Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

[Unhappy]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Thanks yes i need all the help i can get not to go and drink again i hardly ever drink but when i do it seems like i want to catch up with my lost time and binge then like you cant believe.I dont know where to start that the fiance will just give us a chance again i feel like i have failed in life

[sparkleAZ]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi everyone, I am really struggling staying A/F. This is my first week and I drank the last 2 days which means I was only sober for 5. I am very disgusted with myself. I started the day out strong yesterday but by the end of the day I caved in. Today is a new day and I want it to be an A/F one. I ordered the book and it hasn't come in yet. I am taking Kudzu and L-Glutamine but maybe I need something stronger.

[Unhappy]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Just be strong

sparkleAZ;664613 wrote: Hi everyone, I am really struggling staying A/F. This is my first week and I drank the last 2 days which means I was only sober for 5. I am very disgusted with myself. I started the day out strong yesterday but by the end of the day I caved in. Today is a new day and I want it to be an A/F one. I ordered the book and it hasn't come in yet. I am taking Kudzu and L-Glutamine but maybe I need something stronger.

Its not that easy but if the mind set is rite i think and believe that you can do it,we all have the same problem i lost my fiance because i went drinking on monday after i have been sober for 4 weeks i have messed it up in a big way and wish that i have never done it

[sparkleAZ]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Unhappy, I am so sorry to hear about you fiance. Maybe you can prove to her that you can stay sober. She probably feels let down and hopefully she will give you another chance.

[NoraC]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I just woke up and here I go onto day number 2. So far so good. But, of course, I'm still laying here in bed and haven't gone out into the stresses. :H
I started taking my Topamax yesterday. It had helped when I first started it but I don't think that the Dr. worked with me and helped me increase the dosage. She just left me on the beginning dose. I need to talk to her about that but I just do NOT want to go in there again. So, I'm going to get back on this dosage for a few weeks and then talk to her. I also have Lorazepam for when I can't sleep.
So - here I go.........learning to live my life without using the crutch of alcohol.

:thanks: so much to everyone here. You have helped me so much by sharing your stories. I know now that I'm not alone.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Welcome sparkle and unhappy! You have come to the right place. I may not be the BEST person to give advise considering I am still struggling myself but here goes.

Unhappy-
I have done the same thing as you know from my original post. Part of what is motivating me is that I have put my boyfriend through a lot with my drunken episodes. He has been patient with me but every person has their limits. I have been doing OK these past couple of weeks, no insane binges. But the possibility is always there if I let my guard down. I don't know about you but I have always drank to get drunk. These old habits are very hard to break. And I will tell you this, if your sobriety is tenuous its a bad idea to go out with your buddies to the bars. You know how its going to end up. The same way it ends up for me. Messy, wasted, regrettable....................................... ..... and on and on...

So, where should you start? First off, how did you manage 5 weeks AF before this recent binge? What is it that triggered you to drink after all that time? Personally, most of my friends are lushes and my social life has always seemed to revolve around AL. I have to be very careful about hanging with these people now and mostly I avoid them. Also, have you read the MWO book and tried any parts of the program? Its no silver bullet but a good place to start. I want to help so keep posting!

And everyone try to remember that this is a PROCESS. Most of us are going to experience setbacks but you are here so you have acknowledged the problem.:goodjob:

[Unhappy]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Thanks so much for the reply.Well i dont know what to say to her just to stand with me and lets do this together i dont want to do this alone.I want her back in my life we never have fights ever when i am sober and i only drink once in a few weeks and i dont know why......but all i know is that if i cant get her back then all of this will be for nothing

[8Belles]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Catching Up

Glad to read all your positive thoughts and also even the "down days" as I haven't been on in a week or so. The week hubby was gone I had an incident. He called and insisted that I sounded like I was drinking even though I wasn't. I was so angry and hurt the next day I bought a pint of vodka and had a couple drinks every night after the kids went to bed saying to myself "If I'm going to be accused of it, I might as well". I need to learn how not to let him turn my not drinking into some sort of control issue. Anyways, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. In the old days it would have been a fifth of vodka in two days. Didn't even taste or feel good anyways. Had my biopsy done and looks like its normal so good news!

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Unhappy- I know how you feel but you need to do this for yourself as much as for her. Perhaps you can tell her how you feel and find out where she stands on all of this. Has she given you some kind of ultimatum about never drinking again? Have you agreed and then broken the promise? Maybe she feels she can't trust you anymore. I know I have been pretty mean to my man after drinking. He is fine if I drink but not if I get wasted. Its tough to stay in control for people like us though! Be sure not to make promises you can't keep to your girlfriend. This is very detrimental to a relationship. Like I said before, we are here for you!

8Belles- Its sounds like you had a bit of a setback but not a full blown binge. Progress! I am glad you are back and please stay close!

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

On the subject of progress-

Yesterday my paper was published ahead of print in the scientific journal. I was ecstatic. I wanted to celebrate with my friends and so I went back to the old bar that I used to drink in 24/7. Danger! I am proud. I did not overdo it. I left when I planned to even though my friends were lining up to buy me drinks. The friend I went with stated on the walk home that he was very impressed with my progress. The old me NEVER would have left that bar in spite of the obvious consequences. ODAT, but I do plan to have a sober weekend. Celebration is out of the way and I have no desire to set foot in a bar again any time soon.

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Unhappy, you do definitely have to do it for yourself. If you get motivation from not wanting to lose your girl, then great. But you should also be motivated by wanting a better life where you are not a hungover mess every three weeks. If she leaves, then you have nothing left to be sober for, so you have to want it for yourself to succeed. And I'm sure you don't want to be unable to survive if the worst happens and you don't end up together.

Grrr, 8Belles, your hubby makes me really angry. I have had that situation sooo many times - you get accused of drinking and think well screw it then! Now though, when I get accused, I just get angry and upset and leave the bottle alone. You need to look at it from a different perspective. Instead of feeling hard done by, think how much stronger you can be by withstanding the lack of trust of others and trust in yourself. Sorry about your slip, but very glad you didn't go overboard. Good for you and a big hug!

And Liath, what can I say - you keep giving yourself tests and passing with flying colours. Very proud of you. Just don't get complacent and you'll be brilliant!

Hey to all on the thread, keep posting tonight as I am on my own and it's raining cats and dogs here. Give me some inspiring messages! Or just rant, whatever ;-)

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Friday

Hey all-

Its Friday night and I am definitely staying in so I can keep you company Kim. Someone called in sick and I was able to stay and work a little OT to help out. Could not have managed this hungover! I also volunteered to help out for a few hours on Sat and Sun. Part of my strategy for staying sober is filling my time with productive endeavors! Overtime is more than worth it. My boyfriend is going out of town tomorrow, however. I have to be sure I don't use this as an excuse to party. Instead I will enjoy having the house to myself and maybe just relax for a change!

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hey gang-

Things have been quiet this weekend! I hope everyone didn't fall off the wagon! I did manage to survive the weekend without binging. I stayed home and watched episodes of Heroes online rather than meet my friend out at the bars last night. I was kind of lonely but had to resist the urge to party like crazy just because my boyfriend was away and I could get away with it. Today, I feel fine so it was worth it!

How is everyone else doing? I need an update!

[stopthecycle]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I drank last night-not to happy with myself

[seila1]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I am there with you Laith and all. I've been off an on form months but this weekend was particularly bad. I am waking up Monday feeling guilty and shameful. I didn't know what to do so I came here to feel a bit better and found you posts. It has made me feel better to know I am in good company. I will be willing to start over with you. For me it is the lonliness that sometimes gets the best of me. I didn't have plans this weekend at all an for some reason this hit me fairly hard. So, I guess all I can do is start again and know that I've this place as a refuge. What I can understand is why I can't just NOT go to the liquor store.