Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hello everyone. Joanne, I am the same way when I drink. No control, acting crazy, etc.. Keep posting here and you will get understanding and support.

I am using the CDs and they seem to help a little. Its hard to take the time every day to listen to them, though. I really like the concept of expelling negative thoughts in the clearing CD. The hypnotic CD actually suggests things about handling alcohol better. I figure that they can't hurt and the concept makes sense so I am going to keep trying.

Ronnie, I can relate. I had a minor slip up. I had a limit and went over it but not too bad. I do know where this leads so I am the DD tonight. We are on our way to see Bob Dylan and this the first show of the tour. I will have more fun not dealing with overpriced drinks and being more aware. I am irritated with myself right now, but with the weekend looming ahead I need to get right back to business. I am NOT wasting another weekend on AL. Everyone stay strong!

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Just a little shout-out to Paula - thanks for posting and I do feel for you. At least you are asking for help and it is great that you have a supportive family. Take whatever help you can and we will all be here to support you.

Based on the fact that people seem to be popping in and wanting to join due to slips, benders and frustrations, I have decided I am going to try and make you all feel better by posting some of the terrible things I did when Al had a hold of me, because things are so much better now so you will see you can come from the depths and surface again better than ever.

Joanne - lots of people around me used to say I was a different person when I drank. Right from when I was 18 I was told by one of my best friends that when I'd had more than a few, I 'turned' and got a bit aggressive. Not massively, but she could notice it and didn't like me so much. After a while, my dad started saying - much to my horror - that being with me when I was drinking was like a stranger had taken me over.

I used to do things I wouldn't dream of doing now - shagging random men in public places, shoplifting, prostitution (yes it got that low). I look back on that 'me' and feel nothing but pity and sorrow for the best years of my life wasted like that. The good news is that since sobering up (a year of lapses, rather than relapses, and only about 3 incidents which were worrying/shameful) my dad says he couldn't be prouder of me, it's like the real me is back. He says he loves nothing more than when I go to stay with him and we talk and laugh and it's like I'm really back again.

We even sort of laugh now about how I ruined his 60th birthday dinner by turning up 3 hours late, spilling food all over the table and then falling asleep on my plate. :-O You know why, because for his 64th birthday I promised him I was getting sober and staying sober and that is that.

So you see even the deepest embarrassments and shames can be erased or at least lessened if you take some steps towards getting better. Don't just drink on because you can't face the guilt - make it better, so you don't have to feel guilty anymore. That lesson took me a long time to learn.

Anyway, signing off for the night - I wish you all luck and am here for you all as you have been for me.

[paula]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Thanks Kimberly, and well done on your achievments. I went to an AA meeting tonight, and actually managed to share my feelings. Everyone was so supportive. Goodnight all, hope I can sleep it's so hot.

[ronnie]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Everyone
Joanne I used to drink due to stress then I started taking vit. B which really helped me, maybe should should give it a go, you can pick them up in any health food shop or chemist.
Well it sounds as if everyone is doing really well, I am now on day 2 and apart from getting a head cold I am doing great.
Its winter here in Western Australia so its pretty chilly at the moment but no where near as cold as the UK gets, I hope all you UK people are enjoying the sun (while it lasts:H)

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

It's supposed to be summer here but the temp is only 60 F or so. Brr.

Today is a new day and I am waking up without a hangover. Its also my boyfriend's Bday and I am making him crab legs later. I took the day off and I have no major project going so I can actually relax!

On the subject of the 'drinking days': 5 years ago I came home after living out of state for a few years. I had just narrowly escaped an abusive, alcoholic boyfriend. I was damaged and so I went back to my old drinking haunts and pretty much just stayed drunk for a while. I was back around family and old friends so eventually I got it together. Even so, only 11 days ago I "slipped" and stayed out all night drinking and the first thing I thought of the next morning was a drink. Instead of dealing with the guilt, I found another drinking buddy and partied all day. That is the reason I am here. I can't do that to myself again..ever. Soo.. its time to get geared up for another weekend sans binging. Who is with me?

Last day out of control 6/21/2009

[Sharky]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath-
I'm in. No binging! Given the holiday weekend, I'm nervous about the upcoming holiday. Lot's of parties and gatherings to go to. On top of that I think I have gout in my foot -thought it was a bruised tendon but upon researching I see alcohol is a factor...hurts like hell.

Be strong! I will also

[ronnie]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Everyone
Well its day 3 for me today and I am doing really great at the moment, I am sooo busy I dont know what job to do first!!
Sharky I hope your foot gets better, have you been to the doctors about it?
Well I hope you all have a happy holiday in the USA
Love ronnie xx

[LBoogie14]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hello all. On day3. Feeling pretty good too. The last two days were a little difficult for me but waking up today without regrets, apologies, and guilt will get me through this Friday night of a holiday weekend. I definitley treated myself to a few too many cookies last night. But I figure I will cut myself a little slack in these first few days.
I keep thinking that I would love a drink. But then when I think of the feeling of needing the next one, and the next one, etc, it makes me not want the first one.
I plan on doing 30 days, then going to a secluded spot in the outdoors, and writing out what changes I have seen in myself. I am hoping that 30 days with a clear mind will only motivate me for another 30. Forever is a little overwhelming for me right now. And allowing myself to drink another day at this point also seems overwhelming.
I would really like to get the 10 weeks to give my poor liver some time to recuperate, but I will take it one day at a time until I reach 30. Then hopefully, take it another 30.
Good luck everyone.
And Paula. I have done the drinking and pills too. I have ended up in the hospital unable to leave until my blood alcohol level was below the legal limit because I threatened to harm myself. Not a good place. I too have issues from my past that haunt me that I need to deal with. And the one thing I've heard over and over again is that you can't heal until you are sober. Self medicating seems easier in the moment, but it only gets us deeper into despair. Good luck to you.

[Grim]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hello Boogie,

The secret is to take everything ODAT!

You will find that you will need to adjust here and there but it sounds like you are on the right track!

Keep it up, we are all here with you even though it is across the wide expanse of cybersapce. You can rest assured that you are certainly not alone!

Sharky, hope your foot comes right chop-chop.....am I correct in saying that AL increases the production of Uric acid, hence the gout?

Anyway to quote Tip (I hope you don't mind Tip??) "Onward and Upward". As we all know, fortune favours the brave, and I believe that we are a brave bunch of people who have put their hands up and said "Enough!!!".

Hope everyone has a great weekend and happy holidays to all in the US of A.

[LBoogie14]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Thanks Grim. I certainly feel among friends here. While I am not comfortable coming out publicly yet to the people I love (yet it really is the elephant in the room, I'm sure). I am comfortable talking on here. And right now, thats what I need. I just want to talk/write it out. Onward and upward.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hey everyone!

I have to confess that I am feeling really stir crazy on the beginning of the holiday weekend. I feel like I have to choose between sitting home alone by myself or meeting friends and running the risk of ending up on another bender. Though it is hard, I really want to have a SOBER, PRODUCTIVE weekend so I cannot give in to boredom or despair. Really, I have such a great life minus the out of control drinking, why would I want to risk screwing it all up again? I managed to 'celebrate' my boyfriend's Bday without getting drunk the last couple of days... Yet, what is the deal with that part of my brain that is telling me that I should go buy some beer right now?? OK, I am sure I will get through this if I keep posting and stay home as planned. This is the point when I would normally completely blow it. I am trying to change....... its hard!!

LBoogie, you are definitely among friends! Sorry I can't be more inspirational right now.

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi all,

Glad to see you all here on this lovely sober weekend. I just went out and had dinner with a friend and didn't feel guilty about ordering dessert, cos without al on the bill or in my calorie count, hell I can afford to. Yum yum!

And I can't wait to wake up tomorrow feeling good now this blasted cold has nearly gone. I might treat myself to an entire day on the sun lounger drinking iced cream soda and reading a book or two. Or whatever I feel like doing - I am free now and the world is my oyster.

I am really glad to hear such positive news from you all, especially Ronnie feeling so good, Liath celebrating a b'day without drinking, LBoogie sounding happy and all of the rest of you putting another af day under your belts - good for you. I am really in this for the long haul and I hope you all can stick with me.

Chin up to all who are finding it hard to be sober at the weekend -really that is the time you can celebrate your freedom most. Treat yourself - do something with the money you're saving on not buying al. Go get a massage, a pedicure, a fab new haircut, a new book, a new DVD, go on a day trip - beach, theme park, walk in the countryside - whatever you want. You will soon be appreciating all the things you can do which don't have to involve al, especailly in this brilliant weather. And remember it gets easier and easier the more sober time you do.

Keep smiling, Kim

[Lemonhead]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath and all -

Day 9 AF and still checking in everyday. Long holiday weekend and husband's customer gave him four bottles of red wine. Taking extra L-glut and sipping on ice tea or tonic and lime. I do wake up every morning with a sense of comfort/relief that I didn't drink the night before. Reading all the posts helps as well.

[DriftyAlison0]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

My flesh would love to mod but I know that its not for me. Its a sin to drink according to my faith and that includes Mods so for me I have to quit all the way.

[ronnie]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Everyone
Wow another day where everyone sounds so positive, thats GREAT, lets see if we can keep this up, especially for you guys in the USA on your holidays.
Its hard when you are trying so hard not to have a drink and all that seems to be happening is that all your friends are inviting you out to bars & clubs or round each others houses ect....
The only advise that I can give at this time is either make an excuse and not go or make sure you drive that way you KNOW that you CANT have a drink, or go to the party and set yourself a time limit and leave early. The next morning you will feel so proud of yourself that you have woken up at a decent time of the day and feeling great.

Everyone keep up the good work and most of all dont let yourself down!!!! You/We can and will get through this weekend.
Love ronnie xx