scared

[zojal]

I'm really scared. It's only day three. I'm a binge drinker , I can go weeks (not months) without drinking, but when I do I can't stop. I've got 2 kids and i've got to do it for them. I've tried AA in the past but it didnt work for me as I cant sit round a table looking people in the eye and talking about my feelings . I just want someone to put their armround me and tell me I can really do something about this

[last call]

scared

:groupluv:

[last call]

scared

There's some group love for you. Don't give up. It will get better. I'm starting over tomorrow after a binge, so I know how you feel. Sucks dosen't it? Maggie

[Guest]

scared

zojal, although you seem to have dispair just remember you have awareness.

That means you at least are starting to take action. That is the start.

Move on from there and take giant leaps, or baby steps.

Both will get you from here to there.:happyheart:

[Popeye]

scared

Hi zojal,
It can be scary and overwhelming at the start. But the way I look at it, getting control of your drinking is just about the best thing you can do for yourself.
Once the initial days are over you'll just start feeling better and better.
I've read a lot here recently about the way we obsess about drink. About how it takes over every thought we have when we're trying to quit, and it's true. Rational thinking goes out the window and we feel that the only escape from this blur of mental activity is to quench it with a drink. This only keeps the vicious circle turning. Drinking to feel good for a lot of us is just an illusion propogated by alcohol's addictive effect on our brain. No matter how much we try and tell ourselves what we know to be the right thing, our conditioned brain tells us different. You just have to be strong, and as each hour passes and turns into days, you will find yourself less scared and more confident.
I found the first few weeks terribly difficult. All I wanted was relief from the strain of being responsible for the way I was feeling and dump that responsibility into a glass and just forget it for a few hours. I'm so very glad that I managed to get through that time and realise that I can beat this and that it does get better. Every day there are moments were the poisoned part of my brain asks me what I'm doing; why am I depriving myself of a little innocent pleasure. I've reached a point now where I can easily push these thoughts away and for me to be able to do this after so many years, I find miraculous.
Please don't let it take over. The initial pain is well worth the eventual gain, I promise.

[tackky]

scared

Scared am going to lose my life.

Hi, I have been on the booze for a long time now. I forgot the years. For the past 2 years, I have been binge drinking every other day. May was the most scariest month whereby I have abused myself with alcohol every weekend and every other day. I'm really scared that when I start, I can't stop. I spend so much money at times $400-500 a night just buying drinks for myself and the friends who are around as I need the company. I get so smashed that I do not know how I get home and worst, I drive. When I get up the next day, I check my car to see if it has any bumps or dents. I was mugged and robbed by the road side twice, yet I have not come to my senses. I have a decent job and I worried I might jeopardize it. So far, I played hooky a couple times from work giving excuse that I was sick. I do not want to do that anymore. I've got 3 angels and i've made my wife sick from my wrongdoings. After getting smashed, I sleep by the roadside and dont go home till late or not at all. She thought I was having an affair which was right for a while but that was over a long time ago but not my wife's ailment. I've not tried AA coz I know it wont work. I have damaged my finances and I need to do something before I go bankrupt and do grave damage to my health.

[Lavande]

scared

Welcome to jojal and tackky,

You have found a good place, glad you are both here!
Realizing & admitting you have a drinking problem is the all important big step, you have done that.
Next step is to download the MWO book, it is full of usefull information to help you make a good plan for yourself. We are all different & have different needs. Your plan needs to fit your individual needs.

The time to take action is NOW! Don't waste another minute of your lives. You have spouses & children that are suffering as well. None of this has to be, you can start your recoveries right now before things get even worse.

Peace & blessings to you both.
Stay close to MWO, we will support you.

Lavande

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

scared

Welcome Jojal and Tackky you have both taken the vital first step to recovery. You will get non judgemental advise and lots of support here. I know its so hard at the beginning but it can be done and gets easier with time. I too would say start by downloading the book and reading it. Keep posting.

KTAB