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**greeneyes** · May 28, 2009, 08:13 PM

Need Inspiration

One important thing for me is my inner voice. The voice of my higher self, my spirit guide, higher consciousness, whatever one wishes to call it. I can hear it now. I think that's a pretty good REAL moment, so I'll leave it at that.

**jane jane** · May 28, 2009, 08:23 PM

Need Inspiration

Takeheart, I think the main thing I love about the moderate-drinking life is that I'm rid of the shame. The hiding of bottles. The getting extra cash-back at the supermarket so no telltale wine purchases show up on credit card or debit statements. Having nothing to hide is bliss. I didn't realize how much WORK drinking secretly was.

Because we are financially comfortable, and I have my own bit of money, I never considered the actual cost---but multiply $15 (price of my daily large bottle) times 30 days in a month, and---that's $450 I'm not pouring down my throat any more!

I drink like a normal person now---maybe 3-4 glasses a week, just on the weekend. That was my dream, and I think I've achieved it for good. You can, too. I failed SO many times before, because I honestly was in love with wine. It was my best friend and lover!

I still love it. It's still a friend. But...just one I see only occasionally.

I wish for you this same blessed liberation from the obsession. Get a few weeks of moderation under your belt, and you will never look back.

**colbe** · May 28, 2009, 08:26 PM

Need Inspiration

Well, I have a little over 24 hours. It sucks big time (so far) and I am eating everything in the house...BUT today I drove somewhere and it would have been impossible to get a DUI...now on a normal day I instinctivly dodge the cops, just incase. Good luck to you.

**TakeHeart** · May 28, 2009, 08:26 PM

Need Inspiration

Green Eyes, thanks so much for responding.

However...please don't leave it at that. I know I'm a PIA...my dad said I drove him crazy always asking "why" which ...I guess some things never change.

But...as much as I hate to ask...what is it that you're hearing that you couldn't before. For someone not in your position, I hear a voice telling me not to waste my life drinking as much as I do...so am I hearing it too?

I feel like a five year old and am so sorry about that. Thank God this is anonymous or I would never have the courage to ask.

Thanks and so sorry again for being a PIA.

**LilBit** · May 28, 2009, 08:28 PM

Need Inspiration

Hi TH, how about, after almost 30 days AF...

- Today, I went to put on makeup and realized that I hardly need it anymore. The dark spots and puffiness I used to cover up are gone.

- Before, I woke at 3 am every night like clockwork, curled in a tight little ball, thirsty as all-get-out, and full of anxiety. Sometimes, it would take hours to go back to sleep and i would often have terrible dreams. Now, I sleep through the night almost every night and wake up feeling actually rested. The bad dreams are gone. Last night, I dreamed I was walking thru rooms FULL of chocolate! The night before, I was writing lyrics for a rock band.

- I lost 6 lbs. in three weeks without changing anything else, and while actually eating more. Sounds crazy, but food tastes better, and I enjoy it more.

- I no longer cringe when I hear the recycle bin being emptied of the weekend bottles.

- I'm saving approximately $1200 per month from not drinking (out and at home). That's $14,400 USD annually. That's a NICE vacation in the Caribbean. Or new wardrobe. Or _______ (you fill in the blank).

- Here's a BIG one for me. When I drank wine every night, I was passed out in bed by 8:30-9 pm, and up at 6. Now, I stay up until 10-12 every night, still get up at 6 (sometimes 5), and feel completely alert all day. In other words, I have 3-4 extra hours of my LIFE back every day!!

- I can hold my hand out in front of me and it's steady.

- I care about things again -- like keeping my condo super-clean, showing up for events when people invite me, doing small things for others...

I could go on, and I hope to have much more to report after my second 30 days. 'Hope this gives you some food for thought. It really IS worth it!!!

**Lemonhead** · May 28, 2009, 08:28 PM

Need Inspiration

Okay - two specific examples:

I know I didn't do anything stupid last night and I know I won't do anything stupid tonight. I wake up with a sense of aniticpation (almost like I'm looking forward to a great date) and now that my brain is functioning better I know there's the possibility of change.

That's better than I've felt in years.

**LilBit** · May 28, 2009, 08:35 PM

Need Inspiration

Colbe, let yourself eat, and don't worry about it. It will pass. I think it's GREAT you made it 24 hours!!! That's the hardest part. And however much it feels "sukky" just think how much worse an orange jumpsuit after a DUI would feel right now!

**choppersmom** · May 28, 2009, 08:44 PM

Need Inspiration

Hi Takeheart! You have gotten some great inspiration already! Insight that I will use too. Thank you for starting this thread and asking for this inspiration.

My specific example for you is how much I am learning to like myself and trying to conquer my shyness without AL. I enjoy my dogs a lot more! Most importantly, my grandson will never see his grandma drunk, buzzed, hungover...and that is what I will always cherish. I am not completely AF, but I am well on my way.

**Lavande** · May 28, 2009, 08:50 PM

Need Inspiration

I can give you many examples but here's the most important one:

I now have complete access to my new grandson.
I was told that if I didn't quit drinking, I would never see him - that would have killed me..................

**LilBit** · May 28, 2009, 08:51 PM

Need Inspiration

Choppers, if you've ever had the reproving look and/or the ~deep sigh~ from your DOG, you know what a low point that is! I found myself shy on AL as well, but boy, am I growing a set of... ahem... kahonis now! I always feel a tear well up when I read how devoted you are to your grandson. It's so great!

Takeheart, there was one more example I meant to give you. Please consider it, even though it's a bit superficial. Last night, I met some people for dinner that I hadn't seen in a month. I wasn't wearing anything new or particularly nice, and had not changed my hair or appearance in any way. When they first saw me, one of the people literally took a step backward, gasped, and said, "OMG, you're GORGEOUS!" I haven't heard that in a long time. Looks aren't everything, but, at my (undisclosed) age, it was pretty cool.

**TakeHeart** · May 28, 2009, 08:53 PM

Need Inspiration

OMG... I am literally crying right now...maybe I'm doing one of those stupid things. I always try to make it seem better..."It's my birthday! I'll do whatever I want today"

But... as I sit here,

I have a bottle hidden and make sure I throw the receipts out when I leave the store

I would NOT feel comfortable driving somewhere (as the state agrees because they passed legislation against it)...even if there is an emergency (which my boyfriend, who doesn't have a drinking problem and isn't clued into mine, just called to let me know that his Uncle unfortunately just died and he's looking into flights...uh, honey, if you want a ride to the airport..can we make it tomorrow?)

And this I know...the money and time!! Although, I never put the money into the idea of a vacation. Hmmm.....so true.

This is what I need and I really appreciate it. XOXO

**LilBit** · May 28, 2009, 08:55 PM

Need Inspiration

OMG, Lavande, just when I stopped tearing up over Choppers grandson remark! Stop it, grandmas! You're making me sniffle and Joe-dog is all concerned.

**choppersmom** · May 28, 2009, 08:58 PM

Need Inspiration

Takeheart! I have been in your situation. A few years back when my son got his driver's license my mom and I decided to celebrate with wine. Well, she went home, my son went out driving and I got smashed! What would I have done if something had happened to him? It is the worst feeling in the world for me to not be sober to help someone.

I hope you don't take this as harsh, as that is not how it is meant. I was just giving you another one of my own inspirations....I can help when needed night or day!

You can do this and we are all here to help you!!!

p/s LaVande, you got tears into my eyes too. I love being a grandma!

**TakeHeart** · May 28, 2009, 09:06 PM

Need Inspiration

Okay. okay...I'll shut up for awhile...

Just one more comment....

Choppersmom...I don't have kids of my own, but last year we took a family vacation and I ended up in my nieces and nephews room (early teens) with no memory of how I got there. I didn't ask a lot of questions, but I know my niece took me there. Ugh...what a horrible example!!!!! So mad at myself, but can only go forward. Kinda put that in the back of my mind, but...

how nice it would be for my nieces and nephews never to see blotto again!!

Can't thank you all enough. Going to go on a walk and think about everything you given me to ponder....

I feel more hopeful.

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