So sick of...

[brittzak]

So sick of...

We all have horror stories...I once decided I would knock a lock off a door with a car battery..YEAH RIGHT....well I didn't quit get the battery up to the lock as it is about eye level...but I did manage to slam it right in to my thigh. All I remember was going UGH..shit that hurt, and limping back in the house. Woke-up the next moring and I literally had a bruise from my butt cheek to my knee. Try explaining that one. My daughter saw it and wanted to know what the heck happened to me. I had to lie and say I had trip over a log and fell on a rock down at the river. I know she knew I was lying.

[blondechick]

So sick of...

I hated losing track of time. I swear I'd look at my watch at 11 and then realize ( seemed like 10 mins.later) its 3am. I have fallen asleep at" friend of a friend of a friend" an wonder how the f I got there. This is the first time I have admitted to any of this- including myself. I could peel off my skin. Ugh.

[brittzak]

So sick of...

Blonde...how about drunk calling people you havent spoken to in YEARS but they pissed me off YEARS ago and for some reason, I feel it is now time I share with them just how messed up I think they really are. I am sure that came across especially well since #1 I do not even remember what the hell I said and #2 I am more than certain my speech was slurred. Great day in Heaven, I bet they thought "LOSER"...she turned out REAL GOOD... I am sure there are much more humiliating things I can't even remeber doing...that is the scarey thing...and now texting is the thing...I wish it had never been invented...UH..to read some of those the next morning. It is painful. But, it is all behind me now and ya know. I survived it all and you will too. I am glad you are here.

[JS81]

So sick of...

Blonde - Just found your post today. You are describing the exact same behavior I used to engage in frequently and I hated it so much. I think a part of my problem is that I am a shy and quiet person by nature. Put a drink in my hand and I could talk to anyone about anything for hours on end. I used to drink with friends and that went okay most of the time. However, if I was at home drinking by myself, I would often feel lonely and talkative so I would "drunk dial" old friends, ex-girlfriends (the worst) and say God knows what, then totally forget everything. I would find myself calling and apologizing the next day, and even asking "did I say anything bad?" It was so embarrassing. It did get me in trouble a few times and I had to do some major backpedaling to save the relationships. It was horrible. There were even times when I would drink and swear to myself that I was going to stay away from the phone and the internet. It seldom worked. I have been sober for a little over a month now and I can't tell you how nice it is to not have to deal with that garbage. I remember conversations now and I don't embarrass myself. But I've been there, and it's not a good feeling.

I wish you the best on your journey. I'm new here too, but this is really a cool place.

[sugarcane]

So sick of...

Ive done all the dumb things

Hi Blonde,

Am new to here too, still nursing a sore leg from falling over Wednesday though I dont remember it - just flashbacks.

I have done all of the things you have said ahd the truth be known - woken in some strange places with some strange people.

I am so much more than just a drunk. I am a kind, compassionate person and its about time I gave that person a go..........All the best to you. LETS DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:l

[LilBit]

So sick of...

We went on holiday for the weekend in the Sierra and stayed in a "camping cabin" that had a shower/bathroom in a building 50 yards away. I half-woke in the middle of the night, needing to go after downing *several* bottles of champagne with the BF, and decided that the 50 yards was just too darn far to walk. Went around to the side of the cabin instead, assumed a graceful position (yeah, right), and let Nature take its course. Problem was, I was still too drunk to maintain the graceful position and fell backwards into a branch, gouging a big hole in my right butt cheek. Two more inches to the left and I'd have been singing "Hallelujah!! Hail Mary!" The next day, I realized the cabin behind us had a perfect view of the whole thing.

[Tulipe]

So sick of...

LilBit, I am so laughing at your story! We've all been there, but now I'm afraid to post for real because I'm afraid that DH is stalking me.
Anyway, Blonde, welcome, you are in safe company, and I wish you well.
- Tulipe

[blondechick]

So sick of...

Thanks and welcome JS & Carolyn!

Js -I used to hide the phone when I started drinking. How bad is that? I knew I would do it ahead of time. Why didnt I just put the drink down?

Carolyn- You said it so well. We are more than drinking. We can do it. I am so sick of having to explain my behavior the next day. That was motivation enough for me.

[blondechick]

So sick of...

Tulipe;640501 wrote: LilBit, I am so laughing at your story! We've all been there, but now I'm afraid to post for real because I'm afraid that DH is stalking me.
Anyway, Blonde, welcome, you are in safe company, and I wish you well.
- Tulipe

I am worried about someone I know reading my posts as well.

[LilBit]

So sick of...

blondechick;640734 wrote: I am worried about someone I know reading my posts as well.
and

LilBit, I am so laughing at your story! We've all been there, but now I'm afraid to post for real because I'm afraid that DH is stalking me

Sorry you are having to look over your shoulder. I did that too for longer than I care to remember -- ugh! 'Hope you can both remain incognito. I'm glad to "meet" you both and happy that you got a laugh over my little escapade, Tulipe. I know what you mean about losing things, Blonde. I once "lost" my cell phone, had the whole family and friends look for it for days, actually accused someone of taking it, bought a new one, and realized a week later that I had it all along. I was too embarrassed to say anything to anyone at that point. 'Glad those days are over.

[Tulipe]

So sick of...

Blonde, I think maybe I was thinking a little too paranoid-ish, so for today I decide that I just don't care who reads - the important this is that we are helping each other.
- Tulipe

[Taz1]

So sick of...

Blonechick you are absoutley not alone! I stumbled onto this site at the end of May in tears and at the end of my tether knowing I had yet again behaved dreadfully after too much. Have tried many times to stop in the week stop for a month say Jan New years resolution have only ever lasted 5 days tops. Just seem to be so good at forgetting how bad things get and open that chilled bottle of white cos I deserve it. Started connecting with people on here, reading and sharing and have managed an astonishing (for me) 23 days. Some days esp weekends with friends have been tempting but just rushed back on here read and read again, never strayed too far from the reasons why I came on here in the first place. Feel brilliant now havent made a tosser of myself for over 3 weeks and friends dead pleased (oh and relieved)for me. Not to mention the respect from my sons for sticking with it this time. Target is 30 days, after that who knows but feeling good. This could be you you've taken the biggest first step by wanting to be here, one day at a time. Follow the 4 day af or 30 day af threads and keep connected you are in good hands.

Taz x

[blondechick]

So sick of...

Taz1;642328 wrote: Blonechick you are absoutley not alone! I stumbled onto this site at the end of May in tears and at the end of my tether knowing I had yet again behaved dreadfully after too much. Have tried many times to stop in the week stop for a month say Jan New years resolution have only ever lasted 5 days tops. Just seem to be so good at forgetting how bad things get and open that chilled bottle of white cos I deserve it. Started connecting with people on here, reading and sharing and have managed an astonishing (for me) 23 days. Some days esp weekends with friends have been tempting but just rushed back on here read and read again, never strayed too far from the reasons why I came on here in the first place. Feel brilliant now havent made a tosser of myself for over 3 weeks and friends dead pleased (oh and relieved)for me. Not to mention the respect from my sons for sticking with it this time. Target is 30 days, after that who knows but feeling good. This could be you you've taken the biggest first step by wanting to be here, one day at a time. Follow the 4 day af or 30 day af threads and keep connected you are in good hands.

Taz x

:H This made me chuckle. I haven't been a tosser in a while now myself. Feels good.

[tinkerbell68]

So sick of...

Hey Blonde, I thought I was reading something that I had posted!!! I"m hearing you....... here's to being AF forever - one day at a time though!

[Kimberley]

So sick of...

This is all so true! I am probably moving from the area I live at the moment, because of all the stupid, embarrassing things I have done in public around here and the fact that the people in my local corner shop have seen me in there several times buying brandy at 8am!! NOOOOOOOO!

It's hard because now when I go in there sober, I feel so uncomfortable, because THEY ALL KNOW! But time heals I guess and the more time I do sober, the further in the past those horrific times will be