Hi to all,
I have been having health issues for the last month that ended up with a colonoscopy a couple of weeks ago...pun intended. It was fine as were my blood tests. On my follow up with my digestive doctor yesterday, he told me I needed to cut way back on my drinking. I knew that....had managed a whole five or six days when I was so ill I had to see a specialist. It has been the wake-up call I needed. Made me look hard at myself and realize I could change. That I was tired of thinking where my next beer or glass of wine was going to come from. That planning my drinking was a real pain. I am sick of carrying this 20 pounds I have put on in the last two years. I am sick of feeling lousy most of the time.
Yesterday was easy....I decided I wanted to go without alcohol for a few weeks, maybe forever. I am still determined. I simply am feeling kind of crappy. ~grin~ I took a nap this afternoon because I was so sleepy. I figured that was the best gift I could give my body. I haven't been sleeping well in weeks. I get so hot...may be the alcohol but could also be menopause. I am 47 and had a hysterectomy three years ago. These are kind of new and I am now using a topical natural hormone cream to see if that helps any. I have taken Topamax in the past for another condition. I was even in a drug study for it...not a great experience as I was dosed very heavily. I have had the heaviest side effects from the drug you can imagine. I lost the ability to retrieve words that still can give me problems. That is not going to happen if you are taking the lower doses and with careful titration. I am now on Zonegran..not sure if that has any use with drinking. I know that I have a limited capacity and that may be in part due to the med. I do know that my drinking was not much of an issue when on Topamax. However, I am not sure if I want to go through the experience of switching meds. I think I can do this with the supplements and changing my thinking and support from folks here. I am eating a healthy diet. I have been getting back to exercising. I have been using hypnosis tracks for relaxation and love them. I am interested in getting the cds.
I am sure I will be writing more in the coming days..heck, hours. This isn't a walk in the park. I am changing a lot of patterns here. I am ready to change them! I read the book The Easy Way to Quit Drinking (might not be the exact title) by Allen Carr last night. That helped a LOT. It is poison. I always knew that...I hated the taste as a kid and teenager. It doesn't seem to taste as good to me after being so ill this month. I was in so much pain on my left side...yeah, not my liver but my GI track. I am doing better and will heal much faster if I keep the alcohol out of my body. That is very motivating.
Thanks for listening to all of this. I feel very alone. Many of my friends have no idea how much I drink....I have been treated for anxiety/depression/bipolar through the years. I am thinking that the drinking has stepped up in the last two years due to huge changes that I have made in my life. All for the better but they still scared me. I keep evolving new ways of dealing with life and letting go of the drinking is the next one. I have better things to do and want to do them now. I have been so sad today thinking of all the time/energy I have wasted on drink and for what? A big nothing...it just takes and gives nothing good in return. What a joke! I think freedom is on the other side. Reading the posts here helps so much!
Namaste,
Kathryn
I have been having health issues for the last month that ended up with a colonoscopy a couple of weeks ago...pun intended. It was fine as were my blood tests. On my follow up with my digestive doctor yesterday, he told me I needed to cut way back on my drinking. I knew that....had managed a whole five or six days when I was so ill I had to see a specialist. It has been the wake-up call I needed. Made me look hard at myself and realize I could change. That I was tired of thinking where my next beer or glass of wine was going to come from. That planning my drinking was a real pain. I am sick of carrying this 20 pounds I have put on in the last two years. I am sick of feeling lousy most of the time.
Yesterday was easy....I decided I wanted to go without alcohol for a few weeks, maybe forever. I am still determined. I simply am feeling kind of crappy. ~grin~ I took a nap this afternoon because I was so sleepy. I figured that was the best gift I could give my body. I haven't been sleeping well in weeks. I get so hot...may be the alcohol but could also be menopause. I am 47 and had a hysterectomy three years ago. These are kind of new and I am now using a topical natural hormone cream to see if that helps any. I have taken Topamax in the past for another condition. I was even in a drug study for it...not a great experience as I was dosed very heavily. I have had the heaviest side effects from the drug you can imagine. I lost the ability to retrieve words that still can give me problems. That is not going to happen if you are taking the lower doses and with careful titration. I am now on Zonegran..not sure if that has any use with drinking. I know that I have a limited capacity and that may be in part due to the med. I do know that my drinking was not much of an issue when on Topamax. However, I am not sure if I want to go through the experience of switching meds. I think I can do this with the supplements and changing my thinking and support from folks here. I am eating a healthy diet. I have been getting back to exercising. I have been using hypnosis tracks for relaxation and love them. I am interested in getting the cds.
I am sure I will be writing more in the coming days..heck, hours. This isn't a walk in the park. I am changing a lot of patterns here. I am ready to change them! I read the book The Easy Way to Quit Drinking (might not be the exact title) by Allen Carr last night. That helped a LOT. It is poison. I always knew that...I hated the taste as a kid and teenager. It doesn't seem to taste as good to me after being so ill this month. I was in so much pain on my left side...yeah, not my liver but my GI track. I am doing better and will heal much faster if I keep the alcohol out of my body. That is very motivating.
Thanks for listening to all of this. I feel very alone. Many of my friends have no idea how much I drink....I have been treated for anxiety/depression/bipolar through the years. I am thinking that the drinking has stepped up in the last two years due to huge changes that I have made in my life. All for the better but they still scared me. I keep evolving new ways of dealing with life and letting go of the drinking is the next one. I have better things to do and want to do them now. I have been so sad today thinking of all the time/energy I have wasted on drink and for what? A big nothing...it just takes and gives nothing good in return. What a joke! I think freedom is on the other side. Reading the posts here helps so much!
Namaste,
Kathryn
Comment