AF April 28

[dill]

Hi, everybody! As I type this, the sky is just turning pink behind gathering grey clouds. The birds are in full song. It is quiet inside the house, and inside my head. I feel so content to have another morning feeling clear headed and well rested. Why did I not see this as the gift it is before now? You know, maybe the battle with alc has at least this silver lining: it lets you appreciate this and other 'small things' that most 'normal' people likely take for granted.

SD, from the end of yesterday's post: You made complete sense to me. I think it is odd about your Mom and the wine, but, It's probably that she just doesn't get it yet. Denial? Also, when you are on the outside, looking in, you don't realize the struggle and effort one might be putting into such a 'simple' thing as not drinking. :H

Hi, SBetty! Yes, it's been an AF April here. Good to see you!

Have a good Tuesday, everybody!

[Lavande]

AF April 28

Hi Dill,

I too am enjoying the quiet, calm mornings these days.
No longer sitting here over coffee wondering if I insulted anyone last night via email or phone. I still feel like a jackass for having behaved that way for so long but it's over. A clear heart & soul are wonderful things........

Today is day 4 of the April heatwave here in PA. Way too much for this time of year. Looking forward to normal temps due to return tomorrow.

Have a great day everyone,
Lavande

[sdlovespackers]

AF April 28

Good Morning!
Dill- I was hoping you'd check yesterday's thread...I was going to mention I left you a message there. I think with my mom, there might be some of her own "stuff" going on...she's a pretty private person...when she's hurting or upset, it tends to come out in other ways. You really sound so happy and at peace these days...it's wonderful to hear. You really do positively touch so many people with your thoughful, kind words. You take the time to respond to each person, they aren't just empty "how ya doing" comments...you make each person feel like you truely care how they are...it takes a very special person to do that...I know you've done that for me...and I thank you. :l
Lav-I hear you--Omigosh, I hate to think back to all the phone calls, texts, and emails I made when I'd been drinking. I don't know what was worse, not remembering them or actually being able to read the texts or emails, and wondering what in the world was I thinking or not even imaging that I would talk in that way to someone! I just became someone I hated...it was like a switch...I started out fun, social, life of the party...then...flip....B*tch! It was always at that point I blacked out---yuck! Everyone would say they could actually see it in my eyes...when I "lost" connectedness. Was it like that for anyone else???
Oh I hate even thinking of those days!!!
I better get back to work and think of more positive things!!
Hello and happy thoughts for all those to come!!!
Sd:l

[strawman]

AF April 28

Hi All, Nice thread..I got to the point that I had to force myself not to phone or especially e-mail anyone once I got a good buzz on because I could do some great damage. And the trouble with e-mail is, they can save it! Glad to see everyone is doing well, Dill, what people take for granted, hey..just feeling normal is a big deal for me!! I had a bit of a time on Sunday, got some good cravings. I was seriously thinking about sneaking down to "get some chainsaw oil"....and a bottle. I am good at finding a way to get out the house, so I can replenish my supplies. But I managed to talk myself out of, stayed home and I didn't drink. Today is day 19 AF! This site works because I didn't want to write that I slipped, even though I know you guys would support me . I have been feeling out of sorts, fuzzy, and not clear headed. So I stopped the supp's on Monday and I feeling much better, I think I was taking to much? Anyway, feeling great today, normal, back in my own skin, slept great last night!. Today is suppose to be in the 80's!! Hope every has a great day!!!!! :happy:

[Peanut]

AF April 28

Morning All!
Beautiful, sunny day out there. Now, i wish there could be some heat!!!
Lavande - enjoy your heat wave - there are some (or at least one anyway) envious people up here in the north!!

Dill - you are sounding great and so calm and at peace. Only a couple more days until your birthday! yay!!

I am fortunate that I have never been a drunk-dialer and never email anybody while drinking, cuz i can't type!!! It's my "in person" behaviour that i always regret - just a little too frank and open and too damn personal!!!!! can't keep a secret to save my life!!!!

Hey Strawman - good to feel normal, isn't it??? I am really appreciating the sleep aspect of things.

SD - I agree with Dill about your mom. It is strange, but I really don't think alot of people really understand what a BIG DEAL it is for us to not drink, if they don't have an issue with it themselves. How many times have i heard "just have one and stop" - uh duh!!! Now why didn't I think of that?!?!?! Gee, thanks for that stellar advise!!! I'm cured!

Hmmmm.....

I am planning a nice long run at lunch time, since my feet feel so much better. One really good thing about staying AF on the weekends, is getting out in the morning to do a run or walk. There is a 5/10km fun run here this sunday morning which I thought about doing, but have opted for a 4 hour walk (the 40km hike is the next weekend so I have to practice going a long distance). So, I have volunteered to help at the run instead. This is something I never do, as who in their right mind would ever want to get up early on a sunday morning to go out and be a marshall at a road race?!?!? (with a hangover?!?!?) This way, i shall have an early night saturday and be up bright and early in the sunshine on sunday. Good plan, eh???

I had better get something done around here.
xoxo peanut

[lilmea]

AF April 28

How many times have i heard "just have one and stop" - uh duh!!! Now why didn't I think of that?!?!?! Gee, thanks for that stellar advise!!! I'm cured

Pnut-LOL!! I love the way you just cut to the chase when expressing things! I don't know how many times hubby said-"just have a couple and then quite." Well, geezz, if it was that easy for me than I guess that's what I would do.

SD-Mom's are funny people. My mom just does not want me to have a drinking problem. She even told me that she could understand if it was one of my brothers but just not me.It's almost as if she has decided I don't have a problems so therefore I don't. I think she would like to fix" me.

Lavande-Wondering what I did or said. The blackouts were awful. It's not just the not remembering, It's realizing how vunerable I was. Not only to people I knew but to strangers. I would run into people who would talk to me and I didn't have a clue who they were.

Strawman-congrat's on 19 days. Good job on not giving into the cravings. I guess I'm going to have to give you my famous "hang in there, It does get better" LOL! But it is so worth it.

Dill-I read your posts and I just smile. Just a couple of more days till the Ice-cream partyyy!

Sweaty-It's always good to hear from you!! I hope everything is going good for you.

Hoping everyone a good evening.