward. Turn your back on all the negativity and surround yourself with with positive, happy thoughts, feelings and people. Imagine the person you can be, the person you want to be. It's very doable and totally worth the effort.
Best wishes for a happier, healthier future.
Lavande
Winefree,
I have to tell you I know exactly what you're going thru right now. I've just been thru the same thing!!
My husband of 35 years just returned home after a 2 month absence. He walked out on me, blaming me for his unhappiness. I don't blame myself, really, because he's always been an unhappy person. He was diagnosed many years ago with chronic, severe depression. After 18 months of therapy and medication he gave up - prefers to exist in his own dark little world. Needless to say he's been very hard to live with. Over the years, I tried every healthy coping method to deal with him and when they no longer worked, I fell into the wine bottle. I'm not actually blaming him for my bad habit but my inability to cope with his chronic depression.
I felt I hit bottom and was disgusted with myself during the Holidays. So, in January I began my search for a way out of my mess when I ran across MWO. While I was reducing my wine intake and formulating my personal plan - he just upped and walked out on me without a word or a thought. I was crushed and very hurt because I never considered leaving him despite all the hell he had put us thru over the years.
It turned out to be a true blessing!! During his absence I was finally able to get a grip, clear my head and move forward without battling his constant negativity. I read many books, worked on a behavior mod. program, etc. It took a while but I finally was able to commit myself to going completely AF. It is 3 weeks now and I feel great!
Unfortunately, while I did all this work to improve myself, my husband remained in denial and resistant to lift a finger to improve his personal situation. He's happy that I am no longer drinking but he's still the same dark, unhappy person he's always been. He's not a bad person, despite his chronic dark mood, he's been a good husband and father, I'll love him to death. I'm truly hoping and praying that my new found sense of increased confidence and self-esteem will be enough to see us thru. I will never let him or anything or anyone else send me back to the wine bottle again.
My point to you is - there is hope, never give up. You really cannot 'fix' the past. Put the past away and move forward. Turn your back on all the negativity and surround yourself with with positive, happy thoughts, feelings and people. Imagine the person you can be, the person you want to be. It's very doable and totally worth the effort.
Best wishes for a happier, healthier future.
Lavande
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