help scare me/us straight

[puddytat]

This morning my delightful roommate arrived home from her part-time night job in tears sobbing because she got caught driving outside the terms of her occupational license, which was revoked due to a 1st-time DUI. (The woman is definitely NOT an alcoholic like us BTW. Her issue is bi-polar disorder, which she keeps under control ...yet I digress)

So, she faces jail-time, fees, and 1 yr license suspension. Man - she only had 2-weeks left of her suspension, and couldn't swing the $50 needed to change the hrs/route for the new part-time job.

Anyway, this got me to thinking about CONSEQUENCES. Consequences of my/our drinking, and why don't they scare me/us straight??!! My little story: I have one DUI. Luckily I live in Wisconsin, the only state in the USA for which a 1st offense is NOT criminal. Yet I continue to risk driving while buzzed (generally only get totally hammered at home). A 2nd offense DUI would be DEVASTATING! I'm already having trouble getting jobs with the single one from 2007. A 2nd DUIwould mean: 1) no driving for a year 2) ignition lock afterward 3) criminal record 4) real hard time getting ANY job in this economy.. yet I continue to risk it??

Help scare me straight. Someday I'll move toward sobriety -- right now I need motivation to move away from pain and consequences

[lukalee]

help scare me/us straight

I don't think I can scare you straight; you already know the consequences, yet, that is not enough. What would be enough for you? Would going to jail do it? How about going to the hospital and seeing victims of drinking and driving? Or a funeral? You're really the only one who can scare yourself straight. You're the only one who knows your bottom. Why don't you take a good, long, hard look at that bottom and ask yourself if that is where you want to be.

[hart]

help scare me/us straight

(((Puddytat)))

One thing I am proud of is that I don't ever drink and drive. Could you live with yourself if you killed someone due to being drunk while driving? I don't think I could.

[DriftyAlison0]

help scare me/us straight

When I drank, I never drove after drinking. Even if it was one to two drinks I wouldn't drive. So maybe you need to imagine yourself with another DUI and/or that you killed someone. And then use to quit drinking.

[choppersmom]

help scare me/us straight

Puddytat. Big hugs to you first of all :l. You already know the consequences of drinking and driving, and it is so not worth it. Make sobriety your first priority and good things will follow.

[cacky]

help scare me/us straight

Puddytat, I was watching American Jails the other night and outside of allmost all the people being brought in being drunks...they brought in this one guy who just realized that he may have just killed someone. We can get over anything else but that. I think this is great that you are reaching out. As a chronic drunk driver myself...i dont do it any more. i got a DUI last year (by the grace of god it got dismissed) My attorney read my police report and said that i could have easily killed someone or myself. Ive done alot over the last year to regain confidence with people and he seemed impressed with how i have changed my life. I looked at my DUI as a gift (a gift that prevented me from killing someone). I also look at my dismissal as another gift.

Dont give up this gift you have at a 2nd chance at life.

[Tulipe]

help scare me/us straight

HI Puddytat,
I agree that it seems you already know the consequences, but one thing which might motivate is to watch youtube videos of drunk people. I think the idea about American Jails is a good one too. Talk about distasteful! I think that was another thing which scared me - DH got a Flip and said he was going to take videos of me late at night. Ug, how yukky is that!

[42cat]

help scare me/us straight

Alcoholics who drink like I did, and don't stop ... don't live.

Hey there, Pud. OK, scared straight ... you asked, so I'll be as harsh telling it as I have been on myself.

First of all, re. drinking and driving ... As you know, I had a morning drink before work. Fortunately (or not), I have not received a DUI, but can imagine how devastating it would be. (Isn't that a selfish thing for me to say.) Every morning I was out there (not drunk, but somewhat sedated, let's say) putting everyone in harm's way because my own addiction was more important than anything. (I am very ashamed.) I even thought I was a "better" driver because I didn't have the shakes or wasn't having an anxiety attack .... AL is very good at brainwashing us, isn't he.

BUT, that isn't what scared me straight with regard to drinking itself ... My scared-straightedness (yes, I made up that word) came from three different places, and I'll share those too, in case they might help:

(1) My bloodwork from February showed elevated liver enzymes. I cut back on AL for a few days, but soon fell back into the pattern, and it got worse. I have put off my follow-up bloodwork. That's when I started researching liver and alcoholism. I learned some horrible things --> Fatty liver, cirhossis, symptoms, treatment, prognosis. Doesn't mean much until you make it your business. I looked up stories. I went through liver message boards. What I found was that there are a lot of people out there in very poor liver health because of alcohol - some in the early stages, some in late stages, some who will die, memories of those who have died and how horrible their lives and last days were.

The scariest part... A lot of these people drank so much LESS than I did and/or for not as long a period of time.
I thought, "Holy cow. What have I done to myself?" .. The liver's job is to keep you alive - and I was actively killing mine.

OK, yes, the liver regenerates ... that is the one positive that I'm holding onto ... But, keep drinking, and the liver WILL eventually get to a point where it will NOT be able to regenerate, if it is too far gone/scarred... Did you know that initially there really aren't any symptoms? .. Did you know that the liver gets enlarged when you get fatty liver, but as cirhossis (scar tissue) sets in and builds up, it starts to get hard and shrink, until it doesn't work anymore? .. Did you know that a bad liver can cause varicose veins in your esophagus and, if they rupture (even from a cough), you could bleed to death? .. Did you know that if you do have liver damage, moderate drinking can still lead to cirhossis and death? Your liver needs a break.

Google the symptoms and compare them to yourself ... the whites of your eyes - any yellowing? How about bruising? How are your finger and toe nails? Do some googling........AND, the thing is, we're all different - You don't know how much is going to set off YOUR liver..... As Clint Eastwood said, "Are ya feelin' lucky? ... Well, are ya?"

(2) ... And then there's brain function - I could tell I was slowing down in that regard. I was getting confused and not remembering things from during the day - even though I never got drunk .. I just sipped. I never used to forget before, but lately I was feeling stupid.

(3) And the one that tops my list -- I'm only 44. I have two wonderful daughters. I can't change the past - BUT what is becoming of my life? What will become of it? Next year? Five years from now? How long will I live? If I continue drinking as I have been, will I ever be happy? ... Um, the answer to that is an obvious big fat NO. ... And how can I learn new things, or start a new hobby, join a club, etc., when I'm drinking like this? .. I can't. It's not just going to happen on its own one day. ..... And what about after my kids move out and have kids of their own? Will they want me to babysit? Will I even be here to do that? I really really really want to be happy. I'm only 44 - I want to live at least 44 more years, and more if I can. Hopefully, I haven't ruined it.

Most alcoholics who continue to drink like I/we have, and who don't stop.... don't live.

......................... (( hug ))

You asked for it ... that's my scared'ness .... Hope it helped. It helped me.

[Blue Sky]

help scare me/us straight

Thanks for sharing that 42cat. I had a little whisper in my ear telling me a drink would be nice tonight but after reading your post the only drink the beast will get tonight will be tea.

[42cat]

help scare me/us straight

I'm glad, Blue Sky. Have a wonderful evening.

[golfpro]

help scare me/us straight

Hi Puddytat

I am new to this so I hope this is not inappriate. I will try and scare you. I spent two weeks in jail for a second dui. This is how my two weeks went. Trust me you don't want to be in the following situation.

I turned myself in at 7pm on Monday night. Everything was taken from me, I was stripped down to my underwear, and given an orange jump suit. I was then placed in the holding cell (better known as the drunk tank and I was sober). They kept me there until 2am in the morning when they moved me to what they call the intake area where they put me in a cell designed for one and there was already someone there, so I had to sleep on the floor. Although, that was short lived because they wake you at 4am for breakfast. I won't go into details about the food, but it is awful and you are never full. You are back in your cell at 4:45 to 7:00. You are out of your cell and into a small common area with a couple of metal tables and one TV. You have no reading materials, boardgames, nothing. You have two showers in the common area for about 30 guys. Lunch is served at 10:30 (yes 10:30) and then you are back in "lock down" from 11:00 to 1:30. Back in the common area where dinner is served at 4:30. Then lock down from 5:00 to 7:00. Back to common area until 9:00 when you are locked down for the night. After about four days of this I was moved to "general population". The schedule and food in general population is the same. The only differences are the common area is a little bigger, you have access to newspapers, books, cards, boardgames. I have left out a ton of bad details and could go on for pages on how bad it is, but I don't want my post to be too long. I live in a pretty affluent county in Northern Virginia with a brand new jail and this was by far the worse two weeks of my life. At least I didn't drink for two weeks. I hope this scares you a little. Don't drink and drive. If you decide to drink call a friend or call a cab. It is not worth it and there are many other consequences besides the jail time I described above.

[puddytat]

help scare me/us straight

thank you Golfpro; thank you Cat

I asked for consequences. THANK YOU for your honesty. The legal situation my roommate is in shook me up; woke me up. As Cat expressed, consequences are not just legal ... which tripped me up so often in my early attempts to quit drinking. I had no legal consequences in treatment, so it was as if I was a lightweight -- or a wannabe -- and not taken seriously.

So Cat, thank God you are taking care of yourself and realizing the physical consequences in midlife (I'm 45 y.o.)

GolfPro -- my God -- just what little you've written (given you said you could write pages) it sounds horrible. Horrible enough to drive you to drink. No kidding. It seems the further we sink, the less we come up out of it.

Thank you both for sharing your consequences. I'll share mine, too.:thanks:

[puddytat]

help scare me/us straight

Cacky - Soooo glad your DUI was dismissed. That wouldn't happen in Wisconsin, as I understand it. (no plea bargaining allowed) Just, really glad it was dismissed.

[chrysa]

help scare me/us straight

puddytat..I have been following you for a couple of days..you are young..you can turn this around

one thing to start with..change your avatar to something you want to be..not what you are now...

your cat looks like a down-trodden, street, drunk cat...
Is that who you want to be?...

If not, get help & stop changing the subject..like being supportive about someonelse's DUI...I see right through that shit

How old are you?

[Glass Half Empty]

help scare me/us straight

Puddytat - there is never an excuse for driving drunk. You can drive, or you can drink - it's that simple. Having a reliance on alcohol may explain why you (or any of us) drink more than we should but it gives you absolutely NO excuse to then get behind the wheel of a lethal machine afterwards. The two things are completely seperate.

If you choose to ignore your own health and drink yourself silly that's your choice (as it is often mine - so no criticism intended there), but once you get behind the wheel of a car in that condition it's not just your choice or your problem any more.

I have a problem with alcohol and often drink more than I should, but I have never driven after having more than the legal limit and if I know I will be drinking I leave the car at home. Or if I am planning not to drink but change my mind I leave the car there and get a cab home. It's that simple! I have two kids who are normal young male uni students (aged 20 and 23). They're not what I would consider to be big drinkers, but will drink as much as kids that age normally do at parties on the weekends or have a drink or two at home on a special occasion. They have always been incredibly responsible about not drink/driving and they will often refuse wine at special family occasions like a Christmas Day lunch because they know they might want to drive somewhere later that night. If they can do that at their age, there is no excuse for supposed adults not to make the same choices.

You asked for consequences? Ok - how's this! One night, you could be driving home 'buzzed', miss a stop sign and smash into someone else's beloved children who are intelligent and mature enough to go without that drink they would have really liked, and perhaps even deserved, so they can drive home sober.

Put simply - you do not have the right to put anyone else's loved ones in jeopardy because you are too selfish to leave the car at home and get a cab! If you think this sounds harsh, you're absolutely right, but it's nothing compared to what I would do to someone who took the lives of my family because they thought their desire to have a good time was more important.

In a nutshell - grow up! And instead of thinking selfishly about the effects on poor you of having a DUI record, think about other people for a change and how it might make them feel if you kill the people they love!