humility

[veritas]

How many times must I start out?

thing is... I do so well and then the shit hits the fan.

I really did well..
tonight, I am only semi drunk... maybe a bottle of wine.. after many, many days of sobriety..

I will wake up feeling horrible.
My tummy will run.. and I will forget again..

[scrubbly]

humility

Veritas....

You said you had "many many days of sobriety" I would recommend that this be your main focus, rather than the slip up you have had today.

You should examine WHY you had the slip today, I hear over and over again that we must look for our "triggers" that lead us to relapse.

You came back here and posted, you have support from all of us here, and I believe you will do well again! :l

[veritas]

humility

thanks Scrubbs...

I just think that I am getting priority status on relapses..

I did vitual sobriety since March. I am not good at counting.
What I can look at is what I achieved.

I have started new projects... connected with my passion...
and then, the bottle of wine.

I am so keen to try Baclofan. What stuns me is how few folks know about it.

[scrubbly]

humility

I know. The Baclofen folks on here are practically proselytizing about its wonders.

And I hear it is actually quite inexpensive too.

Are you in touch with a doctor to get you started?? Good luck with that.

[Rags]

humility

Good Morning Veritas,
Yep, read and re-read what Scribbly and Zen have written.
And you yourself said you can look at what you've achieved. Sobriety since March is a terrific milestone. Like Zen says, it is one slip in over 3 months. Don't let it dominate your thoughts. Be kind to yourself.

[Beaches]

humility

Veritas, I agree don't be too harsh on yourself because you will get sucked down into a dark place that is very hard to get out of and then AL wins. You will win, you have done it before and will again. We are here for you.

[cacky]

humility

Veritas, you should be very proud of yourself making many days of sobriety. You made a slip, you are controling it to some extent because you recognize that it is dangerous for you and you are right back here writing to us.

Drink some water and get some sleep.

[veritas]

humility

Thanks everyone for your replies. I am feeling a bit delicate today. I want to stay sober. I hate this feeling. Isn't it crazy? I mean what sane person swallows foul tasting poison knowing that they are going to feel utterly horrible the next morning? I don't even get much of a high anymore.

[Popeye]

humility

veritas;642204 wrote: Isn't it crazy? I mean what sane person swallows foul tasting poison knowing that they are going to feel utterly horrible the next morning?

You summed it up for me veritas.
I never liked the taste or the aftermath.
It's wasted enough of my time.
Good Riddance!

[lil.michelle]

humility

Aww hun *HUG* I know how you feel. I went through this sooo many times. Just brush yourself off and try again. As long as your trying you're not failing!

[veritas]

humility

Yesterday really wasn't fun... what a wasted day... Don't you hate it that alcohol robbs us of our time, energy and enthusiasm.?

[Beaches]

humility

Yeah I get really angry too especially when I think that I am pouring my money down my throat, enjoying the experience for a very short time then not remembering, being ashamed and embarssed. How is that a good use of time, money and energy?? It's not!
Hope you are feeling better and more resolved today veritas.

[savon19]

humility

veritas;641926 wrote: How many times must I start out?

I will wake up feeling horrible.
My tummy will run.. and I will forget again..

Although I've never given birth... somehow this reminds me of what women say: Despite the horrible pain, they... do it again!

('Course, giving birth is waaaay different than having a hangover!)

I guess what I'm saying is that we seem to Choose our memories...

[OverIt2007]

humility

Good perception Savon,

Yes, how quickly we forget the pain and misery we put ourselves through when dealing with the consequences of the "day after".

This reminds me of something I heard once.

A fox wanted to get at some of the tasty chickens in the chicken coop. After Mr. Fox grabbed one of the chickens, he was surprised when a pellet of the farmer gave his butt a good, sharp sting. The fox learned quickly that going after the chickens would equal getting that sharp pain in his rear end again. He decided to stay away from the chicken coop.

Moral of the story? We are dumber than animals when we continue to return to the pain and suffering we cause ourselves by drinking!

Love,

Overit

[savon19]

humility

Ohhh, very much INDEED. Why do we "Choose" to ... return.. to the pain?

Part of me thinks that it's because we have Conscience.