hi people,
ive just registered with myo as i have finally realised that if i do not give up alcohol for good im going to let my life slip by. im a very successful, self made male based at new delhi india. on the face of things ive got everything that anyone can ever desire to have - a very caring, loving, supportive family, a beautiful graceful wife, very successful parents, a bonny set of twin sons, a business conglomorate comprising of several companies engaged in manufacturing, real estate, infrastructure development & import activities, a series of sprawling villas, a vast social circle, the best cars that money can buy but yet my complete helplessness to prevent my dependence on alcohol has ruined everything. even after 4 near fatal car crashes over the past few years & the fact that my sons are of too tender an age & are their future is totally dependent on me, i have failed to correct myself. initially all through university i abstained from alcohol completely althogh all my pals used to binge night after night & then at the fag end of university, as a result of a dare posed to me i drank a 1/2 litre glass of whisky -- & that was the beginning of the end as far as my slavery under alcohol was concerned. now 15 years from then im consuming at least a bottle of vodka every night & even more over the weekends. im totally disgusted with my lifestyle & feel so humiliated & degraded when i realise how im compromising the dignity of my family with my drunkenness. i go clubbing every night straight from work, hardly spend any time with my kids, drink till i lose my senses & then am driven back home by my driver after i lose control. every night i promise to myself that i will moderate my intake only to get pissed drunk again. im losing touch with my pals, not doing any of the things normal people do-- i dont remember when i saw a movie last, when i took my family out for a meal last-- its just work, followed by a binge, followed by a hangover, followed by work, only to followed by another binge all over again. i seem to have no control over my actions - on the rare occasions that ive tried to abstain on any particular night im subjected to nightmares & its always been an effort to spend the night - ive not been able to sleep a wink on these nights. ive tried medication, aa, quacks but nothings worked till date. i just dont know if ill be able to get my life back - ive decided to definetely, definetely, firmly abstain from tonight. the worst part is that all the best memories of my life, as in the worst are corelated to alcohol & i cant imagine my life without alcohol, which i find impossible to have in moderation - im stuck in a rut.
ive just registered with myo as i have finally realised that if i do not give up alcohol for good im going to let my life slip by. im a very successful, self made male based at new delhi india. on the face of things ive got everything that anyone can ever desire to have - a very caring, loving, supportive family, a beautiful graceful wife, very successful parents, a bonny set of twin sons, a business conglomorate comprising of several companies engaged in manufacturing, real estate, infrastructure development & import activities, a series of sprawling villas, a vast social circle, the best cars that money can buy but yet my complete helplessness to prevent my dependence on alcohol has ruined everything. even after 4 near fatal car crashes over the past few years & the fact that my sons are of too tender an age & are their future is totally dependent on me, i have failed to correct myself. initially all through university i abstained from alcohol completely althogh all my pals used to binge night after night & then at the fag end of university, as a result of a dare posed to me i drank a 1/2 litre glass of whisky -- & that was the beginning of the end as far as my slavery under alcohol was concerned. now 15 years from then im consuming at least a bottle of vodka every night & even more over the weekends. im totally disgusted with my lifestyle & feel so humiliated & degraded when i realise how im compromising the dignity of my family with my drunkenness. i go clubbing every night straight from work, hardly spend any time with my kids, drink till i lose my senses & then am driven back home by my driver after i lose control. every night i promise to myself that i will moderate my intake only to get pissed drunk again. im losing touch with my pals, not doing any of the things normal people do-- i dont remember when i saw a movie last, when i took my family out for a meal last-- its just work, followed by a binge, followed by a hangover, followed by work, only to followed by another binge all over again. i seem to have no control over my actions - on the rare occasions that ive tried to abstain on any particular night im subjected to nightmares & its always been an effort to spend the night - ive not been able to sleep a wink on these nights. ive tried medication, aa, quacks but nothings worked till date. i just dont know if ill be able to get my life back - ive decided to definetely, definetely, firmly abstain from tonight. the worst part is that all the best memories of my life, as in the worst are corelated to alcohol & i cant imagine my life without alcohol, which i find impossible to have in moderation - im stuck in a rut.
Comment