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    #16
    New person - need a little bit of support...

    Thanks for your post

    Hi Miss Blossom! What a blessing your post was to me at 5:00 A.M. this morning. I haven't been posting here for a couple of years, but today I looked up this site in desperation and read your post. At first I thought - did I write that last night and forget? But then I saw your age and I'm 20 years older.
    There's a whole bunch of us out there who love our wine and rationalize it in all different ways. It's cultural! Great wine, Italy, New Zealand, France, California, it's so delicious, it belongs with meals! I just don't get that it's still alcohol and makes me feel like s--- the next day, hate myself, chastise myself and vow to never do it again until 4:30 P.M. rolls around again and I deserve that break from reality. I've made promises and ultimatums over and over again. It's such a pattern and so many of us do it. Once that bottle is uncorked, it must be finished! I know I need to turn away from it but the pull is so strong. Sometimes the only solution seems to be to lock myself away somewhere, but I'm a professional, well-respected and the only outward symptom at this point is my puffiness and weight gain. I'm a good faker. But I do want to thank you for being here, being honest and posting. I thought about your post all day, while I went to a professional conference feeling like crap from last night! I want some hope too. Sometimes I think the only way out is to just disappear from this earth. It gets very depression, this horrible cycle. Thank-you!

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      #17
      New person - need a little bit of support...

      Hi Miss Blossom! What a blessing your post was to me at 5:00 A.M. this morning. I haven't been posting here for a couple of years, but today I looked up this site in desperation and read your post. At first I thought - did I write that last night and forget? But then I saw your age and I'm 20 years older.
      There's a whole bunch of us out there who love our wine and rationalize it in all different ways. It's cultural! Great wine, Italy, New Zealand, France, California, it's so delicious, it belongs with meals! I just don't get that it's still alcohol and makes me feel like s--- the next day, hate myself, chastise myself and vow to never do it again until 4:30 P.M. rolls around again and I deserve that break from reality. I've made promises and ultimatums over and over again. It's such a pattern and so many of us do it. Once that bottle is uncorked, it must be finished! I know I need to turn away from it but the pull is so strong. Sometimes the only solution seems to be to lock myself away somewhere, but I'm a professional, well-respected and the only outward symptom at this point is my puffiness and weight gain. I'm a good faker. But I do want to thank you for being here, being honest and posting. I thought about your post all day, while I went to a professional conference feeling like crap from last night! I want some hope too. Sometimes I think the only way out is to just disappear from this earth. It gets very depression, this horrible cycle. Thank-you!

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        #18
        New person - need a little bit of support...

        Welcome Miss Blossom

        Well done for posting and introducing yourself. It will get easier from here on in.

        There is so much non-judgmental help here. In addition there are many tools and suggestions.

        If I can assist you in any way PM me. Much of what you said resonated with me. Although I was more of a weekend drinker.

        I wish you every great success in beating the beast. You can do it. It takes some hard work and dedication, but its possible. Lots of testiments to that theory here.

        Love and luck...Moo
        "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
        but in what direction we are moving."

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          #19
          New person - need a little bit of support...

          Hey Miss Blossom,
          I joined WW to lose that last 10 lbs but had a bit of an ulterior motive. So much of what they say applies to drinking. So you can take all of the concepts - change them into words alcohol related - and make them work in that area as well. My favorite is "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" changed into "no drink tastes as good as a hangover feels"...things like that! I've had a lot of fun with it and it helps!

          Welcome and keep reading and posting.
          Eve11
          "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

          ~Jack Welsh~:h

          God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

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            #20
            New person - need a little bit of support...

            Thanks to all of you. It's now the end of day 2, and I've been trying to explain to my husband that moderation and I just don't do so well together. He says it's mind over matter, and I agree, except that when I drink that first glass of wine - with every intention of having "just one", I lose my rational thinking, so it doesn't work. I talk myself into it, and then blow it all. It's costing me a fortune, not just financially. I'm often too hungover to play with my daughter, and I pretend that I have a headache from work or a sore back, but if I am completely honest with myself, it's because I am a problem drinker.

            I'm just so fed up with it controlling me. I have a bottle shop within walking distance and I'm there all the time - it's embarrassing how friendly the staff are with me. They know me better than any other shop up the road.

            I'm also sick of that booze bloat which I have begun to notice. My face just looks tired and a bit "inflated" but not in a good way. I want to be fit and healthy and I need to put an end to this now once and for all.

            I saw a counsellor about it ages ago and should go back, but I am embarrassed at having lapsed into drinking again. I need to do this with exercise, diet and for no one but myself.

            I gave up smoking 2 years ago and haven't looked back, so I know I can do this. I thought life would not be any fun without cigarettes, and now I don't even think about them, although no one around me smokes, so it's simple, but alcohol is everywhere and everyone drinks in my group of friends. And all quite heavily, so if I don't its really obvious. I'm also quite shy when I don't drink, which is probably why I rely on it so much socially.

            I think that by exercising and starting to feel confident in my body again, I won't need to drink to have fun.

            Thinking today about what I can replace my drinking with, since nature abhors a vacuum, I thought "what do I find fun?" and I couldn't think of anything. Except getting drunk and eating. Then I thought about skiiing and horse riding which I love, as well as reading, and perhaps if I wasn't so hungover I might like playing with my daughter again. I like bike riding, and I live near the beach and I used to like beach walks. Anyway it was a wake up to realise my only fun was drinking and eating. Not very much of a life.

            Night night from Miss Blossom on day 2 of her AF attempt.

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              #21
              New person - need a little bit of support...

              Hi and welcome Miss B,

              Crumbs your hubby sounds just like mine -- mind over matter indeed!!
              Yes, you CAN do this. Use the tools available here and get a plan together.

              Sending you strength on your journey:-)
              "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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                #22
                New person - need a little bit of support...

                If a doctor told him that I couldn't drink in moderation he'd be fine, but because it is my choice, he's trying to sway me so I am suddenly somehow able to be moderate. It's just not my personality. I am not being defeatist - I have tried moderation, I just can't do it. I really wish I could. I want to, but it just never works out that way - no matter how much I try, because alcohol does something to me that breaks my resolve. It makes me drunk. Mmmm.

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                  #23
                  New person - need a little bit of support...

                  Miss B, you are NOT a defeatist, you are STRONG and in control of your addiction.
                  I am sorry your hubby does not support you in your decision, is it maybe because it highlights how much he drinks or that he has lost his drinking buddy?
                  What ever your DH issues are, don't take them on board, you have yourself to look after.
                  Good on you for sticking to your guns!
                  "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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                    #24
                    New person - need a little bit of support...

                    Here, here, Miss B (to what wise DeeBee said)! When I read your post, I too, wondered why your hubby might want you to mod. instead of going AF. If he's like my BF, maybe he's scared about whether your relationship will falter when you see him in the cold, sober light of day. Oddly, I've found myself supporting him as I go AF! Thought it was supposed to work the other way, but there it is.
                    "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

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                      #25
                      New person - need a little bit of support...

                      Hi Miss Blossom and welcome! Congratulations on your 3rd (I think I got that right??) sober day. I can relate to SO much of what you have posted. Especially the complete and total inability to have "just one." I was thinking about it recently in the context of alcoholic drinking v. non-alcoholic drinking. My husband is not an alcoholic. He most often chooses to not drink, but the next most frequent number of drinks he has is.....ONE. Not ten or five or twenty....ONE. That realization caused me to think back through my lengthy hard drinking life (from about 17 years old to age 50 - my age last year when I had what I hope is my last drink). I don't recall ANY occassion EVER when I had only one drink. None maybe (and currently!). But once I have one, I really DON'T have a power of choice any more. My only power play is to not drink the first one.

                      I hope your husband can come to understand that problem drinkers (or whatever label you prefer LOL!) are simply not wired the same as people who can easily drink in moderation. Mean time, I will share that my husband wouldn't trade the "new me" for the "old me" for all the tea in China. I'm a far better wife and partner sober than I could even think of being when I was somewhere between hungover and drunk most of the time.

                      Congratulations on your weight management success! If on-line support has worked well for you in that venture, I imagine it will work well in this one too. Congrats too on giving up the smokes - I too did that a little over 2 years ago and am VERY grateful to have that monkey off my back!

                      Anyway, welcome. YOU CAN DO THIS. And it's worth it. At least I think so.

                      DG
                      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                      One day at a time.

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