just wanting some answers

[choppersmom]

just wanting some answers

Loobi, I used to ask myself both of those questions you have posed. It's taken a lot of trial and error since joining this site, but I am learning to have fun without AL. I don't always think the friends I do have are having fun drinking. I commend you for trying to figure this out while at university. That is a huge step.
Maybe try to get a bit of AF time under your belt and then reanalyze your views on everything. I am so sorry that your close friends and family are so judgmental toward you. That is so very hard. You are doing a great job coming here and posting and asking questions.

[Blue Sky]

just wanting some answers

Hi Loobi

I wouldn't worry about terminology. Drink dependent, heavy drinker, alcoholic - it's all very subjective. It doesn't matter what your friends and family think. Although when those around you start saying you are drinking too much it often means you are. You just have to ask yourself truthfully, "Is alcohol stopping you living life to the full and reaching your potential?" People without a problem do not lie in bed worrying if they have a problem or not. Not really sure how much you are drinking. In your first post you mentioned 2 L a night. That is definitely too much in my honest opinion! In another post you say 7-10 glasses every other night. Obviously glass size varies but in UK we are told that a woman should not exceed 14 units per week. A 75 ml bottle of red wine contains about 10 units so that is only about 1.5 bottles of wine per week. Not a lot is it? If you continue to drink at least keep a diary of the amount....it's amazing how it all adds up and you might get a shock.



You say you're a student and there is alot of drinking amongst your friends. That's how my problems started 20 years ago. One by one my friends cut back and I carried on. One thing that is clear on this site is that if you don't address the problem of alcohol it gets worse. Also, the longer you leave it the harder it will be to stop. You have made a good first step, coming here and reading and posting. Congrats on the 2 days too. Hope that helps!

[Loobi]

just wanting some answers

i thought i could do this...whats wrong with me?

hey guys
i tried...i really did. I went 3 whole days AF and my boyfriend was so proud of me. I woke up every morning feeling fresh and got a lot of work done. But at the back of my mind i was missing something. In the evenings especially i was feeling like i was doing every thing half heartily. Life just seemed so boring without my wine. So i bought a box...and i told myself i would be ok...that i could just have a few glasses that could take the edge off. What a fool i am.
The next day, i was supposed to volunteer with my university at a hospital. I couldn't because i was so hung over. The guilt was too much to bear. I let down my boyfriend (who is now watching EVERYTHING i do) and i let down myself. I bought another box today, because i thought, whats the point? i will never be free of this... i really do not know what to do. A year ago i was not this person. How did i become her?please...i need help.

[mooderator]

just wanting some answers

Loobi

The good news is that you are realising early that you have an issue, which has the potential to get worse if you carry on. But having realised its an issue, you have the chance to stop it before it takes you over completely.

I recognise all the things you are saying. I was binge drinking once a week when I came here. And yes being honest 7-10 glasses is problem drinking if done on a regular basis. I think its fair to say students do tend to drink ALOT which can normalise the behaviour. Some people seem to be able to drink through their student days then just put it down in the real world. For others they find they cant just put it down for whatever reason.

There are all kinds of different drinkers here. IF you want to moderate, the best plan is to try and get some AF time under your belt first...a few weeks, 30 days, whatever feels right, whatever you can manage. In this time re-evalute whether you can have fun without AL, when you use it, why you use it. If you are like me, you will initally find this hard at the times you would normally have drunk (for me was saturday nights or occasions) but it gets easier as time passes. Once you start to see what your pattern is and why you drink, you will start to see whether you can moderate or not.

There are lots of tools here and lovely caring supportive people. Make the most of all these things and give this your 100% best shot.

Good luck

Moo