Need Inspiration

[universal]

Need Inspiration

Hi Take Heart,

My join date was November2007 and I am just figuring out how to do my first 30 days now. How did I start? I had 2 nights 21 days ago where I was drinking beer and just didn't stop. My BF said to me "honey, I don't like telling you this and it's your life but you have a problem".

For me the fact that he came out and said something to me after 3 years together when he's kept it quiet for so long scared me. I don't want to lose my family over something as stupid as alcohol. Do I want to moderate? Hell yes, I would love to be able to just have a beer after work or a glass of wine with dinner. Will I be able to? I don't know yet, haven't got that far. I do know that after 21 days my mindset has really changed, I look better (like LIL Bit said earlier, don't need that makeup in the morning anymore), I feel better, I know I haven't called anyone, or made a fool of myself, I'm sleeping better and I am able to better respond to my daughter then before. I started becasue I made a conscious decision to do one week AF to prove to myself and my BF that I could do it. That week has now turned into 21 days.

I don't know if that helps or not but just keep fighting - took me a year and a half to get this far - I figured basically I need to control this or I will die - simple as that.

Take care,
Uni

[Evie.Lou]

Need Inspiration

For me the BEST part of being sober is the feeling of not being CONTROLLED by something outside of myself. I don't HAVE to be a slave to were the next "HIGH" is going to come from. I have a sense of inner power over my world and a deep feeling of peace that was never there when AL was boss !!!
I have more energy and know that I will live a longer more productive life without the poison running thru my blood stream !!!
Being sober is an emotional "HIGH" that no substance ever gave me.

[TakeHeart]

Need Inspiration

Popeye, Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my cry for help. You are right, 30 days I can try with a ? after that. I am in such a bad place right now. I am to meet my BF's childhood friends who are in town in just a few hours. I'm drunk and crying b/c I feel out of control. Not only have I not worked today (I work from home), but I subcumbed to my craving and went to buy a big bottle of wine this morning. Plan was to have a few glasses and hide the rest for upcoming holiday weekend (my BF doesn't drink nearly as much, so sometimes I need to "fill-in" so we are on the same page). Well, my whole day so far has been drinking and surfing the net as to why I drink so much. I'm really disgusted with myself.

However, I thank you for your reply. Like I said, this board is my only outlet. Any suggestions as to making "tomorrow"; "today"? Because I'm always going to start tomorrow.

[Popeye]

Need Inspiration

p.s.
My join date...20th November 2006 and I'm only just starting to see the fruits.
It is worth the tears and the effort.

[TakeHeart]

Need Inspiration

Universal and Evie....can't thank you enough for the support. Universal, my BF just said to me the other night that he didn't think it was normal fro someone to drink as much wine as I do (oh...if he only knew what he doesn't know!)...so I hear you.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I draw such inspiration as to what can be if i can only make it through the black veil.

Need to get ready for this evening, but good night to all. May our sleep be bliss and the next day sober!

[TakeHeart]

Need Inspiration

I have come to the realization that I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THIS FOR ME. I certainly appreciate words of inspiration!!!! And, personal experiences from others who have gotten to "the other side" and how they ENJOY it. But, I think maybe I was looking for something that would be too easy. That wouldn't require too much from me. An easy way out. But, the light bulb went off...it's MY way out...not the EASY way out.

I have no idea what that will look like, except now I have a chipped front tooth from a 4th of July party which I drank too much as a rememberence that I WANT OUT! I read messages for atleast an hour everyday lately. I don't post too much for others because I feel as though I have nothing to offer except that I can relate to others still struggling and wish to be one of those who are not.

I am going to visit my sick father next week. Last year while visiting, he asked me if I was an alcoholic. So...I won't drink...I won't...I won't (talking to myself, here) while I visit him. I want him to be proud of me. Crazy thing is, I'm flying home first class and I already feel as though I'll cave at this point...free drinks and assuming I have not drank in 5 days??? I already feel as though I won't be able to overcome it.

Sorry for the long post. And, when I feel as though I have something to offer, I will respond to other posts more, but I am reading and praying for all of us each and every night.

Although my big insight is that I am the only one to do this for myself. I DO continue to seek and enjoy inspiration from you all. Most notably as of recent, I can't get over how different and better "My Time to Quit" from Hawaii (oops, I don't know if I got that right) sounds now that he isn't drinking.

I appreciate you all...just wish I had more to offer at this time.

[The New Me]

Need Inspiration

Five days??? You must feel like million bucks.

Working from home is hard - I have done that and started a day with wine, like you, thinking "no one will know"

Keep fighting - you know if you will be able to just have one on the plane. By the way, I was alwyas jealous and amused by people who ordered orange juice in the first class cabin!

[TakeHeart]

Need Inspiration

LOL! I think you misunderstood, New Me. I haven't left yet. But, I hope you are right and I'll feel like a million bucks after 5 days AF!!! I'll let you know!

[TakeHeart]

Need Inspiration

NEED INSPIRATION? Go to the Just starting out.... Help scare me/us thread!

[National]

Need Inspiration

TakeHeart - I'm on day 2. I also question "what's on the other side" as I have been doing this for 10 years now. My take on why to stop this nonsense...I'm being controlled and I'm tired of it. "The only true freedom is freedom from the heart's desires"...this song lyric keeps coming to mind. My family drinks, my wife drinks, my friends drink, my boss drinks, my neighbor drinks, on and on. I don't have anybody telling me to quit. I'm just tired of being tired and want to find that excitement I used to have before I started to drink. I'm excited to reinvent myself. Maybe a different spin on things...but just my thoughts. National

[sunshine_gg]

Need Inspiration

National, the 'other side' isn't without work, frustration, problems, etc. either. It's still 'LIFE'.

But here are some observations about the other side:

1. There is no self-loathing
2. There is no "What exactly happened last night? How and when did I get to bed?"
3. There IS a sense of accomplishment. Every day.
4. There IS a sense of pride, of self esteem.

And, eventually, there is a shift in thinking. There is an almost pitiful and dismissive smile in answer to 'that voice' - yep, it still calls at times. But with each day it becomes less believable, less relevant.

There's no doubt 'the other side' is a much better place to be. Let's head on over there, ok?

[TakeHeart]

Need Inspiration

Hey National what song has those lyrics? I just can't figure it out.

I, too, want lose the feeling of being controlled by something I don't want to be. I also have friends, family (my dad being the exception), coworkers, etc that drink and aren't harping on me to quit. Even my BF who isn't a big drinker enables me. I know he loves me, but asking if I want him to bring home a bottle of wine FOR ME doesn't really help.

I know I am the only one resposible for me, as you are you. I can't do it for you, nor you for me. BUT! I will help in anyway I can. I will soon be follwing in your footsteps of AF. Please let me know how you are coping with everyone else drinking around you. Do you think we need new friends? Any advice on what to say to my BF/

[TakeHeart]

Need Inspiration

Hey, Sunshine! Don't know if this is true for you as well, but I look forward to not having to check my cell phone to see who I've talked and for how long!

[sunshine_gg]

Need Inspiration

It's tough talking to your partner, TakeHeart. I have a wonderful, understanding partner but still find it hard.

1. Does your b/f know how serious your problem is?
2. Does he know that YOU are serious about making changes?
3. Are you comfortable with him knowing either or both of the above?
4. Do you think he will/would support your effort?

After finding out the things above you should be able to decide whether you want to ask him to keep AL out of the house.

Good luck!

[sunshine_gg]

Need Inspiration

:eeks:

DUI. Dialing under the Influence. I am SO guilty.