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Scared but optimistic

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    #61
    Scared but optimistic

    Tip, you are getting there -- keep it up!!
    I can't remember if I've mentioned it to you before but I believe that Vit C really does help with withdrawals -- 1000mg's.

    I saw the front page of the paper last night -- it was a picture of one hut on TOP of another !! I believe the winds will hit us tonight, they are predicting 100km/h winds and snow on the berg - joy!
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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      #62
      Scared but optimistic

      Thanks for your messages, puddy & deebs

      I'm feeling strong this morning: better than any day this week. I think my talk with AL yesterday helped :-)

      I didn't even drink all of my ALlocation last night - the last bit of red wine went down the sink!

      Arrived home with tight chest, but stood back and decided to try humour on AL. My son has picked up this phrase from some or other program on Cartoon Network: "Watcha doin?", so I asked AL, and he couldn't answer. So I sorted out the pool, made myself a cup of tea, and then fixed dinner. The kids didn't want macaroni cheese (not enough of a reward, apparently - they want McDonalds tonight), so I ended up making a lovely butter chicken with Basmati instead.

      Slept badly again. Some sweats still. Asleep around midnight, awake at 2.00, sleep again from 4.00 - 6.00. But as I said - feeling good.

      The plan:
      1. Stick to 125ml vodka, 2x red (or less, if this feeling continues) until Monday, when I'm going to taper down to 100ml + 2x red.
      2. Recognise signs of triggers (slowly starting to get better at that) and manage them in new ways.
      3. Constantly remind self of goals
      4. Babysteps
      5. Checking in on MWO
      6. Get out of the house Saturday & Sunday - refill spare gas bottles, kitten to vet, get haircut etc.
      7. When I am at home, keep busy - intend cooking a lot of comfort food
      8. Diversionary tactic for tonight: have discovered Mahjong computer game, plus version of favourite shoot-em-up game - Quake II. I'll pretend its AL I'm leaving in a bloody puddle in the dungeons :-)

      Hope everyone has a great Friday and weekend, and if you're not - keep your chin up, pop into MWO regularly, and it's sure to get better.
      I'll do whatever it takes
      AF 21/08/2009

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