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    just wanting some answers

    hey...
    at the beginning of this year i started drinking wine every night. It started with a few glasses, then it turned to at least 2 L a night. I am not sure about the cause. I found the love of my life and i was finally happy with my studies but something was missing. i had a very traumatic thing happening to me last year. is that enough to make me an alcoholic? what can i do to fix this? As i am writing this i have a 5l box of wine next to me. Please help...

    #2
    just wanting some answers

    Hi Loobi,
    :welcome::welcome:
    You have asked a lot of questions that most here will find easy to answer, as most here have followed the path you are on now.

    Beer was my beverage of choice and it gradually got to the point where I was drinking so much most all days that I knew something had to change. I expect this is the position you now find yourself in. I think most folks here knew they had to change. Either to a total abstinence position or at least a moderation if possible.

    MYO is a great site. You only have to read and you will find the support. Good going to start to wonder if there is a problem. In my opinion, there is a problem based on your post. It is up to you as far as the next step and where it leads. But we are all here to help in any way we can.

    :goodjob:

    com1
    Com1

    Comment


      #3
      just wanting some answers

      Hi Loobi,

      Welcome! You're sure to find some answers here as well as lots of support.
      I will tell you something straight out - wine does not solve your problems. I tried it, it didn't work.

      I'm sorry that you experienced something traumatic in your life. I suppose we all do, to a point, at some time or the other. The way we choose to deal with these traumas is important. Perhaps you are dealing with some anxiety/depression related to this event. Please download the MWO book, it has a lot of good information. You need to make a plan that will work for you. You want to put a stop to this behavior before it really does get out of control. Walk away from that 5l box, go do something healthy, take a walk, read a book, anything.

      You sound like a young, intelligent person, do the right thing for yourself.
      Take care of yourself, we're here to help. Read & post often, you won't be sorry

      All the best,
      Lavande
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

      Comment


        #4
        just wanting some answers

        Hi there Loobi, and a big Welcome to you!
        I think that before we can work on, or wonder why we drink so much, and 2x litres of wine a night IS too much, (this coming from an ex 4/5 litre of wine a day drinker who would have laughed at 2!) we need to give drinking a break, and get a clear head. You will just go round in circles if you try to find answers while you are drinking. Read everything you can on this site, and get yourself informed. Get educated about your drinking. You will most likely see yourself in many peoples post's here, i know i did, and that helped to realise i was not alone with this problem. Don't know if you are an alcoholic, but it sounds like you have a drinking problem, that you need to deal with. There is lot's of support here, and lot's of idea's, so read, read, read, and jump in and post if you feel like it too, and get yourself a plan that will work for you.
        Best wishes, and welcome again...............G.

        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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          #5
          just wanting some answers

          thank you so much

          hey guys
          thanks so much for your support. I find it really hard to find understanding and support from my peers and my friends. they all have a very judgmental attitude. But no matter what, i want to change the current course that i am on. That is where you guys come in. I just need advice, tips and support. I also need to know that i am not alone, and think you guys have shown me that. So thanks very much...and keep it coming! you guys are my inspiration!

          Comment


            #6
            just wanting some answers

            Hi Loobi,

            I think just posting here is a great first step! I'm newer to this site, with 19 days AF (Antabuse is my way to get to this point at this time). I'm taking these days to do some self examination - why do I take any excuse to stop by the store and by that bottle of wine? I'll just have one glass I tell myself, to take the edge of the day off. One turns to two, to the bottle, and then - yup - often driving under enough of the influence back to the store for a second bottle.

            The posts here are very honest, helpful, and insightful. Read them, take what you want and leave the rest. Just know that we are all here for you and have your back!

            Best of luck, thinking of you!

            Ready4Control.

            Comment


              #7
              just wanting some answers

              Hi Loobi. I don't think trauma has anything to do with it. Sure when bad things happen people turn to drink to escape. But I don't see any big connection.

              The reason you drink is that it feels good. The alcohol allows your brain to stimulate the opiate centers in your brain which control basic reward behaviors. One glass of wine gives you a bigger "reward" than a prehistoric caveman got by killing a mammoth and making a feast for his family. Nearly all addictive behaviors, like gambling, or drugs, are related to the same reward center.

              Wine is tasty; nice reward for your tongue. It contains healthy sugars for energy which is a reward for your stomach, digestion and body. And body can make energy from alcohol. If it wasn't so bad for you, Alcohol would be one of the bestselling health drinks on the market.

              So your body is biologically programmed to say "more more more" and it lacks the programming for "that's enough". Bad body! Bad! Sorry. Evolution has left us a tad short with the quantity programming. We lose control, overdo the drinking and suddenly we get the toxic symptoms; lack of focus, weight gain, health issues, and mental issues including depression.

              They key is that you -can- gain control and you don't really have to live like a caveman now. Everyone's journey is different. But you can be in charge of the direction for yourself. We'll chip in with ideas. Keep following and posting.

              Comment


                #8
                just wanting some answers

                Day One!!

                hey
                today i woke up with a hangover...again...and i realised that this was it. Today i did not go to the shops and buy more wine, which is the first time i haven't done so in a long time. So i am labelling today Day One. I will try and stay the course and see how it goes. I will keep you guys informed of the progress i make. Wish me Luck!

                Comment


                  #9
                  just wanting some answers

                  Good for you on Day One, Loobi! Way to go! And I do wish you the very best of luck. Please try to do something nice for yourself today to celebrate your first step. Go ahead -- indulge in something else. (Can anyone say, "chocolate?") :-)
                  "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

                  Comment


                    #10
                    just wanting some answers

                    Going well

                    hey...all is going well. The last two days have been hard but i have not bought any wine. I am especially tempted at night, especially when i want to unwind, but i have to settle for a cup of tea instead. Last night i was agitated and irritable. I snapped at everyone and i only realised later why. It was the first time in a long time that i did not have wine in the evening. I especially missed drinking a glass while i was cooking, which is one of my favourite things. So far, so good, and i hope to keep it up. By the way, this is starting to sound like a blog. Is there any specific place on MYO that i can blog?
                    as always, thanks for all the support and positive messages.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      just wanting some answers

                      Hi Loobi,
                      Well done indeed....
                      These are some of the hardest day to get through.
                      The thing that took me so long to realise was that I was not losing out by staying sober, I was getting my life back. I was no longer pressing the self-destruct botton. Alcohol makes you think that you are punishing yourself by doing without it. It's just not true. You are freeing yourself from it's clutches.
                      Don't just settle for a cup of tea. Enjoy drinking it in the knowledge that you are doing yourself the biggest favour.

                      There's a blog tab on the blue bar at the top of the page.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        just wanting some answers

                        Hi Loobi!
                        Welcome!
                        You have come to a great place to find support and understanding!
                        Im sorry to hear that you feel you have a judgemental support network, we are far from that!
                        You are doing so well you should be so proud of yourself.
                        Getting off the drink is a little like trying to stop smoking I found, your so used to having it there that when you feel you can't have it you get most grumpy!
                        It will get better and I have used a drug called campral from the doctors that help me with the cravings.
                        A huge hug and good luck,
                        nisha oxox
                        To see a world in a grain of sand
                        And a heaven in a wildflower.
                        Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
                        And eternity in an hour.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          just wanting some answers

                          need some advice

                          hey
                          i want to ask something and i know that this is the only place i will get nonjudgmental answers. If i drink about 7-10 glasses of wine every other night, without getting drunk just a little buzz is that serious enough to constitute a problem? I can stop, and have a shower and go to bed at a reasonable hour without wanting more. However, my boyfriend seems to think that drinking should only be on weekends and in moderation. I just want some honest, unbiased advice.
                          loobi

                          Comment


                            #14
                            just wanting some answers

                            Hey Loobi and welcome. I just wanted to offer you some advice. I have seen posted on MWO by several members in answer to your question. "If you are questioning your own drinking, there is probably a problem." It may not be those exact words, but I think it is close.

                            What are your long-term goals? Are you trying to moderate or abstain?

                            I hope I helped a little bit and didn't confuse you more. Sometimes I just can't get the words out right! Good luck and I am available to help in any way I can to help you achieve your goals.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              just wanting some answers

                              hey choppersmom
                              i know that i am not an alcoholic. But those around me, and those who love me are pretty much non drinkers. They sniff at more than one glass of red wine or sherry a week. I don't know if my idea of drinking is severely skewed or if they are right. i guess i am trying to moderate more than abstain. On top of that i live at a university which is full of drinking and students drink every night. What is the difference between me (who is seen as a black sheep of the family) and the other students who are just having fun? I am so confused...i want to have fun like my friends and i have all these people telling me that i have a problem. If i have a problem then will try my utmost to stop it in its tracks...but why can't i have fun like my friends?

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