Thinking about going to AA......

[JAMMS]

I think that my biggest concern is that I will know people there...they will KNOW that I have a problem....it would make this whole thing even more realistic....

What if someone sees me...I know that it's all supposed to be secret...but I know of people who go...there are meeting across the street from my house every week....I won't go to the one in my church because my kids go to the school...I know everyone, they know my kids......

Can someone who goes to AA please tell me what I could expect at a meeting?

[tlrgs]

Thinking about going to AA......

friendship and lot of support... dont worry about what everyone will think or say hell this for you..
be proud of what you are doing for yourself and walk with your head high and smile..stay strong and keep thinking positive

[cymru]

Thinking about going to AA......

Hey Jamms.
I have been attending AA since feb of this year, and it has made a huge difference in my life. I was initialy worried about going, as I have always worked in the public eye, and was worried about people I have worked with seeing me, and spoiling my reputation.(not that I had much of one left!) I have been to meetings all over, and only met 1 person who i knew, and we have become friends through the fellowship, and have alot in common with regards to our alcoholism. Anyone who is going to a meeting is going for the same reason you are. They are an alcoholic. If they know you, and you go to a meeting, they prob knew you had a problem with booze, cause they have too. Whether your drinking is out in the open or hidden indoors.
At the end of the day, what have we got to lose? If it works and you enjoy it, and can get some one on one friendship, then great. If you feel its not for you, no one will keep on at you to go back. It is your choice alone to come or go to the meetings and seek support.
Feel free to pm me at any time to ask anything about AA and/or the programme.

[peacenik]

Thinking about going to AA......

jamms, there is an aa thread in monthly abstainers that you might wish to check out...

[Winefree]

Thinking about going to AA......

JAMMS, I too have been avoiding AA for those same reasons. My counselor today suggested AA for the support. I did some reading on-line and members are kept to confidentiality.
Finally got up the nerve to go tonight, only to enter the facility were a business mtg was being held! I was given the wrong day?
Well if I can get through that, I should be able to make another "real" meeting.
If I could get up the nerve, YOU CAN TOO.

[irish eyes]

Thinking about going to AA......

[QUOTE=JAMMS;593530]I think that my biggest concern is that I will know people there...they will KNOW that I have a problem....it would make this whole thing even more realistic....

Hi Jamms
The people who go to AA have the same problem as you so nothing to worry about there. Why not go to a meeting outside of your area until you become more accustomed to it. Good Luck with your decision.
:l

[Winefree]

Thinking about going to AA......

JAMMS, I went to an AA meeting tonight. Must have been 40 people there and guess what...I didn't know anyone. Mostly men, and about 5 women. Lasted an hour. I didn't speak, just listened and observed. After the meeting 2 ladies spoke with me to tell me I was in the right place. Gave me some pointers on attending other meetings locally and they both gave me their phone numbers in case I wanted to call them if the going got rough.
It was overall a friendly atmosphere. I felt comfortable enough to attend again.

WF

[brittzak]

Thinking about going to AA......

If they are there..they are walking in your shoes honey. It is not about gossiping who is worse off etc...

[Popeye]

Thinking about going to AA......

I go to AA sometimes and I've met a few people that I know vaguely. It was no big deal. We just nodded and said 'Hi'. We're all there for the same reason, just like we're all here for the same reason. There's a notice on the wall which reads "Who you see at AA, what you hear at AA, stays at AA'. Where I am there are meeting every day of the week in lots of different places so I can go where nobody knows me, but for me part of admitting my problem is being up-front about it; not everyones choice I know, but I'm not too bothered who knows that I'm trying to get better. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have this problem and I have little regard for the opinions of gossips and self-promoters.
There are people there from all walks of life. We've a bank manager, small buisnessmen, a nurse, all the way down to unemployed drunks like me. There's no judging and no pressure to say anything. You can stand up and talk if you like or you can stay silent. Give it a try and if you like it, go back and if you don't don't.

[JAMMS]

Thinking about going to AA......

Thank for the advice...I'm going to go Sunday night. I know there is a meeting across the street from me in one of the buildings....

Wine-that is funny that you went the wrong night....but it must have been a good icebreaker for you
NOw I have a new question...should I let my Hubby know that I am going to go? Any thoughts on that? It's kind of a bad time for us...

[ronnie]

Thinking about going to AA......

Hi Jamms, Well done on going to a meeting this Sunday, my mum has been going to meetings for over 20 years now and she loves it because of all the support that they gave her, she is still going so that she can give other people her support, plus she has met so many new friends there. If it is a bad time with Hubby because of your drinking then if I were you I would let him know where you are going, then he can see that you are trying to do something about the problem and then things might get better for the two of you, but really the choice is up to you, wish you all the luck xxx

[Popeye]

Thinking about going to AA......

I'd let him know. It's not as if you're doing a bad thing is it? Some peolpe think it's shameful to be 'caught' going to an AA meeting and while I can understand that, it's only because of the way that society looks at us; as if it's a lifestyle we chose. When I started drinking I did it for the same reason as most other people. To have a laugh with my friends and go out and enjoy myself. I did for a year or two, then it just took over. By the time I realised I was an alcoholic it had it's claws well and truly sunk into me. It's a shame that it's looked upon as a weakness and a character flaw and that by trying to do something positive about it we're sometimes derided and seen as defectives. If more people had the courage to face their own drinking problems, I'm sure the AA meetings would be full to bursting. Everyone needs help at some points during their adulthood in one way or another and it's not a weakness to ask for it. Indeed, I think it takes strength and courage.

[savon19]

Thinking about going to AA......

Jamms - Since I don't know much about AA (and others have given you much good advice)... I'll just comment about your husband.

One option may be to go to one meeting first. Then tell him when you get home IF you plan on continuing going... Because if you go and then decide it's not for you, he may say "you're giving up!!" Or something like that.. I don't know your husband nor your relationship, of course.

Or just be honest from the get-go. And say you are going to find out if it's the right way for you to deal with your problem - but it may Not be.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that you don't want to make a commitment to him that you'll go on regular basis until you know that you will! Or... you could be hearing about it!!

Good luck in any case. I know it's not for me, but I also know it's been a godsend to many...

[JAMMS]

Thinking about going to AA......

Savon- I think you're right. I'm not sayin anything.

I went to meeting on Sunday...saw too many familar faces...I'm going to look into other meeting sights before I make any decisions. To be honest I was so consumed with looking at everyone...I didn't hear a word anyone said and didn't stay for the entire thing....baby steps......

[cacky]

Thinking about going to AA......

Jamms, i am actually meeting hopping with a group of people. we have a blast. think about what you want for all the other people in the program. thats all that people want for you.