So, when I post..I don't drink..coincidance?

[crybaby]

I thought everything was going well. I'd been AF for four days. Went to see a counselor on Friday. Bawled my eyes out; was emotionally exhausted the rest of the day. Suggested my hubby pick up a "bottle of wine...for dinner". Of course he did; of course we finished it, and when he left to visit some friends...surprise...I continued to drink...switched to vodka, which I don't even like...just had to keep drinking... Then Saturday, big surprise...ordered wine w/ dinner at a restaurant, and did not stop drinking until I passed out. Another night of disappointment w/ my kids. Another example that I cannot moderate.
But, I'm not as upset w/ myself as I could be. I know I screwed up, but I know that I'm doing better in June than I was in May. Is that denial or can I take some pride in only getting drunk twice in a week? Sounds sick...

[universal]

So, when I post..I don't drink..coincidance?

Crybaby - as long as there is progress you are on the right path. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off. You said it yourself, you learned a lesson - you can't moderate.

So now you have hit your crossroads where only you can decide what the next step is. You did 4 days - why not make a small goal to try to hit 7? Baby steps.......

You can do this.

Love and hugs,
Uni

[tiptronic_ct]

So, when I post..I don't drink..coincidance?

Hang in there, crybaby.

You've got support here - we know the pain. We're in this together. I have never had the kind of support I'm getting here. I know MWO is going to make my journey easier and help to motivate me. I also felt cr*p this morning, but I'm not giving up without a fight! And this coming from someone who hasn't been AF for a single day in over 15 years!

[Cinders]

So, when I post..I don't drink..coincidance?

Crybaby,

I have gone through that same cycle more times than I can say.

However, my lapses have gotten farther and farther apart and shorter in duration.

Like you, moderation is not an option for me. It is that simple. Once I open this trap and pour in some alcohol, that is the end. I drink all the alcohol available. Even stuff I hate.

If you try to look too far down the road, you will choke. None of us want to say, at least in the beginning of this journey, I will not ever have alcohol again. It is just too darned daunting.

Take is one day at a time, or a week, and Uni's suggestion of making a doable goal and do it in baby steps.

Hang in there and don't give up.

Cindi

[OverIt2007]

So, when I post..I don't drink..coincidance?

Crybaby,

It does not sound sick, that is the way our addicted brains work. In our heads, two drunk wasted days is not as bad as 5 drunk days, but still it is not the progress we are hoping for.

And as everyone says, that alcoholism is a progressive disease, so soon those two days drunk in a week, will quickly jump back up to 5 drunk days in a week.

On this past Saturday, I had 3 days sober as well. I thought I could "moderate" too. Ended up with two bottles of wine in me and some of a 6 pack of beer. So much for moderation.


It is about progress, just keep trying and learning. You will get there if you really want it.

[me1455]

So, when I post..I don't drink..coincidance?

hey you, i dont know, compared to myself and many other members on the board that doesnt sound bad to me at all!

[savon19]

So, when I post..I don't drink..coincidance?

Woo hoooooo, Overit! 3 days AF is Fantastic!

You said the key words: "You will get there if you really want it."

Or, I think I read someplace, "If you want to Not drink MORE than you want to drink... you will not drink!" I think that's true of any addiction. No matter the withdrawals, etc. (Although it's possible people may have died due to withdrawals, I think Many more have died continuing their addiction!)

Moderation is not an option for me. My personal belief is that if you can consistently moderate, you don't have a problem!!