I've been browsing this forum for a few weeks and now that I have made a decision to give up drinking (the initial goal is a month) I feel I can start posting. I felt too self conscious before.
I am 37 and have been drinking since I was 15. During my 3 pregnancies I cut down and even stopped for a few months but then started up again, drinking even whilst breastfeeding. I seem to have reached a point when I have to do something. In April I signed up for a marathon at the end of October. My running started well then tailed off. This week I have started again. I may not manage to get fit enough in time but it'll be better that continuing to drink so much. With 3 children now something has to give, I surrounded by unfinished or unstarted projects and plagued with frequently returning depression. For years I've tried to get healthier with diet and exercise and self help books. All my symptoms have cures but I have failed to get the main problem under control, the drinking. I have hoped it would just sort itself out and go away naturally, but that just doesn't happen does it? So today is day 1. I have survived lunch with a friend had drunk orange juice. But can feel that later will be harder. I have some L-glutamine somewhere so need to get that out. I also have a deep mediation CD to try. I ran this morning which always helps me feel better. I realised yesterday that when I was depressed as a teenager and on antidepressants and tranquilisers I had already started drinking white wine at weekends. I thought it had been the other way round so was able to deny that alcohol had anything to do with the depression.
I'm really glad to have found this board. As a Mum I have kept my problems quiet as I have worried that social services would be less than supportive if they found out. My kids are well balanced and happy at school and home. Its nice to see that I am not alone. Sad to see that others suffer like this too, but pleasing to see that people are getting support and getting better. I am blogging my progress. As I said I was too self concsious to post so I have blogged and will carry on doing so. I will put the blog address in my profile if I can if not just ask me if you'd like to look.
Thanks to you all
gettingsobermum
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