Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Laith just a quick fly by to say I am glad you are feeling a little better, if not back to normal but it will get better just look after yourself. I enjoyed our chat last night and just want to offer support to you and anybody who is finding it a little tough going today. Keep strong, this can be beaten.

[brightlite]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi Liath,

Yes, great fun in chat last night. You really have a great sense of humor, I would have never known you were under the weather. Have a great day today.

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Ah Liath I just want to give you a big virtual hug! You are so sensible and rational, but al just gave you a big bite in the arse. I am feeling so bad I just want to drink, but I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow if I did, so I am listening to music to pass over this stage. I love Spotify and Muscovery. I am asking myself why I drank on Friday when I could've listened to music and it would've done the same thing.

I recommend Haddaway - What is love? - and then all the 80s stuff you liked. Crowded House etc. Hope you are feeling better

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Al kicked my ass, there is no doubt. I planned to have 2 very sober months while preparing to take the GRE. Ironically, I was supposed to start on Friday and instead I went on a crazy AL binge that left me completely destroyed the next day. Strangely, I would never eat and eat until I was sick or smoke and smoke until I could not breathe. Yet AL is different. Once I start, I have a VERY hard time stopping. Even with a limited amount of AL in the house, there is always a bar to hit up just blocks away. Then there is the liquor store that I have been known to stop at after work. This is embarassing but I have gotten off the bus and walked down the street a bit until the bus pulled away so everyone would not see me going to the liquor store AGAIN. Deep down, I know that drinking is wrong. Not inherently wrong as in evil but wrong for me, dangerous and destructive for me. Maybe someday I can moderate, but not now. For now I have to avoid avoid avoid AL. I can't NOT drink it if its in the house (that says something!) or if I am out with my friends. At least I am trying, however unsuccessfully. Thirty three is supposed to be my year. The year I get a handle on my drinking. (Before it was 30, then I gave up for a while) Now I am ready for change but I may need to ramble on to you guys a lot to stay sane. Thank you, thank you for understanding!!

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Ah sweetie, ramble all you want. I am doing day 1 tomorrow as I had a hair of the dog this morning. You wanna stick with me on this one?

[NoraC]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I'm back for Day 1......3 days off was not good. :upset: But, tomorrow will be day 1. I am going to be happy to be back on track.

[Cinders]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I just wanted to say to all who are struggling. Keep struggling. Otherwise you fail and THAT is not a good option.

Cindi

[Kimberley]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Thanks Cinders - that's a good point. I feel absolutely atrocious today so am "working from home". I made up a lie to my boss about having the landlord coming round. I hate that my alcoholism turns me into a liar. I am overwhelmed with guilt today and didn't sleep hardly last night. My head feels like it's in a vice! But at least I have stopped now.

I need to make sure I have plans at the weekends, as this is all down to lack of planning. I didn't even have bad cravings, I just thought "screw it". How do you get yourself to the point where you are convinced this is the last time this will happen? Because I have said it so often before, I just feel like I'm lying every time I start over. I DO want this to be the last time. How do I know I'm not kidding myself?

[sparkleAZ]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

I guess I'm not the only one who had a bad start to August. I had really over did on Saturday but I was able to stay AF last night and that is my plan for tonight.

We can not undo the past so we might as well just do the best we can today. Liath, I remember asking you what GRE standed for, is this a real estate related test? I had 2 licenses one in OR and the other in CA. Very stressful time no matter what it is for.

[NoraC]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Yes - I am starting over today. Drank 3 days in a row. Not a very good idea. But, today I am back on track and ready to join you AF.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Sparkles- GRE stands for Graduate Requisite Exam. It is a computerized adaptive test (harder questions the more you answer correct!) in Math, English, and Analytical writing. I am taking it for my graduate school applications which I intend to submit by Oct. 15th at the latest. Its the one last major hurdle I have to jump to get into a PhD program and its NOT fun. Must be AF to handle this.

[me1455]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

kimberly, i hear ya on ur post. i just started BACLOFEN and its really been working for many with no mental crazy side effects like topamax gives alot of people. its amazing, like a miracle. works with cravings and possibly moderating. id try it if i were everyone whos having trouble.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

so tired of being sick! DAY 1 AF

Kim, NoraC, and Sparkles-

Perfect! We all screwed up this weekend so we can start fresh AF today. I meant to start yesterday but met my friend at the pier by the lake and OF COURSE he had a 6er and OF COURSE I drank some of it. Did not get out of control but still felt bad today. I completely understand the frustration Kim. I wonder if I am lying to myself every time I say "I quit". Some days, on the way to work, I think "I will be AF today, don't even want to drink today." But then, sometime after lunch, another voice in my head says "I am in the mood for a pint after work, and why shouldn't I have one? Its just 1 pint, not a whole 6er so I can't get out of control." And hours later I am back at the damn liquor store.

I am so TIRED of failing. I just can't do this to myself anymore. I made it 12 days AF twice this year but seemed to slip right back into the old, destructive habits when I tried to moderate. This isn't getting any easier folks! So today I am feeling not so good, but AF. If we can make it through the first few days, it will get easier. So lets keep posting. My plan is to go to work and home and the grocery-- thats it. Must avoid all my drunkie friends and ask the BF to keep his beer at his studio space, again.

Tomorrow, we WILL feel better than today. Kim, we could start a thread about drinking and lying hon. I have told SO MANY LIES to cover my drunkenness/hangovers. Especially skipping out on work and then feeling horribly guilty. I could say a lot more about this!

[me1455]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

hockeymom, i m known as a "mean drunk" whats interesting is if i go out with girlfriends i dont haven fights with them but have fights with people that i normally fight with like my bf or dad...however im positive i do get bolsterous.. i think thats the word. like arrogant loud and demanding.

[Liath]

Today I start over again.. anyone want to join me?

Hi all! Did everyone make it through yesterday? I may start a 30 day thread here or somewhere. I have made a commitment to go thirty days and I am afraid/anxious/excited. I hope someone will join me!