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I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

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    I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

    O.k..... so I had 4 AF days last week. WOW! It felt GREAT! I wanted to see how many days in a row I could be AF. On Sunday, I "caved" after a long drive home in holiday traffic and wanted to have a few drinks before returning back to the "real world" the following day. (I had off from work the week before Easter.) I had 3 glasses of wine. I enjoyed them, decided not to beat myself up over it. After all, I have not decided whether to abstain or moderate yet, just upped the topa to 75 mg. and still waiting for the All One powder to arrive. I didn't think I was going to drink on Monday, but ended up drinking 1 1/2 glasses of wine. Didn't think I was going to drink Tuesday, but had one beer (didn't taste too great) and finished up the rest of the wine which equalled about 2 glasses.

    I spoke with my doctor and I have a script called in to up the topa to 50 mg. twice a day. Will pick that up tomorrow. I am also taking 1000 mg. of L-glutamine 2x per day, milk thistle, evening primrose oil, and will be adding the All One powder as soon as it arrives.

    I hate craving alcohol in times of stress and over the next month or so, my life will be pretty stressful. My job in itself isn't stressful, but managing my job, family, and time is. I have difficulty balancing my time and often feel guilty about neglecting one thing or another. (So therefor, I tend to neglect it all and hit the bottle instead....... so productive, I know.) I need to find time to exercise. I feel like that is the missing piece for me right now. While I am unsure if I will moderate or abstain, I would like to get through 30 days AF to make a clear decision as to what might be best for me. I plan to reread MWO once I get through this week..... I have many things due at work between now and Monday. I am surprised I am even making the time to post, but I just felt the need to reconnect with everyone. Haven't made contact with anyone since Saturday and I feel a little lost! I was doing so well for awhile and now I feel 10 steps behind again. Thanks for reading!

    #2
    I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

    you keep on trying.. sounds like you are cutting back in one way or the other .. and you said you need to find time to do more thing well instead of drinking there you go...you will have all the time you need stay strong and keep thinking positive
    :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
    best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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      #3
      I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

      I have definitely cut back..... no longer drinking 2 plus martinis every night and/or a bottle of wine. I just wish the craving and thoughts about it would go away. Like when I am driving home from work, or talking to certain friends on the phone, or making plans for the weekend, or thinking about a wedding I have to go to in June......

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        #4
        I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

        I think getting past day 4 was the hardest for me. Well, Day 4 thru about 10.

        I don't crave the AL much at all anymore. I do crave the crazy way I felt after about the 10th drink. LOL So I have decided not to have drink number 1.

        My stinking thinking thinks when I'm in certain situations that it would be so much more fun to be drinking during it. I don't keep Rum in my house just for those occassions.

        Best of luck during your journey.
        RUM IS POISON AF since 09/28/09

        "The hangover last a lot longer than the buzz!!!" quote from FloridaBoy

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          #5
          I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

          Hi there FinallyMadeIt -

          Your post/thread triggered big with me as I feel that same scattered life of being pulled in too many directions. I just came back here this week kicking and screaming in my first posts that I can't manage my al problem because I don't have time to be online all the time. Nutso! ..I haven't been able to string 2 nites together AF....I get home from work and if I haven't started on the wine the minute I get in the door, its a few glasses to keep me happy while I cook dinner, or when I hear the "Nightly News" jingle that is my cue that its time for wine.

          So, I took myself away to my quiet room 2 nites ago and started reading the book again. I think I was trying to change in a half-asrsed way....so now its re-purposing. Last nite I made dinner without wine, and later escaped to my room to read posts and more of the book - then a nice bath. I even had thoughts about what other things I might do at nite...go upstairs and do a little yoga, start a knitting project, actually clean up the kitchen BEFORE bed, do a little laundry - all the things that scatter me and stress me out because they seem like too much. I whine that I don't have the time, but I think I have more than I will admit - I just have to use it, instead of it using me.

          I have recalled the scene in "Coal Miner's Daughter" where she says, "Doo says you gotta run your own life, girl, but my life's running me." That has been my mantra, and what I thought was my reason to 'wine down'. Well, just maybe the 'overwhelmed' gets worse when I escape with every night wine - an excuse to waste the hours.

          I rambled, but all this to say, I hear what you are saying about TIME - but I think I will find more of it when I lose the wine. Good luck to you - today will be DAY2 for me and i plan to make it, in fact I plan to go for a bike ride after work - that will send me into a better direction!

          HG

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            #6
            I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

            Thanks for the replies so far...... would love to hear some more encouraging words..... I am on drink 4 right now. Still have to pick up my new topa script. Tonight is the first night I am pissed off at myself. I have poured my 4th 4oz glass of wine. So much stress in my life right now.
            Ugh!!!!!! What a viscious cycle.... I was so proud of myself last week after going 4 days AF..... what happened?????

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              #7
              I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

              Hi Finally! I sent u PM. Typing from my phone now so its short. We will start tomorrow again. OK? Xoxo mama

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                #8
                I Need Some Encouragement, PLEASE!!!!

                Thanks Mama! I'll write tomorrow when I'm not so tired! xxoo

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