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Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

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    Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

    Hi to all,
    I have been having health issues for the last month that ended up with a colonoscopy a couple of weeks ago...pun intended. It was fine as were my blood tests. On my follow up with my digestive doctor yesterday, he told me I needed to cut way back on my drinking. I knew that....had managed a whole five or six days when I was so ill I had to see a specialist. It has been the wake-up call I needed. Made me look hard at myself and realize I could change. That I was tired of thinking where my next beer or glass of wine was going to come from. That planning my drinking was a real pain. I am sick of carrying this 20 pounds I have put on in the last two years. I am sick of feeling lousy most of the time.

    Yesterday was easy....I decided I wanted to go without alcohol for a few weeks, maybe forever. I am still determined. I simply am feeling kind of crappy. ~grin~ I took a nap this afternoon because I was so sleepy. I figured that was the best gift I could give my body. I haven't been sleeping well in weeks. I get so hot...may be the alcohol but could also be menopause. I am 47 and had a hysterectomy three years ago. These are kind of new and I am now using a topical natural hormone cream to see if that helps any. I have taken Topamax in the past for another condition. I was even in a drug study for it...not a great experience as I was dosed very heavily. I have had the heaviest side effects from the drug you can imagine. I lost the ability to retrieve words that still can give me problems. That is not going to happen if you are taking the lower doses and with careful titration. I am now on Zonegran..not sure if that has any use with drinking. I know that I have a limited capacity and that may be in part due to the med. I do know that my drinking was not much of an issue when on Topamax. However, I am not sure if I want to go through the experience of switching meds. I think I can do this with the supplements and changing my thinking and support from folks here. I am eating a healthy diet. I have been getting back to exercising. I have been using hypnosis tracks for relaxation and love them. I am interested in getting the cds.

    I am sure I will be writing more in the coming days..heck, hours. This isn't a walk in the park. I am changing a lot of patterns here. I am ready to change them! I read the book The Easy Way to Quit Drinking (might not be the exact title) by Allen Carr last night. That helped a LOT. It is poison. I always knew that...I hated the taste as a kid and teenager. It doesn't seem to taste as good to me after being so ill this month. I was in so much pain on my left side...yeah, not my liver but my GI track. I am doing better and will heal much faster if I keep the alcohol out of my body. That is very motivating.

    Thanks for listening to all of this. I feel very alone. Many of my friends have no idea how much I drink....I have been treated for anxiety/depression/bipolar through the years. I am thinking that the drinking has stepped up in the last two years due to huge changes that I have made in my life. All for the better but they still scared me. I keep evolving new ways of dealing with life and letting go of the drinking is the next one. I have better things to do and want to do them now. I have been so sad today thinking of all the time/energy I have wasted on drink and for what? A big nothing...it just takes and gives nothing good in return. What a joke! I think freedom is on the other side. Reading the posts here helps so much!

    Namaste,
    Kathryn

    #2
    Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

    Welcome!

    You have found the best site in the world, in my opinion, for folks like us. Keep reading and posting. You have a lot of folks sending you strong thoughts. Good luck!:welcome:

    Comment


      #3
      Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

      Hi Mica,
      Thanks so much for the warm welcome! I see that you are a Nia teacher...I was just told about Nia classes and just started to look for a teacher in the central FL area. I love to dance and think they sound like such fun. So cool that is what you do!

      Have a great evening....
      Namaste,
      Kathryn

      Comment


        #4
        Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

        :hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:
        :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
        best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

        Comment


          #5
          Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

          Welcome, You will find plenty of wonderful people here that will help support you in reaching your goals. stay close to the site. Read and post lots. I look forword to getting to know you.
          sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

          Comment


            #6
            Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

            Violet:

            I have been coming in for about a week and have been AF for 8 days. I've ordered the supplements, CD's and Topamax. I may have the order backward and should have waited to stop until the supplements arrive. I'll be fine though. It's that sneaky alcoholic logic at work.

            I can't express how much I've gotten from this and the other forums in the community. I was mostly impressed by the posts from some of the longer term members and then going back and reading their post from months and sometimes years back. It's nothing less than exciting to observe the changes in their personality, their changes from, like me now, despair, struggles self esteem and loneliness. To watch their health both mental and physical evolve. It gave me hope that I can with a good plan and the support of my new friends on this journey find the freedom from AL that I long for.

            In my opinion, the MWO community may well be not only the teacher but the motivator when and if I become weak and keep me headed in the direction I choose to follow.

            All my best wishes and keep writing and reading.

            Blu
            sigpic

            If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. ~ Will Rogers ~

            Comment


              #7
              Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

              Welcome, Violet! You just did the hardest part (making that first post) and the rest is... OK, I won't say it's easy! But we're so glad you're here. Welcome to this warm, wonderful community.

              :goodjob:
              "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

              Comment


                #8
                Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                welcome violet
                what is a nia teacher?
                (i'm so ignorant)
                life is simple its just not easy

                Comment


                  #9
                  Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                  Nia is a dance/movement class that I have been wanting to try. Help get me moving once again. I have been walking but I love to dance. Been looking into bellydancing, too. Only been able to find one teacher so far in the Orlando area. But one teacher is a good start.

                  Thanks to all for such a warm welcome. I have been reading this site for a couple of days. This site has already given me so much help! I have most of the supplements recommended already and have started them. I gave up coffee two weeks ago and now start my day with a protein/green drink with amino acids in it. I am feeling kind of tired today and sad. It hurts to finally face just how much of my life I have been numb to thanks to alcohol. I am now feeling my feelings and that is better. Not always fun but it is better. The feelings pass and change into something better if you give yourself a chance to feel them. If I never feel them...what chance do I have of that happening.

                  This is such a warm and friendly place...I am looking forward to getting to know all of you better. It's nice to be able to be honest with people who understand.

                  Namaste,
                  Kathryn

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                    Hi Violet and :welcome: ! You are now amongst a lot of support, encouragement and any thing else you need that will help you achieve your goals relating to AL. I saw you read the Allen Carr book, have you read the MWO book? It is a great read and full of information.

                    You have taken the first step so be proud of that. Reach out whenever you need someone and someone here will take your hand. I hope to see on more threads and I hope to get to know you better.

                    Welcome again!:l

                    P/S I don't know what Nia is either :upset:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                      We cross-posted Violet. Thanks for explaining the Nia. Welcome, welcome!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                        Kathryn:

                        Thanks for that heartfelt post, its amazing how the support of others does wonders, and this is the right place, filled with amazing wonderful people who are going through the same trials.
                        I relate to almost everything you say, the weight gain, the pain on the left side, hiding it from others.

                        My BF thought I had a thyroid problem because of my weight gain, and I went along with it.

                        Its a worthless waste of time, :welcome: and I look forward to getting to know you.
                        "Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                          I am curious to see just how my body changes in the next six months as it adjusts to not having to process all that alcohol. Sorry body for putting you through all that extra hard work!
                          I think these newer hot flashes are related to the alcohol and my body doing its best to deal with the load. My doctor pointed out a couple of little discolorations on my skin that he said were due to my liver having to work so hard. I have been on some tough meds in recent years that have not made it any easier for my liver. I was silly to think I could drink, also. It was my way of dealing with anxiety and stress. A lousy way. I have found better ways and keep searching for new ones.

                          Yes, I am a reader, too. I am going to be working my way through all the books I have seen recommended on this site. I think nutrition is a huge help in overcoming all health issues. I have "cured" myself of a couple of dis-eases with nutrition and emotional healing. The alcohol trap is one of the last to go. It's amazing how we have been sold this idea that drinking has any benefits. Well, it does disinfect well. And you can burn it. It is a pretty good cleaner, too. Just not sure if we are meant to drink it? What a thought!

                          Thanks so much for all the kind responses!
                          Namaste,
                          Kathryn

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                            From Lush

                            I have to endorse this site too, I discovered it in the very early hours of last Saturday morning - since when I have been AF. I have tried many times to stop, and have gone months, then something happens and I flip. I ended up in A+E and had an operation, this ws over a month ago and I am still off work recovering. The MWO stratgies just seem to make sense to me. I would add that everyone needs to get a sense of their own worth, that the drink does not mean you are a bad person although it does lead you to do very stupid and bad things.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Been Lurking...45 hours AF...Ya'll have helped!

                              Hi Violet!
                              This place is a life saver, I am sure that the support and inspiration you get from everyone here will make your journey so much easier.
                              Good luck and stay close!
                              Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                              Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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