Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

[gyco]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

welcom nearly,it is a good site,but there are many others if your bored ,and have nothing to do,but being a lady of the house of late,health reasons,i don't know where you'd find time other then your house hold chores,and then taking care of hubbies needs,hahaha,im the hubby,hahahha,i noooo,see theres even joking here,at least the drink between you and your hubby is tolerable,for now,if you stop it will open your eyes,there are many pros and cons to stopping,then theres your sister,who im sorry to here about,but if she s that bad,hate to say it,but sometimes people have to be committed ? not on there terms,for there safety,if put in the rt facility,and she has a heart,and there tough enough on her,she will see the light,or die, i wish you well,shes a danger to herslf,and to the public,by not doing something,are the people around her not liable, gyco

[Boo boo]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Hello sweetheart

Are you okay?

Please talk to us and let us know how you are feeling....

I and many others are determined to help you through this....

Open up and let us help if we can

Boo :welcome:

[DeeBee]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

My hubby also started out as my drinking bud... until I went and ruined the friendship by always getting a head start on him.

Unfortunately I can relate to what it must feel like to have a sibling totally out of control. My brother has recently relapsed (drugs and AL) and has cut my parent off AGAIN. They haven't seen him in nearly 8 years whilst he's been living in the UK and recently moved to Scottland, but that hasn't stopped him milking my parents for all they are worth with lies about going to rehab blah blah blah only for us to find out the money went to drugs.

We can only be responsible for ourselves... good on you for joining MWO!

[polaryzed]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

My heart goes out to you Nearly . . .

I am not quite sure why but in your message, I see a Ray of Hope.

Not to intrude but may I be so bold as to ask if your Sister has been diagnosed with any terminal health issues?
Can a family member(s) have her sent into a Recovery Facility?
Are the children 16 and 13 able to go to Al-Anon meetings or an On-line Al-Anon chat?

Praying for only the Best for You and Your family, especially the children.

God Bless . . .

:l

[Nearly Sisterless]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Boy, I typed a long response and I guess I wasn't logged in. Duh!

Anyway, here's the short version.

Thanks to all that responded. They are helpful especially the comments regarding quitting without my hubby doing so. He is a very good man and he loves his family very much. I haven't yet told him about this site but if I tell him I want to go a/f for a week or for a lifetime he would support my decision. I have to get myself there first.

Last night was a piece of cake, no cravings whatsoever, even though I had beer in the frig. Tonight should be easy as well. Husband's still not feeling well unfortunately. So no beer for him, no beer for me. That much I can obviously handle.

As to the ray of light for my sister I was I could tell you that was possible. We come from a very loving, supportive and once a very close knit family. Cindy has gone through 3 in-patient stays and one IOP. She drank the day she releast from the hospital each time and drank before entering the IOP doors each morning. She admittedly drinks in the bathroom several times during of AA meetings. She drinks to get out of bed in morning and is the first person waiting at the door of the liquor at 10:00 a.m. to buy more. I didn't even know the liquor store opened at 10:00 a.m.! Anyway, she is refusing any further treatment saying that they don't work. She has chirrhosis of the liver and without cessation of alcohol will die a very unpleasant death. She refuses to even contemplate giving it up.

I don't want to walk even one day in her shoes!

[Cntrygrl]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

I am new to this myself, only 12 dyas, and I am not an expert, but I would not be here if I did not want this myself, for myself. If I waited until my husband decided it was a problem. I would never stop drinking because almost nothing is a problem in his eyes. Not because he is a bad guy, thats just his way (denial).

Watching your sister wither away may be a good incentive to stop, but likely an excuse to drink for someone who drinks. Somehow, you have to rise above it all. Get to yourself, your true being. You know what you need to do. That is why you are here. Be strong. Don't be afraid. It won't be easy, but it will feel good and you will have a clearer mind to help you know what you need to do for yourself, your family and your sister.

When I first quit, I didn't sleep well either. Now I am sleeping deeper than ever and even dreaming.

Multi vit and Kudzu. If funds are tight or you want these things now, purchase them locally. I bought my Multi Vit, Kudzu root and Amino acids at Whole Foods for about $40.

Is it possible for your sister to get into a inpatient program?

[Prest4time]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Hi Nearly Sisterless~

I too want to say how sorry I am for what your sister is suffering through and the fact that she has given up hope. I know this must be devastating for your entire family, especially her children.

The supplements really do help, but as many have discovered, they are not a magic pill that makes any desire to drink go away. You definitely have to make the choice, even if it is just one day at a time, and then take the supplements and they make it a lot easier. Sounds like you are off to a great start and having a loving, supportive husband will make the journey that much easier.

I also had the sleep issue as well. When our bodies are used to having alcohol in our system every night when we go to bed, it is quite an adjustment to fall asleep naturally. It takes time I hear. I personally take a very small dose of Ambien (half of a 1 mg tablet) and that does the trick for me. I hope to not take it long term, but for now it has made my life much easier... much easier to go to bed early and get a good night's sleep, which in turn makes me more active and excited to face the following day. But try some natural sleep aids first such as Melatonin, Calms Forte or Valerian Root, all of which you can pick up at GNC.

I have some extra supplements and would be happy to give you some as I live in your area. I will PM you my contact info if you are interested.

All the best and keep up the good work!
P4T

[Nearly Sisterless]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

You summed it up nicely Cntrygrl. If I waited for my hubby to decide there was a problem, the decision would never come. Its funny I kept saying to him "don't ever let me become my sister." Like he has some magical power to prevent it! If love could have saved my sister she would have been well years ago! We all thought once we got her into inpatient treatment that things would change. Not a chance! She gave up vodka for beer for about 2 years and then right back on vodka. Straight up, my sister drinks minis out of her purse about 15 a day. Doesn't matter where we are. Lunch, Mother or Father's Day dinner with family, no matter what the circumstances she leaves the table purse in hand and can bearly return to her seat, doesn't even know where the table is.

[Cntrygrl]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

WOW... Out of curiosity - does anyone say anything to her or does everyone pertend nothing is wrong? Why not order a drink with her meal or make a drink if she is at someone's house. Why the need to hide it?

I do feel for her kids. She will likely miss their graduations and weddings. Her kids need her to be there to watch the sports, take pictures before the dance, give advice (even though it probably won't be wanted).

What happened to make her not want to live? She must be very sad.

I apologize if I am to frank. It is not my intention to be offensive.
If this is too personal please don't reply.

[Nearly Sisterless]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Dont mind at all Cntygrl,

My sister has choosen or should I say her disease has made the choice for her to run and ruin her life. Its what the disease does. Believe me I have read everything I can get my hands on and researched till I was sick with worry. Hence, here I am talking to you all and feeling better I must say. Alcoholism kills. Its a disease not unlike cancer only its in your brain. Alcohol takes over your every thought at some point and your brain is re-wired so to speak, you are no longer in control of your actions. Ultimately, a chronic alcoholic will choose alcohol over anyone and anything. They loose their marriages, their children through divorce. Her husband is in financial ruin although he makes over $100k a year. They loose their friends through frustration and they break the hearts of everyone that loves them. My sister has been rushed to the E.R. twice to have her body flused and drank on the way home insisting a family member take her to the store. They are relentless. Mind you my sister is in end stage. She has been sick for well over 10 years and it just keeps getting worse. Trust me we have all done all that we possibly can. It is very heartbreaking to everyone that loves her deeply but she is the only one that can make herself well.

Many people find soberity and live very happy healthy lives, I have talked with my sister sponsor, she has been sober 16 years. In contrast, my sister had a friend in A.A. who died three weeks ago. She had two children ages 4 and 6. She was divorced and living alone with infrequent visitation from her children. My sister is entering this phase of the disease. Her divorce will soon be final. My sister and her friend both fought against treatment though forced in many times and both drank the day they got out of the treatment. Its a hard battle to fight some win, some do not.

My believe and hope is that if you tackle your desire or excessive drinking in an early enough stage your possibility for recovery increases enormously. For this reason here I am seeking your friendship. I refuse to loose everything that I hold near and dear to some malicous disease while it, hopefully, is still within my being to do so.

I hope that wasn't too much information. Just trying to share my wealth of experience and knowledge through years of research.

[AJAH]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Nearly Sisterless,

Your story is sad and I feel for you. Your pain must be so hard watching someone you have shared a lifetime with just give up the will to live. I give you so much credit and applause for your research and your strong determination to seek information to head down a better path for yourself. We all know this awful disease is genetic and if these children of hers are going to need someone to lean on now and in the future if their mother won't be there for them, you may very well have to be there for them. They will need your support, guidance, education and most of all...love.

I don't post much and I'm just reading on MWO mostly and starting to slowly tackle my issues one day at a time. I have teenagers and each day I awake with a clear head I feel so much more empowered. Hearing stories from others and realizing I am NOT ALONE was the first step in helping me cross this threshold into cyberspace into hands of people that are helping me get stronger day by day just by their words on this website. As simple as that is it is working...along with supplements. Please keep posting and do your research and continue to help yourself. I want you to find help here, I want to try and help you, I want you to continue to report your research and findings here to help others, I want you to find comfort here because it sounds like you found this site at a time when a door opened and you need it, and most of all, I think you found this site at a time when you, me and others can be helped and we can kick this disease and be the lucky ones!

[Popeye]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Nearly Sisterless,

Many people find soberity and live very happy healthy lives

I treated drink as a solution to my problems; a chance to relax and make the world go away. To forget my troubles for a while. That was the totally wrong attitude for me to take. It was never the answer. I'm happier being sober in so many ways now. Sure, life throws up it's problems and heartache, but I can face them with a degree of cheerfulness and determination that I didn't have before. By eliminating alcohol from the equation I am becoming a more healthy person (physically and emotionally) and better able to deal with my life.
In answer to your original question, you can control your drinking like DeeBee and others have said.

I wish you and yours well.....

[Lost Soul]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Hi nearly,
I am new here too, messy day y.day so today is my day 1 too.
I have just read ur story it is heart breaking.
It is great that you feel you can do this with AL in your house I know I couldn't.
I do not know how I would cope watching a family member secumb to alcoholism.
I have only met one other person suffering with the disease, they too were someone I became close to and in denial and found it very distressing to see.
I admire your courage and my thoughts are with you.
Take care xoxo

[Cntrygrl]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Thank you

Thank you for all the information and clarification. I am also new here and it has been helpful reading and hearing others stories. Realizing we are not alone in this.

I commend you for being there for your sister and her family and having the will to be stronger. In a difficult time like this, it makes the quitting that much harder. I find inspiration in your story. I do not want to end up at the end sick and dying because i abused myself all these years. It scares me to know the pull it has on me to want to have a drink. It feels good to drink at first and it calms me, but I almost always go to far and then regret how wasted I am. I have done this for some time and wonder about the impact on my body.

I told a friend a few years ago the hard part about quitting drinking was having to feel everything and I just hurt both physicaly and emotionally. I am on day 13 and finding the hardest part other than not having a drink is to feel and deal with my emotions without numbing them. I guess part of quitting is accepting and dealing with emotions you may rather not.

We are both moving in the right direction. The great thing about not drinking is the amazing clarity.

Please continue to post and let us know how things are going.

[Niblet]

Newbie here. First time actually. Hope I do this right.

Sending you positive loving vibes along with prayers xxx
You aren't alone in this battle we all are too familiar with... Read lots, post lots, ask questions but most of all involve yourself with non al hobies and new habits...
Take care and know you are loved. xxx