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    #16
    Need Inspiration

    I am sorry about your experience on your vacation, but I do understand. Going forward is the BEST thing to do

    Enjoy your walk and reflection time. I love my reflection time. Keep posting and don't ever think you need to shut up. It's what we are here for!

    Big Hugs :l

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      #17
      Need Inspiration

      IMHO, we do not think all that good when we are drunk on a regular basis. Not only when drinking but between bouts.

      My head has cleared immensely in the last 30 days AF. And a lot of things that really used to p*ss me off, are now just a minor annoyance.

      Emotional stability is also part of the equation, at least for me.

      Glad you are here.

      com1
      Com1

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        #18
        Need Inspiration

        Ok...here are some

        My kids want to be around me again

        My kids will be in the car with me again

        My kids havent seen me drunk in over 6 months (i have drank but not around them)

        My son said to me the other day "you havent drank in 50 years"..well im not even 50 years old but i get the point to his 10 year old head its been a long time

        I have fulfilling relationships with people

        Im not totally sober but i fill my life with many alcohol preventing events like seeing my kids or driving or work (all of which i am determined not to drink prior to doing)

        Take it one day at a time

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          #19
          Need Inspiration

          Takeheart....
          It can sound trite and as if I'm just kidding myself when I say that I'm happier sober but I really am.
          Now, I like being me. I used to hate myself. There was nothing about me that I could look at and be proud of...or even like a little.
          I'm finding new things to like on a regular basis. The fact that I can control my drinking, whereas in the past I couldn't is something I am becoming very proud of. Last night as I slipped between my bedsheets, I was smiling and giggling like a fool because I had beaten it for another day. Really simple things make me happy, like passing the boozeshop and remembering the time when I would be scraping under the cushions on the sofa for the change I needed for another bottle. I can't remember the last time I spewed. My grandchildren have never seen me drunk the way my children did. I jump out of bed every morning and look forward to whatever the day brings. Good or bad, I know that I can handle it. It's been a long, hard fight and it's not over yet, but it's feels great to have all that guilt and remorse and the feelings of dependancy,gone.
          It really is wonderful!

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            #20
            Need Inspiration

            TakeHart, that's probably the voice you hear. I heard that loud and clear long ago but couldn't follow it. It has more to say but you you simply can't hear it with a fuzzy head. Without AL, I feel more connected, in tune. I feel reassurance in my place in life, and believe me it's a wierd place at the moment, but it's OK. I know if I can listen, I'll be better able to hear the guidance in the journey. I'm happy to be able explore spirituality now.
            sigpic
            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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              #21
              Need Inspiration

              Without AL I feel happy for no good reason. My good friend, Ronnie, on The Next Day Thread told me that I used to be always happy and laughing and now I don't laugh anymore. That was because I'd slipped up and gone back to the wine. That comment kept reverberating around in my head. I'm now back to 7 Days AF and I truly am starting to feel happy again.

              AL took away my happiness because the next day I would be filled with shame and regret for many things I did while drinking, including not remembering things, losing half the next day and having to wonder if it was ok for me to drive yet, as in was I under the limit?

              Now I can just get in the car anytime of the day or night I want, spend more quality time with my dogs, enjoy the beach, instead of being too hungover to do anything and generally just enjoy life, even if that means just a relaxing day at home.

              And most importantly, being able to remember the phone conversation or whatever, I had last night and my friends telling me how proud they are of me.
              Feb 04 2009 80 days AF.
              AF May 23 09 to July 09
              AF December 16, 09 FORWARD.

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                #22
                Need Inspiration

                Thank you

                Thank you for this post. I had a lot of success a year ago. Then, I fell back into my old ways. I came here today, looking for inspiration to get started again. I am so glad I stumbled onto this post. It reminded me of all the good things I felt during my AF days. I currently have a long list of "all time highs". They are not good ones. My weight is at an all time high. My body fat is at an all time high. My depression and self-loathing are at an all time high. I could continue the laundry list, but it is pretty sad and boring. I want to change this list of highs to real, meaningful stuff. Thanks for all the insightful comments and encouragement!
                "PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!" USMC

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                  #23
                  Need Inspiration

                  Hi Pan & Shelby,

                  I knew you were going to be OK Pan - I proud of you and happy for you
                  There really is so much freedom that goes along with being AF.

                  Shelby, I sincerely hope we can all inspire you to get back on the wagon with us. There's plenty of room here and no shortage of support & encouragement. You've had success in the past, you know you can do it again.

                  I look forward to spending more time with my new grandson this weekend - he is my inspiration

                  Stay well.
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Need Inspiration

                    Thanks for all the great posts. I've really been pondering on all which has led me to realizing (or admitting) that I don't like myself right now and maybe giving up the drink would change that. Also, I too, used to be really happy, so much that someone called me a pollyanna (not that I ever want to be seen as one again, but I was truly just so happy in life). However, this was MANY years ago. No one would acuse me of this today, but suddenly it doesn't seem so bad. I want to like myself. I want to be happy again. As well as everything else you all have said. Can't thank you enough for giving some serious food for thought.

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                      #25
                      Need Inspiration

                      Nedd Inspiration

                      I dont embarrass my family and friends by "trying" to be the life of the party.
                      I like how I dont get the funny looks-like people are trying to tell if Im drunk or sober.
                      Being able to remember dates, appointments, concerts, graduations,promises made...
                      I've fallen off again-pretty bad this time. But I like that clear headedness, being in a good mood, not feeling rundown and groggy...I liked those things so much I'm going to keep trying..

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                        #26
                        Need Inspiration

                        Jane Jane: Tell me how long did it take you to learn to moderate. I've been a one bottle a night woman for 5-6 years now. I would like more but just won't let myself get that out of control. It's my lover as well. I've managed 2-3 weeks, drank one night, gone back to 2-3 weeks, but then give up and just start drinking every day again. How did you do it? I need help. Thanks Baja Chic

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                          #27
                          Need Inspiration

                          Oh BajaChick, SO sorry I/m just now seeing this! It's been a super-busy early summer with the girls back home and a TON of weddings/parties going on. Fun, but!

                          I wish I could answer your question with specifics! Read my "story" in "Tell Us You..." and that's about as close as I can come to explaining.

                          I don't moderate quite as well some weeks, recently (as I said, all those parties) but it remains the Gold Standard for my life, and if I have a bit more than I "allow" myself one Saturday, I get stricter, and try to never beat myself up, nor lose sight of the real goal---lifelong moderation, some AF weeks, some mild indulgences here and there. For me, that's the definition of "normal" . I'd give myself about a B+, and refuse to beat myself up for not being A+ all the time!

                          Best of luck to you!
                          Jane Jane

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                            #28
                            Need Inspiration

                            Hello! I'm doing a sucky job at this. I had to go back to my original post because it did give me a life line...for awhile. Just went through and read Doggy Girl's post on My story. Very inspirational and highly recommend it to those who haven't already. However, as for me. Did okay for awhile, but now am sinking fast. Back to old habits of drinking WAY too much. I find myself always saying..."tomorrow i will start". How did you all just...START? How do I know if I should moderate or quit? Head says that maybe I'll quit for a bit then moderate, as I can't picture my life w/o alcohol. Intuition says "I am an alcoholic and need to stop now". But, wait. I wasn't supposed to end up and alcoholic. I'm sad, confused, and quite frankly feeling a little out of control. Help me, please.

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                              #29
                              Need Inspiration

                              AND...(sorry just need to reach out to someone and I haven't told anyone I personally know of my problem )...look at me freakin' join date! December 2007!!!!! And I knew the problem in my heart even before then! How many years, how much time?! You'd think this would make a normal person want to make somes changes. And i do, too. It's just always tomorrow.

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                                #30
                                Need Inspiration

                                Maybe you could try for the 30 days TakeHeart.
                                Take a few days to get a plan together about how to handle the urges that will come and just do it, but you must have a conviction. It may wear away after a while but keep it as strong as you can for as long as you can. I always remember to point out to myself that I'm not punishing myself (though I have been conditioned to feel like I am). By getting control I am doing myself a great service and after a while I didn't need to point it out. It's obvious. Then decide what you want from your next 30 days. It's hard to find the right balance but if you keep trying you will find it.
                                Good luck.

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