I just wanted to post about my experience the past couple of months.........I found your forum back in January, where I posted my background story. Lifes been tough the past couple of years and the drink has really taken over my life. I felt I was at rock bottom, and really wanted change. I received some fantastic words of encouragement from really kind people on here and I decided - this is it I'm making a big change in my life. Unfortunatley, the choice I made was to "cut down" (agian) and monitor the situation (I still didn't believe I had that big of a problem).
The reality was, the way I felt in January was no where near rock bottom...that was still to come. Things have actually gone from bad to worse, which I imagined impossible! I managed to get sneakier on the hiding front, more tolerant on the intake front, a better liar on the denying it front. Bad, bad times.
2 weeks ago things were at their worst... I got drunk in work, totally wrecked at home, drove with drink, sneaked drinks in a friends house (and fell asleep at 7pm, in a house full of sobar people :blush lost my phone and was told it was over by my partner....I could go on with the cringe worthy events, but you can well imagine...
As I said my first post, I live in another country from my family. So last Monday I booked a flight home and decided to start facing up to my problems. I told my parents what had been going on, and this time was completely honest. I couldn't believe the support and understanding, they really had no idea it was so bad. I had made the telling them into another big deal which allowed me to drown my sorrows. I talked things through and I understand there is no other way but to STOP drinking altogether or risk losing everything I have worked for. Life is always going to throw sad, bad and hard times at us, but by me turning to drink - things are 10 times worse, and before I know it my life will be over.
Today I went to my first meeting, I was sooo scared I thought I was going to be sick. It turned out there were three other women my age (27) and so like me!! It felt reassuring to know I'm not alone
So today really is the beginning of an enormous change in my life. I'm back at my own home, my partner has given me another chance. I have been honest with everyone, parents, close friends and partners family - everyone has been so good.
I know the road ahead is going to be tough and don't expect to sail things - but the real difference this time is I have been honest and open with everyone inc myself. That feels soo good.
Well thats my update...this time I'll be sticking around on the forum as I know the more support I get the more chance I have of succeeding
Thanks for listening, looking forward to chatting and sharing stories.
Nics
(2days Sober )
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