Loner in Need

[loner62]

Wow,

I read the book and I have hope. I have all the supplements, am taking Naltrexone, and am ordering the tapes.

I had the best job in the world. I blew it. No, actually they blew it. After so many nights working 'till 4am or later, I finally shot an email out that I shouldn't have (there was wine involved.) I was invited to leave, and they gave me a generous severance and bonus. I guess this was my first experience with the golden parachute concept. So I asked my husband....you know and I know I have a problem. What is your preference: I go away to a rehab facility for 30 days or try this program? He opted for the home option. So I am in ernest trying this program so I can get myself back under control and healthy.

My problem is this: I am a loner. I do not ask people for help. I work things out on my own. I'm not the social booster club mom as i should be. My husband probably married me for that characteristic - it makes it easier for him. How to I get there from here if my only real soulmate - my husband - isn't involved? How have any of you managed on your own? I want to be in control - be a role model for my sons. My eldest sister has been sober for 20 years, the other 3 between her and I don't think there is a problem. She wants me to check myself in.

The supplements are helping - but will it be enough? I fall down sometimes...maybe once a week, even with the supplements. We are now both unemployed and are filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. No stress. I am hoping the tapes will help me find peace and strength. I am so embarassed for my teenage sons..they know and I do not want them to be ashamed of me.

Thank you to all of you for being there to 'talk to.' I may be a loner, but I need help and advice just like everyone else.

I want to succeed and I feel like I'm on my way, but if even my soulmate won't engage, where do I find support?

Thank you for being there...

C-

[Rags]

Loner in Need

Welcome, welcome,
Well, you're off to a terrific start!!
You have decided to do something about your problem, and very important, your husband is going to be there to help and support you. That is very important. So a big plus there.
I didn't quite understand at the end where you say your soulmate won't engage as at the top you've discussed with him about programmes etc.

Yes, from what you have said, and they way you sound, the supps will be enough to help you achieve your goal, as you are a loner, and used to making decisions and working to them..

The tapes work for a lot of people and not for others. Ther are lots of other tapes out there if they don't work for you.

Stay strong.

Let us know how you are going.
Raggsy

[loner62]

Loner in Need

Thank You

My husband/soulmate does not engage. I have to do this myself, so I am thankful for people like yourself that give me hope and encouragement. Someday, I hope to do the same for others.

Blessings and thanks,

C -

[Popeye]

Loner in Need

Hi loner, and welcome.
Use all the tools you need. Finding the correct balance can take a while and sometimes we mess up but if you keep going you'll get there.
Take care.

[loner62]

Loner in Need

And I thought..

Labor and delivery was going to be the scariest event in my life. Not so..this is so much harder! (Overall scarier:yes, physical pain: not even!)

Thanks and I will keep posting. I need someone to bounce things off of.

C-

[Evie.Lou]

Loner in Need

Oney is right Loner, you are soooooo NOT alone anymore. You have more friends than you will know what to do with and we DO UNDERSTAND !!! REALLY WE DO !!!

[Popeye]

Loner in Need

Yes. it is scary, I know.
Being without drink, who had taken on the role of best friend, mentor and general fixer-upper of all my problems was difficult, but this was because I believed the lies that I was telling myself.
I had to change the way I think about drinking.

I am not punishing myself by staying dry. I am doing the best thing for myself that I can do.
Taking a drink will not make my problems go away...ever. If anything, drinking will make them worse.
Alcohol is not my friend. It is a liar and a thief and will leave me dead in a ditch if I trust it one inch.
Being a non-drinker does not make me odd. What is more natural? Walking around in control of my thoughts and behaviour or staggering from one drink to the next before eventually blacking out.

Just a few of the little thoughts that could maybe help when the urge strikes you. There are many more.

I'm not anti-drinking by the way. I don't have a problem with people enjoying it who can. It's just not for me.

[hdb]

Loner in Need

Welcome Loner

Hiya Loner - i would like to give you a huge warm welcome and wish you all the strength in the world :l You will find a tremendous amount of support on this site from some wonderful people. Keep in touch we are all here to support one another through the good and the bad times

[Cinders]

Loner in Need

Loner,

I just wanted to say welcome and I hope you can get the advice and support here you need.

As to your hubby being unable to engage, not his fault. If he is not a drinker with a problem, he simply cannot understand it.

I am married 34 years to a wonderful guy. (Okay, not always wonderful but neither am I ) He cannot comprehend what a battle this is.

That is what makes MWO so wonderful. You are here with others who know.

I look forward to getting to know you.

Cindi

[DeeBee]

Loner in Need

Welcome Loner,

Just wanted to reiterate what the others have said -- you are amongst friends now.

Stay close, keep posting and keep reading.

[cacky]

Loner in Need

Loner, this is such a great site and you will get so much support. I believe that if you have the opportunity to go to a 30 day in house rehab (or even better 60 days) i would take advantage of it. You just get so much more structured support and will be forced to stay sober for a period of time.

Good luck and stay in touch.

[Beaches]

Loner in Need

Loner I too just want to welcome you and ditto what all have said before me. Keep coming back, this place will work for you if you give it a chance.

[Tulipe]

Loner in Need

Your first day too?

Hi Loner,

I'm a loner too! How are you feeling?

- Tulipe

[42cat]

Loner in Need

Hi loner. Welcome! You'll find lots of support here, lots of understanding - as we're all fighting a similar fight. Read through the message boards .. We're all in the same boat. You'll find some great ideas, strategies, etc., to try. No matter what, promise yourself you won't give up. Sometimes you can kick it right off; other times it might take a few tries to find what works best for you. Knowledge is power!

And a big congratulations on taking this first step! You are on your way OUT.

Btw, I'm kind of a loner too and hang out with my husband pretty much most of the time, as opposed to going out with girlfriends, joining clubs, etc.

I'm 44 and have two girls, 16 and 20. I've been trying to kick my habit for quite some time and have finally, I hope, found what works for me. I haven't talked to my husband or family about the extent of my problem. I am doing this completely on my own. In fact, I went through withdrawal just over a week ago while tapering down and did my best to hide it, both at work and at home. Not fun, but I made it out the other side.

Here's to a great week. Keep on postin' ... You can do this.

[Lavande]

Loner in Need

Hi Loner and Tulipe too!

Welcome to both of you.

I suppose we are all loners in a way. But here at MWO we can be loners together, big difference.
My husband of 36 years is not engaged in my efforts either but I've come to realize that it really just doesn't matter. He and the rest of my family are all aware that I no longer drink but it is a topic that's not discussed. I prefer it that way. I've never enjoyed being the center of attention, have always just wanted to blend in the group, wherever I am. Some things are just too personal, you know? I am extremely pleased with my success, that's all that matters.

You can have whatever you want provided you are willing to put in the work

Best wishes!