Stop Or Lose Everything.

[flamingo]

I love to drink my wine. I never drink in the day, except weekend, but I start when I get home from work. It started when I drank to cope with my ex husband. He was terribly abusive and I thought alcohol was my only way to live through it. Then by the Grace of God, I was able to get out of that relationship and move one. But I was already addicted to alcohol so it became fun rather than an escape tool. I have been given the opportunity to try again and am involved with the most wonderful man in the world. He has changed my life and brings joy to me everyday. But I'm still so miserable with myself and keep drinking non stop every single night until I'm in a stupor. If I don't fight with with him at night, I'll certainly fight with him in the morning because I'm so easily aggitated I just pick and pick at whatever. Everything makes me angry. I'm moody, irritable, and honestly I have always had a self esteem problem. Most of the time lately I just can barely stand myself. And I think everyone else ought to hate me too. I am really really suffering and I am going to drive my beloved away and I know it - if I don't do something. He just asked me this morning if I want him to leave. I think that the alcohol is probably the big reason why I am like this. And so I'm here so I can talk and try to figure out what to do.

[Fantasy Haircut]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Hi Flamingo,

I'm new on here but I just wanted to offer my support.

In answer to your question about figuring out what to do I'd say you've probably answered the question in your thread title.

[choppersmom]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

:welcome: Flamingo! I can so relate to your story about picking fights with your husband. I will do the same thing to my BF with too many glasses of wine. You have come to a wonderful place and will find lots of encouragement and support here. There is always someone to talk to!

Have you read RJ's book yet? It is a great read and full of valuable information.

I look forward to getting to know you.

[flamingo]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Thank you for your kind words, I am enjoying reading all the posts. I don't know anything about this problem, I never thought I'd find myself in it. And from what I have read, we all share alot of the same feelings. I know I'm going to feel better here. We all need to enjoy life again.

[flamingo]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

:thanks:Thank you for your kind words, I am enjoying reading all the posts. I don't know anything about this problem, I never thought I'd find myself in it. And from what I have read, we all share alot of the same feelings. I know I'm going to feel better here. We all need to enjoy life again.

[Lavande]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Welcome Flamingo

I hear every word you are saying. My story is so similar.

I am 5 weeks AF now and would like to share something very imprtant with you. Deal with your self esteem problem and resulting anxiety/depression issues FIRST! I did and am so happy now. I started out as a very strong, confident person but, somehow over the years I allowed 'life' to whittle away at me until there was almost nothing left. I was on & off an antidepressant for 5 years. It made me feel like crap and did little to no good. Back in January, I dumped it and found a good herbal product. Worked great with no side effects. By the middle of March I was ready to go AF and have had no problems, thanks to the MWO program and support.

You can do this too but make your plan first - you won't be soory.

All the best,
Lavande

[kriger]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Flamingo,
While I agree with much that Lavande says I disagree about going AF AFTER getting the other issues settled or addressed. Many of us find that by quitting the AL that depression and anxiety slips away with the alcohol. It doesn't happen with everyone but it did with me. AL can actually cause the anxiety and depression. There is much pride and hope that is restored just by going a short time with no alcohol. In my case, I had an overwhelming feeling of hope when I went 24 hrs without alcohol; I was feeling pretty hopeless and powerless before that time. I know everyone is different but I think the delay of going AF is a mistake. JMHO I don't mean to step on your toes Lavande- please don't take my post as a dis. Best to you Flamingo and Welcome to MWO. Krigs

[flamingo]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

I feel like a toddler learning to walk! I appreciate both of those advises. I'm not sure which is going to work for me. I actually swallowed a paxcil about two hours ago. I think alcohol makes me more depressed, and Im so hating the way I'm behaving that I think it's better that I try to be AF asap. I have happy people around me - and very supportive - actually they are all so happy they make me irritated sometimes!

So from what I'm reading around this gets worse after a few days, eh? The only thing I notice wrong with me, is that my vision seems snowy sometimes. Can that be from AL? Probably. Reading about some withdrawel symptoms made me a little scared.

I'm really glad I found this place. Thank you for your thoughts!

[Pan]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Shit. You sound just like me. You need to go AF now. It is an alcohol problem by the sound of it. I know it helped me when I stopped. I'm about to post a long thread about what I have just done. Maybe it will help you if you read that. I just wanted to answer you first. My thread is going to be called HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEONE

[flamingo]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Okay, I will read it.

[Bella]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Flamingo..lots of people here who get your story...i understand as i feel the same. alcohol is terrible yet we do it. Keep posting Bella XX

[flamingo]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Thanks, Sherri,

I'm pretty sure you are right. I'm going to be here - all the time - I think. I never thought there was anything like this on line.

Yup, I'm hurting someone who already went through hell in life, as I have. And he stands there and keeps loving me while I do stupid things like cry or pick on him. Wow. Poison is right. And your 6 weeks and you don't think about it?

Thank you for your encouragement.

[flamingo]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Thanks Bella, your right - but I did'nt know how anyone else felt until now. Today is the first day I learn anything about how personal alcoholism is. I don't know anyone who drinks.

[flamingo]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Congratulations. That's great b. I'm going to try to wing it I think.

[Lavande]

Stop Or Lose Everything.

Note to krieger

No dis taken by your response to my post.

I think it's important for each & every individual to take the time to dissect their situations and then decide on a plan of action. In my case, there was no question which came first - the anxiety/depression issue arrived first and after many, many years then the drinking. Did the drinking make my issues worse? ABSOLUTELY. It made perfect sense to me to address the long standing issues first because I didn't want to face failure when I decided to quit drinking.

What I decided to do worked very well for me. Just wanted to get that out there because there is no one right way to achieve you goals, right?

No one knows you better than yourself...................

Lavande