Scared but optimistic
Good Morning Tip:
It's about 6am in Texas and I wanted to check in and see how you're doing. To begin with, the fear you experience is a good thing. We all need to be scared to death of the direction our abuse of alcohol is leading us. You mentioned the loss of your brother and the colleague who spent time in the hospital. For some reason, you would think that those kind of events would be a wake up call to us alcoholics. Unfortunantly, it usually doesn't work that way. It occurs to me that the pain has to be our own.
Like Sunny, I do AA meetings. Just another weapon in my arsenal to fight the battle against booze. And like Sunny, I recognise that some of the AA philosophy doesn't fit into my program. For instance, the first step of the 12 step program roughly states that the alcoholic is "powerless" over alcohol. I don't buy it, No one but me lift's that drink to my lips. It's my responsibility, actions and repercussions from those actions that I take ownership of. No one but me can make the changes necessary to correct the destructive path that I was on. (no offence God)
I treat my battle against alcohol much like I would a chess match with a master chess player. The difference is I'm playing for my life and the grand prize is a full, healthy and long future with my family, friends and most important myself. I've made a high stakes game out of it because I'm very competitive and goal oriented. This philosophy has worked for me for close to 6 weeks. I never could have done it without the support of all these wonderful, supportive, knowledgeable and compassionate people here. Not to mention they are all former drunks. Another weapon I urge you to take advantage of is accountability. When you get your game plan together write it down, then tweak it, then share it with someone. Preferably someone that knows the routine of detox and what lays ahead. 42Cat would be a good person because she is a prolific poster and her challenges with detox were monumental. But she won the first battle of her war and would probably share with you the benefits of her experience. Once you're accountable for your actions, and old alcoholics feeling, guilt, will become a motivator. When I first started getting sober and would have thoughts of swinging in to the beer store I would just think of the people that I am accountable to in MWO and how shitty I would feel to admit to them that I had caved in. That guilt, even though I hadn't caved kept me driving on past that temptation. Just a tool I use to trick myself into staying alcohol free. Believe me, alcohol has a bag of tricks of it's own to trick me into drinking. When you have time, there is a writing in the Community Blog called "Hello" I urge you to read it.
Well enough of my dribble for this morning. Have a great day and a good weekend.
All my best,
Blu
Good Morning Tip:
It's about 6am in Texas and I wanted to check in and see how you're doing. To begin with, the fear you experience is a good thing. We all need to be scared to death of the direction our abuse of alcohol is leading us. You mentioned the loss of your brother and the colleague who spent time in the hospital. For some reason, you would think that those kind of events would be a wake up call to us alcoholics. Unfortunantly, it usually doesn't work that way. It occurs to me that the pain has to be our own.
Like Sunny, I do AA meetings. Just another weapon in my arsenal to fight the battle against booze. And like Sunny, I recognise that some of the AA philosophy doesn't fit into my program. For instance, the first step of the 12 step program roughly states that the alcoholic is "powerless" over alcohol. I don't buy it, No one but me lift's that drink to my lips. It's my responsibility, actions and repercussions from those actions that I take ownership of. No one but me can make the changes necessary to correct the destructive path that I was on. (no offence God)
I treat my battle against alcohol much like I would a chess match with a master chess player. The difference is I'm playing for my life and the grand prize is a full, healthy and long future with my family, friends and most important myself. I've made a high stakes game out of it because I'm very competitive and goal oriented. This philosophy has worked for me for close to 6 weeks. I never could have done it without the support of all these wonderful, supportive, knowledgeable and compassionate people here. Not to mention they are all former drunks. Another weapon I urge you to take advantage of is accountability. When you get your game plan together write it down, then tweak it, then share it with someone. Preferably someone that knows the routine of detox and what lays ahead. 42Cat would be a good person because she is a prolific poster and her challenges with detox were monumental. But she won the first battle of her war and would probably share with you the benefits of her experience. Once you're accountable for your actions, and old alcoholics feeling, guilt, will become a motivator. When I first started getting sober and would have thoughts of swinging in to the beer store I would just think of the people that I am accountable to in MWO and how shitty I would feel to admit to them that I had caved in. That guilt, even though I hadn't caved kept me driving on past that temptation. Just a tool I use to trick myself into staying alcohol free. Believe me, alcohol has a bag of tricks of it's own to trick me into drinking. When you have time, there is a writing in the Community Blog called "Hello" I urge you to read it.
Well enough of my dribble for this morning. Have a great day and a good weekend.
All my best,
Blu
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