Extreme Emotions

[angieUK]

I have been AF now for 24 days, (which is a miracle for me!) I just wanted to ask the question if long term withdrawal messes with your emotions or is it me that needs to go for councilling?

Been going along great, been quite proud of myself for a change actually, dont get to be proud of myself very often. But had an incident last night which has scared me a bit.

Me and me Boyf had a bit of a stupid argument, it's quite laughable really, he's on a diet & I said something about wanting a sausage coz of an advert on telly, he said he doesnt point out alcohol ads, I said no but you drink it, hense he disappeared when it came time for his brandy night cap & drank it in secret instead of with me.

(Sorry about this), anyway I went to fetch him back & he told me I was out of order & melodramatic & then I couldnt control my emotions! it all got out of hand, I didnt get violent, I was totally frustrated! it all went inward, I could of quite easily done something terrible to myself, I really really hated/loathed myself so much, & I couldnt blame the booze, I was standing there with knives & pills & windows flashing through my head feeling like I was going to explode stone cold soba:upset:

I did calm down, but I still feel very upset & feel like I need yet another self help book

[startingover]

Extreme Emotions

Hi Angie.
I would say that you are in the very early stages of sobriety and emotions will be all over the place (they were with me) dont forget you have probably spent years abusing your body and mind with alchohol, that isnt going to repair itself in a few weeks. BUT you have come a long way to making good progress.
Also, you have made a HUGE change in your life and are feeling it, BF wont be feeling those changes like you are and I would suspect that maybe you expect him to?
I think its fantastic that you experienced this but you did calm down, you are learning now how to deal with emotions. That takes time.
If you really feel you need counselling go for it, but maybe give yourself a little more time to get used to the new you?
You are doing GREAT!!

[angieUK]

Extreme Emotions

Thank you Starty for your common sense :h & thank you for just making me feel like I'm not loosing my mind xxxxxxx

[angieUK]

Extreme Emotions

Thanks Oney, its scarey like 'I'm not drunk, I'm really feeling this and I cant control it!' I think I will look at councelling coz I really was serious last night, I shocked myself :h:h

[boozehag]

Extreme Emotions

Hi Angie
I was like that too - when you have always used AL to deal with emotions or really to avoid dealing with them when AL is gone there is nowhere to hide from those emotions. I thought I was going to have to go to anger management there for a while but it passes too. I find that exercise and some good music helps. Get out for a walk with an ipod or something or even a punch bag if you dont have any teenagers handy to box their ears. Good for you though on your AF time. BH

[Boss.man]

Extreme Emotions

Yeah, I hit it. Search for a thread called "Hidden Anger".

I found a great solution. Look for L-Theanine, which is an amino acid supplement. It's a normal amino acid found in green tea and considered very safe. I buy a brand called "Suntheanine" which is a chewable tablet. Because it's chewable I can take at night without increasing liquid intake or having to wash down.

You can take Theanine any time, but I find first thing in the morning, and also in the evening seemed to put away my anger just fine. Unlike valerian it doesn't affect seem to make me woozy or affect my memory or judgment. I found it even works when there is midnight noise, like neighbors arguing. It just makes my mind say "that's just another thing" and my mood improves within about 15 minutes and within 25 minutes I'm asleep again.

Something to try. It's rather expensive, maybe $20 for 50 pills, and you need a store that is well stocked for amino acid supplements.

[mooderator]

Extreme Emotions

I was only really drinking to excess on saturday nights. But when I took this feature out of my life, I found I did not have my once weekly "lid off" session , to relax, have fun, get out of it...argue- whatever I needed to do. As a consequence for the first 3 weeks AF I cried every sunday morning for no apparent reason!!! I think its normal to have emotions you were not expecting. i used some aromatherapy things - Lavendar etc. There are some good suggestions above too. Good luck and dont worry you are not going mad

[Popeye]

Extreme Emotions

Hi Angie,
I was a wreck when I stopped drinking. I'd other stuff going on at the time which didn't help my mental state at all, but getting alcohol out of my system pretty soon helped me to see things as they really are and not as my befuddled head imagined. Your mind and thoughts take a while to settle down though. If you can imagine a battlefield after the end of a war; little by little the flowers start to grow back and the grass and the trees take over and after a while you'd never have known that anything but peace could ever have existed there.
Well done on your 24 days.
You'll be counting in months before you know it.

[angieUK]

Extreme Emotions

Thank you boozie, boss, moodie & popeye for all the advice and being there, feel like iv been ran over by a steam roller x but better x and not alone x and more positive x and i cant wait till the flowers start to take over then the trees :h & its still worth it waking up knowing I didnt let a drop of poison past me lips x I'm gonna have a look at the hidden anger thread too x

[Evie.Lou]

Extreme Emotions

Hang In there Angie, I think you are just adjusting to life without AL. Feel proud that you are allowing yourself to feel instead of numbing your emotions with a bottle of POISON. This phase will pass and the reality of living a FREE and SOBER life will make it worth the little FLARE UPS of early soberity........I PROMISE !!!

[angieUK]

Extreme Emotions

Thank you Evie :h I'm gonna hang in there xxxxxxx you all have been so brilliant, this morning I thought I needed to be locked up in the loonie bin :H (hysterical laugh) a lot better now thanks to you guys xxx

[startingover]

Extreme Emotions

How are you doing today Angie?

[angieUK]

Extreme Emotions

Hello starty xxx feeling a lot better now I know I'm not crackers xxx thank you so much x I took 3 Natrasleeps before I went to bed & got a proper nights sleep x I have bought a couple of self help books :blush: couple of issues I need to look at xxxxxxx

I dont know what I would do without you guys :h :l I am learning that this is going to take a lot longer than I thought it would x and there are probably a lot more suprises waiting for me, so I'm not to get cocky & I'm not to forget to TAKE ODAT because each one may be completely different from the last.

:lilheart::h

[startingover]

Extreme Emotions

Good attitude Angie, we are all "work in progresses" here. I have been sober for almost a year and clean from drugs for almost 6 months, I am still learning to live the life I want.
One thing I am 100% sure of tho, is that I am on the right track and I will never give up.