Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

[Liath]

Hi everyone,

I thought I was doing pretty well here. I went 12 days AF. After that I thought I could moderate? I need to realize that I can't do it! I ended up on a 2 day binge. I cant function today. Time to start again. I am really down on myself and I know this makes everything worse. I am in a vicious cycle. The difference is that I am actively trying NOT to drink and still messing up. Before I didnt even try. Is this progress? Anyone else need to start over today?

Liath

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I'm with you Liath and hopefully forever this time for me. I know I can't moderate. Let's do this together :wd:

[JS81]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath - You are not alone in this. I went 35 days AF and on Campral. I felt as strong as I have in awhile. Then my old habits returned and ruined my weekend. I managed to stay clean Sunday so I'm on day 2 now. Trying to rebuild.

[DoneDrinkin]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Good luck Liath,

I tried the moderation route many times, and finally realized it just wasn't for me. For me, it was a slippery slope that always, rather quickly, led to me drinking way too much.

If you really want to quit, you will do it. Find other things to fill your time, because you'll have a lot of it available!

Keep reading and posting.

Stay strong,
--Steve

[ragdoll]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath: I want to be with you in this. I really, really want to try again. Like Kimberly I want this to be forever but may be we can all help each other.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I appreciate the support. Its really bad when your ruined weekend spills over into Monday. I had gained self confidence in the 2 sober weeks. I told myself I would never get into this situation again. Feeling horrible, not able to work, etc. But here I am anyway. I cant wait to put some time in between myself and my last bender so I can start to like myself again. I dont want to have something to hide. It sucks. AL is nothing but trouble.

Kimberly-

We start over today. Posting helps!

[42cat]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath;642804 wrote: The difference is that I am actively trying NOT to drink and still messing up. Before I didnt even try. Is this progress?

YES! It's definitely progress. Every time you try (even if you mess up), you're learning and can build on it. Well done on your days AF. Here's to some more!

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Ragdoll-

I am so glad! Just think how great we will feel in a week! Everytime I binge I feel like it somehow erases the progress I have made. I cant continue with this. Must try to change for good.

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

That's what I felt like as well. After no binges for 4 months -and that was the most serious I had ever been to stop rather than moderate - binges became more and more regular.

I guess it felt like I'd failed already, so it was easier to just make that excuse. But I'm not going to accept that from myself anymore. We can start again and we can do even better this time. I will be with you every step of the way guys. I want my signature to be the truth this time.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I have been trying to get a handle on my drinking for months now. Before I knew I had a problem but told myself I'd deal with it later. I dont want to scew up again. Its too demoralizing. I have too many people counting on me. We cant let AL ruin us! I am turning 33 in a month or so. Past time to quit. I know better. I have all of the tools. (Supps, shrink, hypnotherapy CDs). No more excuses. If I try to go out to bars with my friends I will not be able to stop until next day or the day after that. So I will just go to work and come home mostly. I have to limit my exposure to AL and no bars ever. My boyfriend and I stopped drinking at home a month ago. (At my request)

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

How great that your boyfriend is being so supportive to do that. Mine left me a few weeks ago, yes mostly because of AL, which caused a major binge on my part. Even if we're together or not in future, I never ever want to hurt anyone as much as I hurt him ever again or my parents. Good incentive. I'm sure you will do it Liath. If you've done it for any amount of time, you can do it forever.

[Gearhead]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Yep! I'm with you. Drank this weekend. Lets get back on a healthy "binge".

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Welcome gearhead! I HATE how I feel after a binge. I hate the sense of disconnection. Did I make a fool of myself? Can I get through my workday? Is it going to happen again next weekend? I cant go out to bars.

Kimberely- I am sorry about losing your boyfriend. I have worried that my drinking would scare my man off. I dont want to lose him over AL. Its motivation since we live together now. He gets to see exactly how much I drink or the condition I get into after. We need to support eachother and try to be AF for good, right?

[Tulipe]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

HI Liath,
Welcome back. I am new - on Day 9 - but hope you feel good about getting back on track. At least your boyfriend is supportive, that is a great thing.
I look forward to seeing more of your posts,
Tulipe

[ronnie]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Liath, Im with you, I was modding but my drinking was creeping up so I am now going to do another 30 day and more and today is Day 1 A/F for me