Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

[prancy]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I can totally relate to being hyper sensitive to alcohol. It always seems like when I go out with friends, everyone drinks the same and I end up being to only one too sick to get out of bed. VERY annoying. But after 30 plus years of trying every way I can think of to moderate so I don't feel isolated, I am giving up. Day 8 here and optimistic!

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

New Me- I agree. A general sense of well being should be at the top of the list. AL wears us down physically and mentally. And I cannot imagine the hangovers I had being worse due to an oversensitivity. That is incentive not to slip up!

Prancy great job on 8 days.

Being present-
Yes, there is so much more to life than this battle. I did decide to go AF today but I have to make the conscious decision or hide out in my apartment which is dry at the moment. I am sick of thinking about it, sick of struggling with it. All because it has been such a big part of my life for years and years. Instead of drinking, I made a nice dinner, exercised, took the supplements and soon I am going to study a little for the GRE and get some sleep. Tonight the battle is won..

Take care everyone!

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi all,

Glad to read you all sharing some wise words today. I am a bit down tonight, so I will content myself with reading all your posts and insights and feeling glad I am AF at least.

Take care all,
Hopefully I'll be cheerier tomorrow,
Kim

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hang in there Kim. I know how you feel. I am very up and down myself today. But AF and thats what matters. Sooner or later I am not going to think about having a drink like 20 times a day when I decide to abstain, right? I do hope this gets easier!

[ronnie]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi everyone
I promise you all it does get easier with time, we just have to learn to kick that little voice out of our heads, when it decides to pop in.....
Just think of how you feel when you wake up in the morning hangover free and how you use to feel, just remember how much more you can get done in a day, instead of feeling ill and staying on the sofa all day......
The bad times will pass, try and keep really busy, try a new hobby, set yourselves goals each day to complete.
Try doing one day at a time, or one hour at a time or even 10 minutes at a time.
We are all in this together, and together we will beat this thing
There is a whole new life out there, and it has all of our names on it.... so lets see if we can grab it....

[cyntree]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I'm right there with you all - AF Day 3 (after a lot of false starts), but I'm staying connected here, and working the CDs and the supps. I truly don't want to go back. Something that has helped me: a visualization that Dill posted early in July Jamboree - a link to a guided meditation on choosing your path. It's been helping me alot. Check it out.

Good job everybody - just keep doing your best!

[darkie]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

way to go girl,,i with you .on day 4 ,still feel shame .guilt etc.but self pity is a wast of time,look to the future,and to the people around you ,your b/friend sounds to be a good chap,your lucky ,,,darkie

[Loobyloo]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hey all

I find reading your messages a constant source of support and encouragement. Kimberley thanks for the walks link, I can't wait to scour it for ideas, cheers! Cheers Liath too, I am on AF day 6 and I have had a couple of wobbles but keep drinking my ginger cordial and reading the posts here and they spur me on. Now when I wake up in the mornings I feel just plain normal tired, as opposed to AL tired. I know that this is me having my OWN feelings throughout the day each day and not my AL clouded feelings. Someone at work today told me I look different and I told myself that's because I am AL free! No one has ever seen me like this before as I am always suffering from the night before, ALWAYS. I am not so puffy-faced now and I have more of a spring in my step and want to achieve stuff in the evenings when I get in from work, not just loll about on my fat ass glugging bottles of red wine like I normally do! someone on here recently said that this to them is like writing a travel journal or diary, it feels like that for me too, like a therapy, I can share my feelings with you and you may choose to read them or not but I KNOW you understand what I am going through. I read so many of your posts and I just sit here nodding and smiling the whole time. MWO is a beautiful thing! Thanks for having me here. My day is nearly through today and I am so thankful to be keeping the demon away for another day. Cheers Cyntree for sharing the visualisation that you got alot from, I am gonna check it out now.

Love to all xxxxx

[willowyc9]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

starting again

hi, ive been starting and stopping too, always something. i feel so sttressed all the time. I totally have the problem of not stopping after two glasses of wine. when I do it's awesome but i sit up watching tv and I kill a whole bottle. but i'd love to feel better about myself. the hangovers are deadly

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

A question - what is it I want??!

Loobyloo it's great to hear you doing so well. I am necking back the ginger ale as I type - I think that's a popular drink among the AF - it has a nice kick!

Great to see more people joining the thread - welcome all.

I have a question for anyone that can answer it. I was walking home today from my counsellor (gotta keep my crazy ass in line somehow) and I was really thinking about having a drink. I had a difficult session and I was surviving OOLAT (one off licence at a time)! I was just walking and NOT going into the next one until I had passed them all and was home and I knew I couldn't be bothered to go back out again.

But as I walked, I was thinking about it and I realised I didn't want a drink. I craved the idea of sitting there safe and having a 'comforting drink', but when I thought about what it would ACTUALLY be like to have alcohol, I realised that was not what I wanted at all. I didn't want the shivery feeling of the first big mouthful out of the bottle (Martell ususally, since you ask) and I didn't want to slowly lose control and all of that.

It was not that I was put off by all the bad side effects (ruined sleep, bad head pressure the next day), although clearly I didn't want them either. But I didn't want the effects or process of alsohol at all.

I know my al-trained brain tells me the answer is always a drink. But I couldn't figure out what it was that I actually wanted when 'al brain' told me I wanted a drink

Was it that I wanted a 'treat' to cheer me up? A hug? A bit of peace? To relax? What would have made me feel better? I still can't figure it out and I can't put my finger on what I actually wanted. Thank goodness I thought about the reality of having a drink and didn't do it, as otherwise I might well have just thought it was a craving and caved in!

Sorry if this is totally confusing, I'm not always good at explaining what I mean!

:thanks: if any geniuses out there can help me!

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Kim and the gang-

Ironically, I also just got back from my therapist. She is thrilled with my news of publishing the paper. She literally jumped up and down a little. We spent so much time talking about that stuff that we only had like 10 minutes to talk about my old pal AL. But we touched on the subject of what am I really needing when I crave a drink? She brought up the analogy of a baby crying. to her it may sound like screaming and who knows why, but the mom knows that the kid is hungry or needs to be changed or whatever. We need to figure out what we are lacking when we crave a drink. Whether it is sleep, food, a hug, etc.. Don't they say hunger is a major trigger? Boredom? Anxiety? So Kim, there is no easy answer to that question, what do you need when you have a craving. It could be a number of things. We just have to learn to figure it out rather than taking the easy way out and drinking. (my therapist insists drinking is actually the hard way due to the repercussions) Just think, if I am hungry and I drink, I am that much more hungry when I finally sober up. I didn't do myself any favors by hitting the bottle. But there was a persistent, sneaky voice in my head that told me to get off the bus at the liquor store (right after seeing the shrink! For shame!) I was in a good mood but very hungry. Went home and ate, and it did take the edge off. ODAT right all?

[The New Me]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath,

I am so gald you brought it up, becasue I thougt similar stuff today. My drinking was very much connected with low blood sugar. And because we as women think of dieting all the time, I have trained my brain to think "drink" versus "food" when my blood sugar goes down.
Of course, this is crazy, for alcohol has as much calories, if not more than food, but to drink to excess is insane, so I will leave it at that.
I do exactly what Liath did today when I have a craving - EAT! And -poooof - the craving is gone.

[NoraC]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

:new:I am so grateful that I found this site today. I never knew that there was anyone who understood. Thank you all for being here. I am sucking down the ice tea today. Maybe I'll have to try the ginger ale. I just heard my husband throw out our trash. The clink, bash, bam of all the bottles. I am going to love when trash day comes and there won't be anybody digging in my trash can to collect all my bottles. Something to really look forward to. :H

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

NoraC :welcome:
I am glad you found the site too. I really don't think I'd be doing this well without it. If you stick around here you will find a ton of advise and support. We are all struggling to get a handle on this issue, and learning as we go. Alcohol has caused all of us so much trouble, its ridiculous to keep abusing it. Have you read the My Way Out book yet? Thats a great place to start. Also, please feel free to post away! We are here to support eachother and make PROGRESS.

[Unhappy]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi All

Liath;642804 wrote: Hi everyone,

I thought I was doing pretty well here. I went 12 days AF. After that I thought I could moderate? I need to realize that I can't do it! I ended up on a 2 day binge. I cant function today. Time to start again. I am really down on myself and I know this makes everything worse. I am in a vicious cycle. The difference is that I am actively trying NOT to drink and still messing up. Before I didnt even try. Is this progress? Anyone else need to start over today?

Liath

Liath,

Hi i am in the same boat since monday i stoped drinking for 5 weeks then on monday i thought that i could go for just one drink and believe me that did not help i lost my girlfriend because of that one drink and she is the best person in my life how do i change i dont ever want to drink again i am 31 years old and need to make a plan where and how do i start