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**tlrgs** · May 26, 2009, 01:19 PM

One more try!

first i would say who care what other think if you dont drinks or not..this is for you not them.. so get with it and do your best not for them but for yourself ... stay strong and keep thinking positive

**Joemero** · May 26, 2009, 01:23 PM

One more try!

I am really good at coming up with excuses all the time, in order to have a drink. I'm tired of it. This coming weekend is going to be hard, but I'm NOT going to drink. I'm going to try to be strong! MY biggest problem is I'm writing this now, because of my conscience and I'm hungover and I know that in 3-4 days of being AF, when I feel strong and healthy again, I will convince myself that I do not have a problem. That's when I fall again.

**stashia** · May 26, 2009, 01:40 PM

One more try!

Oh joemero we all do the same thing but one day it may be too late too much damage may be done and we may not feel healthy and strong again thats why we are here fighting the beast and trigs is right you are doing it for you and the rest of your life! i wish you luck stay on here and keep posting and keep reading luv s.x

**LilBit** · May 26, 2009, 01:49 PM

One more try!

Hi Joe, and welcome! It seems that you have the answer to your own issue, if you will listen to your words. Even though you feel terrible today, the reason you "laugh at what you were writing" come Thursday or Friday is that you want to think it's the "other people" who have a problem. In other words, as long as you deny the problem, it doesn't exist. Boy, who hasn't felt that way!

No one here will judge you. I can tell you that it's possible to continue in this state of mind for a long time until either A) the pain of staying in the same pattern becomes worse than the pain of changing it or B) you totally wreck your life & lose everything you have. I have seen both, and many degrees in between. I sense that you are one of the smart, courageous ones who can stop before it gets too bad, simply because you took the leap of posting your concerns.

Also, you're worried that people will perceive you as abnormal or as having an AL problem if you don't drink. It might help you to see the stats about AL consumption "norms." I'm not sure what part of the world you're in, but here are the US statistics:

According to the CDC, in 2006 (most recent year with data available), 75% of adults age 18 and over in the United States had used alcohol at some point in their lives. 61% were current drinkers, meaning that 14% were former drinkers who had made the decision to stop using alcohol. The remaining 25% of the population were lifelong abstainers.

This data shows that 39% of people in the US do not currently consume AL. I find it hard to believe that anyone would think you were 'abnormal' or 'had a problem' because you're in the 39% who abstain from drinking. Many people do not notice or care what you have in your glass.

Whenever you're ready to abstain or moderate your consumption, whether it's right now or down the road, MWO is a great resource, and the people who post on these boards are caring, considerate individuals from all walks of life who are ready to help you on your journey. There's no single "right way" or answer for everyone, but please just know that you have friends here, myself included.

What works for some is to jot down a vivid description of how awful you feel today and look at it the next time you feel tempted.

Good luck!

LB

**Joemero** · May 26, 2009, 03:18 PM

One more try!

Thanks for the kind words LilBit. Well I'm definetly starting to go AF today. Starting to feel a little better after a lunch and a little nap. I will keep posting to show my progress. Thanks everyone!

**Joemero** · May 26, 2009, 04:46 PM

One more try!

Now I got to deal with my wife giving me the cold shoulder this evening due to my binge this weekend. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm going to quit. But this time, I'm really serious, which is why I'm posting here. I guess I deserve that though.

**myprivateme** · May 26, 2009, 04:46 PM

One more try!

tell your boss you are on medication...invent something if need be...but stay AF if that is your choice

xx from your Angel

**myprivateme** · May 26, 2009, 04:49 PM

One more try!

Joemero;622208 wrote: Now I got to deal with my wife giving me the cold shoulder this evening due to my binge this weekend. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm going to quit. But this time, I'm really serious, which is why I'm posting here. I guess I deserve that though.

yes you deserve that! make up with your wife BIG TIME...she will only believe you when you believe you....x Angel

**Joemero** · May 26, 2009, 07:42 PM

One more try!

Just after a few hours, I'm starting to feel better, and little thoughts of, "I really don't have a problem" are starting to creep in again. I'm thinking I can probably drink in moderation during the weekend. Then I just got off the phone with a friend who said, "that's allright, you can have a drink now and then, to relax, have a good time." Too many triggers, but I'm staying strong. I'm not drinking today, that's what counts, but with everyday I start feeling better I know I'll think that I have no need to be on here. Its sad but true. Hopefull I can stay on. Wondering if AA would be a good option for me.

**Lavande** · May 26, 2009, 08:19 PM

One more try!

Hi Joe,

It sounds like it's time for you to make a firm commitment to quit and just do it!!!!

Read the MWO book again, make your plan and commit yourself to it. You can think about it, you can talk about it, now it's time to just do it......you won't be sorry.
Look at it this way, one week from now you will feel good and also feel proud of yourself. Your wife will be happy with you and for you as well. It's a win win situation.

It's up to you - we're here to support & encourage you but you have to make the leap

Wishing you the best.

**ronnie** · May 26, 2009, 08:28 PM

One more try!

Hi Joemero & welcome,
When I first came here all I wanted to do (so I thought) was to cut down on my drinking, well it worked for the first couple of times but then I was back to how I used to be. People here were telling me that it might be a good idea if I went A/F for 30 days then moderate my drinking, at first I could'nt see how that would work but then something in my head clicked and I am now 17 days A/F and I am planning to go the whole 30 days and then take it from there, I am not saying that it is easy but the support that I get from this site is tremendous and there is no way that I would of got this far without everyone here.
At the moment if I am invited out for a drink, I either drive so I cant drink or I make out that I am busy on that day especially if I am feeling a bit weak at that time.
It might be a good idea (for now anyway) just to changed your lifestyle for a while and take yourself away from any tempation of drink.
Try and keep busy and read & post alot on this site, we are all here for you, and once your wife can see that you are really trying she will love you loads and start to respect you, I know this as my hubby always gave me the cold shoulder after a drinking binge but now he is like a different person. But he has proberbly always been the same person I think its me that has changed for the better being A/F.
You know you can do this and you know you can beat this too. just try it for 30 days and see how it goes!!!
Thinking of you
love ronnie xx

**Joemero** · May 26, 2009, 08:46 PM

One more try!

Thanks everyone, I'm definetly going to try hard...I have 3 kids and my wife that deserve better. I'm going to take it ODAT and focus on the 30 days for starters. :thanks: BTW my wife is still giving me the cold shoulder right now, but I know that actions will speak louder than words and soon she will be very happy with me.

**Goodfella** · May 27, 2009, 04:07 AM

One more try!

Hi Joe

When I read your initial post I identified with absolutely everything you are (have) been going through, and at the same time in my life I could not see anyway out of the situation I was in.
However there is a way out and if one wants it that bad it is (I promise ) possible as long as you are willing to go to any length to achieve sobriety.

It may sound selfish but you have to put yourself and your sobriety first and fourmost before anything, you mentioned your wife and the situation you are in, but once she sees you working on your sobriety as you rightly said...One Day At A Time it will all work out.

From my first ever meeting it took me 5 years to finally put the drink down, thats how it had to be, some people put it down in a much shorter time, but it isn't a race its just how far you are willing to go, I would not give in at first but when I was ready it was like an explosion in my life, I embraced everything i could about living sober and although it was a hour at a time for me at the start I soon began to listen and take things in for the first time in my life.

One Day At A Time, take it easy and keep it simple easy words to say but nontheless so very true.

Keep you chin up Joe and let us know how you get on.

Keep the faith fella.

**gyco** · May 27, 2009, 06:45 AM

One more try!

hi joe mero,your a very fortunate person,you realise you have a problem,ive been doing what your trying,for 10 years now,after many years of Al abuse,it caught up to me,the brain rebelled,but even with that,its still a battle,it will never stop being a battle,even in sobriety,why do you think all these folks come hear,we need something to engulf are life,better here then drink or drug,over the last while ive been reading a lot,cant work,health reasons,naturally from abusing myself,or my body,not all from the Al,it is possible to moderate,but i tend to beleive are kind will always fault er,but then thats from experience i guess,remember thew people that say,or who you assume believe you can only have a few,dont have to wake in your body the next day,or week or month,i could go on,you no what i mean,great bunch of people here,trust me,WE no where your at,who knows a chronic drinker better then a chronic drinker,i wish you well,when the weekend comes,and if your brain so desires that drink,which you and i no it wont be just a few,think about us,will be here gyco

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