help scare me/us straight

[Tulipe]

help scare me/us straight

Hey Tip - you described my dad in your post! That is, until 3 months ago when he got his fifth second chance...
Cindi - thank you for the story about Bear. The irony of it chills me.
Well looking forward to my 6th AF day.
- Tulipe

[OverIt2007]

help scare me/us straight

Did anyone see the You Tube video I posted? Not trying to sound like a baby here (LOL) but its very powerful (to me at least)

This is a little girl from my town, and I was deeply moved by her story. Broke my heart actually. I guess its because I myself, have a young child. I cannot imagine what this little girl has gone through.

[puddytat]

help scare me/us straight

OverIt - I was sobbing yesterday watching it. Just ripped me up. OverIt, right in your own back yard must be a sobering reminder.

And Jacqueline Saburido Cacky posted-- it's been almost 10 yrs for her living with those burns.
Drunk Driving: Jacqueline Saburido - Video
And the story about Bear from Cindi; cruel irony. and to so many that I've not mentioned -- will get the book Face2Face thanks to everyone for your help.

[OverIt2007]

help scare me/us straight

PuddyTat,

I know you posted the thread, "scare us straight" but the truth is.... ALL of us need to be scared straight!

Thank you for posting this thread, and for the reminder and reality of those innocent people who are affected by any careless drunk driver. That little Tampa girl will never know the joy of being in her mothers arms again. And sadly, she is just one of many.

None of us want to be in the shoes of hurting someone else in that way! We all have the chance now to make sure we never do!

Thanks PuddyTat!

Love,

Overit

[cacky]

help scare me/us straight

Over, can you repost the you tube post

[OverIt2007]

help scare me/us straight

Sure Cacky,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fSzQ2QRyAM[/video]]YouTube - Summer Moll's Christmas



I realize, this is just one of so many sad stories.

[cacky]

help scare me/us straight

oh yeah i saw this. thanks for reposting.

[puddytat]

help scare me/us straight

MEA CULPA

In the original post, I've realized I only discussed consequencies as they applied to ME if I drove drunk ... like, the "all-about-Puddy" show.
Victims?... what victims? SORRY. I'm so ashamed.

Knee-deep in denial, I believ(ed) that I drive only in control.... only "buzzed". Like that matters??? Buzzed can kill too!!!

That my one DUI in 2007 was under the legal limit (0.072) is no excuse... Because I've definitely driven out-of-control in the last 2 yrs!! Just like Speds says, all judgment is suspended when the Beast needs to get more AL.

My DUI happened on my 2nd beer of the 6-pak, the car reeked of the beer(s) I cracked, and my tail-light was burned out, and also was so nervous (or buzzed?) couldn't walk a straight line to the end!) ...by the grace of God didn't hurt anyone. I drink alone; not at bars. Try to keep harm contained ... sometimes can't/won't make it home fast enough to get started.

Re: my roommate's DUI: She was so drunk that, 2 blocks from the bar, she pulled over in a parking-lot to get off the road and sleep it off. She was awakened 3 hrs later, at 4am and given a DUI for being "behind the wheel." Even tho parked.

Not making excuses. Just saying my head-space was in a selfish space away from potential victims, and thinking I always drive in control, so consequences only applied to me, the alc. Whereas I don't "always" drive in control. Just usually. Which isn't saying much. Ugh.

THANK YOU for your solicited wake-up calls.

Glad I have you guys to talk with.
Puddytat


'--------------------------------------
P.S. Currently working toward a plan of Detox/Withdrawal late July 2009. Will be with my Gram then for 2 straight weeks (she knows. at 92, she's seeen it all) Am taking supps and including also digestive enzymes and milk thistle. Also am eating " 3-squares" -- but still having trouble keeping food down. Always wake up puking.

Baclofen should arrive in 10 days, then can start titrating up to a dose similar to typical benzos, in prep for a safe withdrawal.

Hoping Baclofen help make sobriety tolerable.

[Accountable for Me]

help scare me/us straight

Hang in there Puddy. So many of us have been so sick from the drink that eating was hard. I am glad to hear you are going into detox and your Gram will be with you for two weeks.

Is your roommate going to do a similar program? I imagine that if she continues to drink as she is, it will be very hard for you to resist after a while. It could lead to a relapse.

Make sure you have a solid plan when you leave Grams. We are here for you, without a doubt.

Thanks for starting this thread. So many of us have been behind the wheel while under the influence. Some of us have had DUI's and thankfully hadn't ruined anyone's lives except for our own at the time. A lot of the 'realities' of drinking don't seem to get discussed much here anymore. I don't know why...

I think that these stark reminders of what could have happened/could happen are needed from time to time to scare us all straight from making poor decisions if we do drink.

[livingfree]

help scare me/us straight

Great Thread

Thanks to all who have posted here. This thread reminds me of the great threads that we used to have here when Bear, Chief, Star, AA, X, Mags, KateH1, WW and so many others would have these discussions. It's what set me on this path! This is GREAT stuff. I have been sober for 18 months and this thread scared me too! One can NEVER get to comfey thinking you can let up.

My "scare" happened about a year before I was able to quit. It was a dream. It was so "real life" that I can still "see" the dream in detail. I was driving down my highway on my way home. The scenery was as real as reality. I hit a pick up pulling a piece of equipment head on. The old man in the truck was dying and I drove off because I had been drinking. I got home and the phone was ringing and someone wanted to talk to me about seeing me in the area. I woke up in a sweat. I vowed every single day from that day on that I would never drink again. Just like the two dozen years before that ... I didn't quit. But every time I drove down that road (which was every day) I saw that accident flash before my eyes. Even after I finally quit ... I still see it when I drive home.

Was it a vision of what was to come? I don't know, but I believe it probably was. I just know that everyday I still drank after that ... I was playing Russian roulete.

Again - thanks for this thread. Reminds me of my beginnings here and I now look back with such fond memories. Love to all

[Glass Half Empty]

help scare me/us straight

I'm glad to hear this was a good wake-up call for you Puddytat.

I know I was really harsh in my post, but I took the risk of causing offense to anyone here because this is such a life or death issue and I didn't think the soft touch was going to cut it!

It's so much better to learn a serious lesson this way than the really hard way - which is to be in court hearing someone crying their heart out while they read you an impact statement explaining how you have just destroyed their lives. Funnily enough, the alcohol ads don't show that bit!

There was a case here last year where a man drunk-drove into two young teenage sisters who were walking on the sidewalk, killing them both. So these poor parents had raised these two girls for something like 15 and 17 years and suddenly, just as they were becoming young adults and their lives were ahead of them, they were just wiped out in an instant. A few months later, this idiot was again picked up again for drink driving in another part of Australia, while he was awaiting sentencing for the first offense. I simply can't believe how that could not be enough of a lesson for anyone!

Anyway, good luck with your rehab - and keep us posted!

Edit: BTW - I think that whole "being in charge of the vehicle" thing can be quite unfair. When my youngest son was away at residential college, if they were going to a party at one of the college houses and there weren't enough spare beds, some of them would take a sleeping bag and sleep in the back of their car for the night. My son was shocked when I broke it to him that here in Qld you can be charged for that if the keys are anywhere in your possession, even if you have no intention of driving. It seems so unfair when they were trying to do the right thing by not driving home until the morning!

[puddytat]

help scare me/us straight

Sometimes you need a "swift-kick-in-the-pants"

Sometimes you need a "swift- kick-in-the-pants" -- as per 'glass 1/2 empty' i.e. "negative motivation", or in our context a basic drunk-a-logue. Allow me to back up:

At the root, motivation is categorized in 2 ways:
1) moving toward pleasure ("positive motivation")
2) moving away from pain ("negative motivation")
.............P.S. I'm in marketing (or was); we're taught this stuff.

So I purposely posted this thread in "Just Starting Out" because:
1) folks just getting back on the wagon have their bad experiences fresh in mind,
2) folks just starting more likley are motivated by a 'swift-kick' (i.e. negative motivation)
3) folks who are on the right track generally don't want to, uh, 'wallow in the muck' of the alcoholic past. Instead their friends, relationships, blessings of sobriety --these great things are likely more motivating to those successfully in sobriety (i.e. positive motivation)

So kinda really needed the 'negative motivation' -- all the bad consequences -- just in my particular stage and story.

Accountable - appreciate the understanding and honesty - glad you're on the other side. Stay there!

Livingfree -- what a vision. very big congrats on 18 mos.

Glass Half -- yep, hated your 'harsh; post ;-) But needed. thanks for the story.

ZenStyle -- always enjoy your posts. Appreciate your offer of pointers on Baclofen.

Very kind. kind regards, Puddy
,------------------------------
P.S. : Finally, it's hard for me to be motived by the promises of sobriety (i.e. "positive motivation"), as the "return to self", "feeling free", "back to my same old self" etc. ... because that won't be a good thing! not for me.
I'm a nervous wreck and always have been Alcohol has undeniably helped me show my "real-self" to my family and friends. Undeniably! - AL has helped me show a side of myself that was hidden by crippling social anxiety and avoidant-personality disorder.

So, the "positive motivation" that many or most might experience isn't the case for me, or for many of us "dual-diagnosis" people. We drink for relief of symptoms. And know damn well what sobriety means for us: return to symptoms.

[42cat]

help scare me/us straight

Great post, P'Tat. Very interesting.

And, you know, I started drinking for similar reasons ... to not be so shy .. to not feel anxiety or panic .. to escape .. etc. Fortunately, my anxiety left when I got sober .. not sure why, but I'm happy about that. I know a lot of people are not as fortunate and have a lot to deal with post-sobriety.

I think the key here .. is the "dealing with", or learning how to deal .. using other means than alcohol. There are many meds and techniques at your disposal ... Could be therapy / counselling, might be anti-anxiety type medication, or other happy meds ... could be some sort of holistic approach ... could be simply by doing some research and trying new things until you find the one(s) that work for you. Yep, there are many other approaches than using alcohol. Remember, you don't have to just "live with" those feelings or symptoms that return once you stop drinking alcohol .... There are many other ways of dealing -- and just knowing that there are other methods that I can use, if I need to, makes me feel a little more "at ease" in giving up the booze.

One of the nastiest things about using alcohol to ease life's "symptoms" is that, while he does relieve them (temporarily), he also makes them worse, and makes you need him more and more. He is cruel and evil that way. AND he has tons of "side effects" .... health-wise, brain-wise, life-and-family-wise, happiness-wise .. and the list goes on.

..... I'm enjoying your posts very much. Sounds like you're really getting your head around things, as I have been these days. Feels good to get to know myself better, learn some new things, think some new thoughts, and try to see life differently. Life can be what we want it to be .. I am sure of that now!

{{ hugs }} to you!

[CS04]

help scare me/us straight

There was another episode on Oprah (now you guys are gonna think that all I ever do is watch Oprah) where a family was coming home late at night from a wedding, their car was hit by a drunk driver, and the little girl, who I think was 6, was decapitated in the accident. The mom was so in shock that she sat on the side of the road, holding the girl's head in her arms. And Oprah kept saying, "you sat on the curb, holding your daughter's severed head in your hands?" She must have said it 4 or 5 times. I don't mean to be gross or sensationalizing, but again, it was a horrible story to hear.

[42cat]

help scare me/us straight

I totally remember that Oprah. It was definitely a horrible story.