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    First timer (newbie I suppose)

    This is my first time doing this/confronting this in the semi-open. I am what?s euphemistically called a coping alcoholic ? I?m managing to disguise my shortcomings to some extent and I?m not drinking during the working day. I want to get some stuff off my chest and anonymity is helpful. I have a fundamental, pressing need to fix myself and have had it for an awfully long time ? I?ve parked it, nudged around it, said I would fix it, accommodated it & lied awake worrying about it.

    Starting off, but not as an excuse, I knew I was in the danger zone insofar as a lot of my antecedents were in trouble. Not surprisingly, I ignored all the warnings. My father in his last years spoke about committing his mother for alcoholism and having to deal with his father being drunk on the streets of a major small town in Ireland. My grandfather was, apparently, the highest paid man in the community, but he had the gene.

    I replicated my dad?s experience and had my mother committed to Grangegorman, a mental institution in Dublin ? a hugely traumatic experience but one I thought had to be gone through.

    I?m in a funny place right now. I had a successful business which I sold 9 years ago, but also at the time I walked away from my wife and family for someone I fell in love with and whom I love completely to this day. I?ve four kids and my objective was to look after them all through expensive schooling until they were all sorted. My ego can?t let them down and my youngest is about to be 17.

    All the money I got at the time (a considerable sum) is now gone through keeping what the family had going as was. My guilt and peculiar sense of responsibility has meant I?ve run out of money and I?m now facing into dodgy territory. I?m 55 and have spent everything, but need to keep hacking on. The one crutch that I rely on needs to be lost if I?m going to keep the ship afloat. All advices welcome.

    #2
    First timer (newbie I suppose)

    Hello Lastlegs.
    Welcome to you!
    OK here is my 2 pence worth...
    Get the book, make a plan, join a daily thread and get all the support available. There is tons and I guarantee it really does help.
    The book will tell you about the supplements and meds that might be beneficial and there is an excellent thread in Monthly Abstinence called the Tool Box thread. That has lots of inspirational posts to help you get a plan together.
    Good luck and I look forward to seeing you around the boards.
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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      #3
      First timer (newbie I suppose)

      Hello lastlegs,

      A big welcome to you, glad you're here! I second what startingover said above. Make your plan and get started now, no time to waste. I am 55 also - funny how everything suddenly becomes real & urgent at this age..........I guess it's the realization that there IS no more time to waste, right?

      Stay tuned in and post often. It really does help.

      All the best to you,
      Lavande
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

      Comment


        #4
        First timer (newbie I suppose)

        Hi lastlegs and :welcome: You have been given very sound advice from Starts and LaVande. Keep posting and asking questions too. You will find a lot of support and encouragement here. Also, I am going to suggest checking out the ODAT (one day at a time) thread or the Newbies Nest. Both are in the just starting out section.

        Glad to have you here I hope to get to know you.

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          #5
          First timer (newbie I suppose)

          Welcome LastLeg . . .

          :welcome: Welcome LL . . . so glad you found this forum.

          Hands down it is a perfect place to come for advice and solace (in anonymity). You have a loving family which makes 'you a very rich man'.

          Richs are not always of monetary value, they are of love, support and inspiration. And if you choose to you will find all of these here with these wonderful people.

          The forum is vast and there are many facets to discover.

          God Bless and keep coming back . . .

          Comment


            #6
            First timer (newbie I suppose)

            :hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:
            :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
            best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

            Comment


              #7
              First timer (newbie I suppose)

              welcome!

              Welcome, LL! This is a wonderful place. Glad you joined us.

              I really admire your devotion and persistence. You DO have what it takes to make a success of your newest goal. Give yourself a pat on the back for doing what needs to be done. Congratulations!:goodjob:

              Comment


                #8
                First timer (newbie I suppose)

                Hi LL,
                It's weird as hell coming on here isnt it?
                And yes sharing how you're feeling anon feels like a weight has been lifted.
                You should be proud of yourself, for the sacrafices you have made for your children, you should see this as a chance to look after yourself 'me' time.
                We are all here to support and share our experiences and it makes you feel so much less alone.
                Keep well xoxo
                To see a world in a grain of sand
                And a heaven in a wildflower.
                Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
                And eternity in an hour.

                Comment


                  #9
                  First timer (newbie I suppose)

                  Hi Lastlegs!

                  Phew! I bet that's a relief isn't it? First of all a) posting and then b) logging on to if anybody will take the time to read/respond. The answer is "yes" and :welcome: Well Done!

                  You sound as if you know already that you've got your problem to be addressed but you're now looking as to how. Unfortunately because it's then over-spilling into other areas into your life, ie, finances - how desperate would the thought be to come clean now with your nearest and dearest :no: If that's a total "no no" please forgive me but you sound an incredible solid, supportive and responsible father and obviously you've been wanting to do your best for them but now you've realised that your own problems/battles have to be addressed really first and foremost if you're going to be able to function in order then to support again ... that said - is it time to look after number 1 for a while? If you don't, who will?:l

                  From your family history you do sound as if you're "up against it" and well done for addressing it now before it gets too out of hand. I've found medication that has helped - PM if you want any more details - but I found a great deal of comfort from just generally looking around the site, getting a feel that I'm not the only one out there ... that in a funny kind of way makes you feel better.

                  Now you've been a PV (post virgin!) you'll get used to it - sometimes it can get quite addictive though and I'm like "crickey moses - is that the time?!:wow: Talking of which - nearly midnight so I'm off - keep in touch!

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