Hey Guys,
Well today is 7 days AF for me and I thought I'd post with the goings on of the past week.
So, this time last week I started all over again and embarked on taking back my life after a turbulent past few years. What a week of ups and downs. After the initial optimism of 'starting a fresh' I found the following days were pretty tough. Physically I was all really out of sorts. Sleep was erratic, moods all over the place; cold/hot sweats in bed, generally feeling crap.
I attended my first meeting on Wed and was sooo nervous; I still believed I didn't have that 'big' a problem. I am ashamed to say; when I walked into that meeting I believed I would be the only 'normal' one. I had a vision of down and outs and alcoholic probationers.....I thought myself above that. The reality....a mixed group of people my age (27), older and younger from all walks of life. The room was full of 'normal' people, and I then realised, what I really knew deep down all along - I am an alcoholic. No more excuses / reasoning out of it. I came out of that meeting feeling drained - but optimistic and like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The secret was out.
The following couple of days were tough. The initial optimism turned to anxiety and a real sense of hopelessness. I also felt angry....why can I not control/moderate this one part of my life? I had a couple of 'not fair' feeling sorry for myself days :blush: This was closely followed by a chain of neurotic thoughts where I convinced myself I would never be able to go to a wedding, party, BBQ - any event and enjoy it EVER again. My friends wouldn't understand and see me as the 'dry' one. On hindsight this is quite a ridculous thought - but boy did I believe it at the time. Thank fully I had MWO to post on and you guys kindly advised me to just take one day at a time. Which helped immensely
The weekend was a bank holiday here and the weather glorious.....myself and the other half had a couple of days booked away in a hotel by the beach so off we went. I found the whole being away and not drinking quite weird. I tried to be as 'normal' as possible - but did find the once exciting world of pubs and bars is great till about 11.30-12.00, how ever after this the drinkers seem to take flight, while a sober view just isn't the same.
One thing I really noticed was the fact my time wasn't consumed with looking to grab a drink from somewhere....nipping to the shop for a paper (small bottle of red) or insisting on getting the drinks at the bar (small voddy, no ice). I was so more relaxed and the fact I have made the previous steps, stopped me from breaking my promise to myself.
So, the weekend was lovely - I enjoyed it regardless of not drinking (Shock horror! lol :H ) I feel fresh and alive today and thankfully my initial optimistic attitude has returned.
One thing I also found really helpful is a book called "The little book of Confidence" by Susan Jeffers (Feel the fear and do it anyway). It's only a handbag size book and basically has inspirational excerpts to help you reach your goals. The following affirmation really worked for me.......
"I'LL HANDLE IT"
Repeating this affirmation can give you an enormous sense of peace when the frightening 'What Ifs' come up in your life. 'What if I lose money?...I'll handle it' 'What if I get sick?...I'll handle it.' You really can handle WHATEVER life brings you.
Susan Jeffers
......I found whenever I started to over think the future and panic about what?s ahead I simply repeated to myself 'I'll handle it'. It really stopped my thoughts in their track - I suppose because it answers the 'what if' and renders it dealt with.
So that?s my journey over the last week, today is day 7 and I am feeling good
Looking forward to the next 7 AF days now.
Hope I haven't rambled too much! Thanks for listening and the support the last week
Nics
Well today is 7 days AF for me and I thought I'd post with the goings on of the past week.
So, this time last week I started all over again and embarked on taking back my life after a turbulent past few years. What a week of ups and downs. After the initial optimism of 'starting a fresh' I found the following days were pretty tough. Physically I was all really out of sorts. Sleep was erratic, moods all over the place; cold/hot sweats in bed, generally feeling crap.
I attended my first meeting on Wed and was sooo nervous; I still believed I didn't have that 'big' a problem. I am ashamed to say; when I walked into that meeting I believed I would be the only 'normal' one. I had a vision of down and outs and alcoholic probationers.....I thought myself above that. The reality....a mixed group of people my age (27), older and younger from all walks of life. The room was full of 'normal' people, and I then realised, what I really knew deep down all along - I am an alcoholic. No more excuses / reasoning out of it. I came out of that meeting feeling drained - but optimistic and like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The secret was out.
The following couple of days were tough. The initial optimism turned to anxiety and a real sense of hopelessness. I also felt angry....why can I not control/moderate this one part of my life? I had a couple of 'not fair' feeling sorry for myself days :blush: This was closely followed by a chain of neurotic thoughts where I convinced myself I would never be able to go to a wedding, party, BBQ - any event and enjoy it EVER again. My friends wouldn't understand and see me as the 'dry' one. On hindsight this is quite a ridculous thought - but boy did I believe it at the time. Thank fully I had MWO to post on and you guys kindly advised me to just take one day at a time. Which helped immensely
The weekend was a bank holiday here and the weather glorious.....myself and the other half had a couple of days booked away in a hotel by the beach so off we went. I found the whole being away and not drinking quite weird. I tried to be as 'normal' as possible - but did find the once exciting world of pubs and bars is great till about 11.30-12.00, how ever after this the drinkers seem to take flight, while a sober view just isn't the same.
One thing I really noticed was the fact my time wasn't consumed with looking to grab a drink from somewhere....nipping to the shop for a paper (small bottle of red) or insisting on getting the drinks at the bar (small voddy, no ice). I was so more relaxed and the fact I have made the previous steps, stopped me from breaking my promise to myself.
So, the weekend was lovely - I enjoyed it regardless of not drinking (Shock horror! lol :H ) I feel fresh and alive today and thankfully my initial optimistic attitude has returned
. One thing I also found really helpful is a book called "The little book of Confidence" by Susan Jeffers (Feel the fear and do it anyway). It's only a handbag size book and basically has inspirational excerpts to help you reach your goals. The following affirmation really worked for me.......
"I'LL HANDLE IT"
Repeating this affirmation can give you an enormous sense of peace when the frightening 'What Ifs' come up in your life. 'What if I lose money?...I'll handle it' 'What if I get sick?...I'll handle it.' You really can handle WHATEVER life brings you.
Susan Jeffers
......I found whenever I started to over think the future and panic about what?s ahead I simply repeated to myself 'I'll handle it'. It really stopped my thoughts in their track - I suppose because it answers the 'what if' and renders it dealt with.
So that?s my journey over the last week, today is day 7 and I am feeling good
Looking forward to the next 7 AF days now. Hope I haven't rambled too much! Thanks for listening and the support the last week
Nics
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