Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

:tsk: Bad wine, naughty wine! Stay in the bottle! Sit....stay!

Tehehehehe. Good for you Sparkle - I would say for anyone to successfully mod, NEVER two nights in a row would be a good thing to aspire to. If you can't do it, then you know you can't do it. If you see what I mean

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hey all. Busy week for me but I am still here, I have the birthday blues but I will try and cheer up!

Grace- I did not see the original post from you on this thread. If I had, I would definitely have responded to it. We are very supportive and non-judgemental here!!! Welcome!

[ruralmidwife]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I can get about a year of sobriety together then I let a vacation or an old trigger (linen tablecloths,candles,fancy restaurant) set me off and I drink again. fear of success? I don't know, but I do know the sober life feels much healthier. I gladly give up the hangovers, headaches, lying. I'm new to this site but I like it, I can feel the love and support, and I give you mine. ruralmidwife

[Cinders]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

rural,

:welcome:

Why don't you start a new thread, tell us a little bit about yourself and let us know what we can do to help you?

I am glad you are here.

Cindi

[sparkleAZ]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Kimberley,

Can't thank you enough for the finger shaking. I did stay AF last night and it is good to have a reminder of what to do and what not to do. This is a very nasty addictive voice in my head wanting me to fail. I am strong, I am very strong.

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath, happy birthday! :bday3: If you don't want to celebrate it I will do it for you! I usually hate my bday too, but like other people's. If you want to celebrate my birthday in return, you are very welcome to do so

Sparkle I am glad my old womaly ways nudged you - I know that voice too, it is in my head much of the time.

Hope everyone is doing well. I felt quite positive (for a change) yesterday - I had the feeling like the LAST thing I would ever want at that moment was a drink. I LOVE it when that happens! I feel so free. Just gotta wag my own finger at myself here, because I know the voice will come back...

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

By the way, welcome Rural - a year is something massive to be proud of. I haven't got there yet, but am hoping to. I feel like singing the Beastie Boys song 'Sabotage' - its a bummer, but it happens.

[KrazyKatt]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

:new:
Count me in, as well. Day 1, for me, and I feel awful, mentally and physically. But I am hopeful I can finally quit, with some help. I am glad I found this place.

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Krazy a massive welcome to you. I know how bad day 1 feels, but I am so glad that you have found the strength to come here. Everyone will try their best to help you. I am glad you feel hopeful and we will all support you as much as we can.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi all-
How is everyone today? I am staying in and being good although I am frustrated with life today, big time. I am hoping that this negative mental state will pass. I am worried about some things that are out of my control.

I got super busy with birthday stuff the last few days, but today I am starting the CDs. I have to make the commitment here because half my problem is related to my attitude and my way of dealing with stress in life. (translation: if I get upset, irritated, lonely, depressed, etc I know just what to do. Drink!)
Well, I certainly need to clear my mind of negative thoughts! Must have a sober weekend!

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

OK, I am sure I sound like a broken record, but I cannot moderate at this time. I cannot promise I will never drink again but I am going to have to shoot for an AF lifestyle. Yesturday I planned to be AF, but then my sis wanted to hang out and brought wine. My friend showed up with a 6 pack of fancy 10% AL beer. I knew better to have more than 1 of those. Then my boyfriend bought another 6er. After several beers and wine 'the old me' took over. I picked a fight with my sis so I could ditch her and go out to the bar. I called a friend who will always drink with me. I ended up drinking all night, did not come home until early in the morning. I just now am able to eat after throwing up several times today! I had zero control over my actions last night. I am so ashamed.

I had the best of intentions when I started this thread. I never wanted to be in that sad state again. Yet HERE I AM AGAIN. I feel like I let everyone down. I have to use this to motivate myself to go AF. I cant handle the mod thing. UGH. Sorry! I am praying that this is the last time I have to post about my failure. I must say I feel like HELL today. I hope everyone else is doing better than I.

[startingover]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Liath, use this as a learning experience. Maybe this is the day that you turn your life around.
Good luck, you are not a failure, you just hit a bump in the road. If you were a failure you woulndt be posting here and willing to get back on the wagon.
All the very best to you.

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Liath,

Isn't it weird how we all seem to stumble at the same time? In too had a drink on Friday as a friend came round, but not until late so I somehow thought itn was a good idea to have a drink to fill in the time. I DID'T EVEN TRY!!!

The result of this is that I spent yesterday mostly sleeping it off and today being sick in the morning. I have started reading Allen Carr's EasyWay to control drinking in the hope that it can convince me to stick with my original plan of being AF.

Don't feel ashamed, Liath. I don't know anyone who has successfully modded. There may be some, but I don't know ANY. Look at it this way - you have learnt a very valuable lesson. It is much easier to commit yourself to being AF than it is to mod. Give yourself a break - go AF. Lots of hugs to you and I hope you feel better soon,
Kim X

ps Bah, I have to change my signature again!!!

[DancingGirl]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Liath,

If you are a broken record, so is everyone here. We are all here because we promise, stumble, and promise again. The main thing is to keep trying.

Can you not let your friends and family know (or at least some of them) that you are going AF for a while? Having even one ally will be a great help - someone you can rely on to gently remind you 'cos it sounds like they're undermining you right now.

Be strong, hand in, and get back up on that sober horse.
Love,
Dancer
:l

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Thanks Kim, starting over and dancing girl-

I still dont feel like myself today, jeez. And my boyfriend's parents are coming to town. Well, I am probably starving as eating was a risky thing for me yesturday. I hope that was the last time because I cant deal with the consequences of drinking anymore. And I am only talking about the short term consequences, who knows what we have really done to our bodies by drinking. Best not to dwell on that. All I know is that the AF life is safer for me right now. My test is less than 2 months away now and I am not ready!

Kim- We do seem to mess up at the same time dont we? I wonder how the rest of the crew is doing? I get worried for everyone's sake (including my own) on the weekends. Just think, most people live for the weekends but for us it is like walking through a minefield. Everywhere, people are drinking and we must navigate through that.

Happy SOBER Sunday. Day 1 for me as I was definitely drinking past midnight on Friday. Yesturday was a nothing day as I call them. I accomplished nothing, barely managed just to exist. How sad. Today is a little better. My boyfriend's parents are coming and I have never met his dad before. Nervous. Thank god I didn't have the bender last night!

Take care everyone!