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How to have fun without drinking

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    #1

    How to have fun without drinking

    Hi there

    I am new to this site but have realised that I need help.

    What I want to know is ? how do you have fun without alcohol? I am more of a social drinker but can never control my intake. Drink too quickly and then end up passing out. Our friends are also quite heavy social drinkers and I cannot imagine being at a get together and not drinking when everyone else is. My problem is that I don?t know when to stop and have black outs!

    :new:
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    #2
    How to have fun without drinking

    Welcome Lovebug! Glad you found the site. How do you have fun without alcohol? Hmmm, well it doesn't sound like you're having much fun WITH alcohol at the moment!

    So what is your question - is it what other activities can you and your friends do together without getting wasted or is it that you want convincing that going to the bar with your drinker friends and not drinking can still be fun?

    It would help if you could tell me what you enjoy about drinking alcohol (we already know some of the things you don't like about it).
    Recovery Coaching website

    "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

    Recovery Videos

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      #3
      How to have fun without drinking

      Hi Lovebug.
      Nice to meet you.

      I never had fun because I was drinking. I have fun because I'm doing fun things.
      Of course, drinking loosens my inhibitions, but they're there for a reason. To stop me making an arse of myself and to prevent me from hurting other people by saying and doing things that I normally wouldn't.
      I've stopped now and I'm so glad I did.
      I'm off to have some fun now

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        #4
        How to have fun without drinking

        Hi Kimberley

        We pretty much do the same thing every weekend. Get together for BBQ's and drink and watch a rugby game on TV or something. I am just not sure if I can still do that and enjoy myself without drinking. The crowd we hang around with are big drinkers and my husband enjoys drinking too. I want to still carry on as normal but control my intake but am not sure how! I always start off with good intentions but they always seem to go pear shaped

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          #5
          How to have fun without drinking

          Well the type of drinker I was and person I am means that I have no problem socialising with people who are drinking around me, although it took a bit of effort.

          It feels a bit weird at first, but after a few goes, you get used to it and really enjoy the new perspective. Being witty, rather than thinking you were witty. Remembering everything that happened. As Popeye says, not getting yourself into a mess and saying and doing stupid and dangerous things.

          The difficulty with controlling how much you drink is that as soon as you've taken that first drink, your inhibitions are lowered and you start to think "what the hell". Say you aimed for having four drinks, by the time you've had them, you're much more likely to think "screw it" and continue, even if your intentions were good at the start. This is why it is so difficult to moderate. A very few people can do it successfully, but I am not one of them!

          If you do want to moderate, could you try switching to a weaker drink? Diluting? Taking a soft drink before every alc drink? Make sure you're eating while drinking?

          If this isn't working would it be so bad just to try going to two or three get-togethers and not drinking just to see how it is? You could designate yourself as a driver or something if you need an excuse?
          Recovery Coaching website

          "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

          Recovery Videos

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            #6
            How to have fun without drinking

            Hi, Lovebug, and welcome.

            My pattern of drinking is somewhat different to yours, so I won't venture to give lots of advice.

            The one thing I do recomment is that you keep on posting here - the exchange of ideas and thoughts will help you to crystallise exactly why it is that you're seeking help, and what it is that you want to achieve.

            Good luck!

            Tip
            I'll do whatever it takes
            AF 21/08/2009

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              #7
              How to have fun without drinking

              Nice to meet you, Lovebug!

              I was an alone-drinker (I don't have any friends to socialize with - lol)... So no real advice, but maybe you can take something away from my own strategy:

              I have managed to quit drinking a fifth of hard liquor a day, morning to night. However, I do now have a light beer or two if/when I feel so inclined. This is working for me ONLY because I have set very, very strict rules for myself -- NO drinking alone, a strict time frame (between 9:00 and 10:00 at night only, and not every night), full glass water in between, or a tea, food in my belly ... and Very Importantly: I'm not to have one if I'm "craving" it or if I'm upset, because in that mindset I am more likely to have more.

              I know a lot of "my" things don't apply to you. But I guess I'm saying that if you are sure that you want to continue/moderate drinking, maybe you can find some "control" in setting some rules for yourself and, hopefully, following them ... such as was mentioned by others .. drinking slowly, adding a non-alcoholic drink in between drinks, mixing weaker drinks, or whatever works for you.... I also found that even when I was drinking, and my inhibitions were lightened, I always knew in the back of my mind when I was going too far, or about to go too far. Listen to yourself.

              Sorry I can't be of any real help, as I'm not in your situation. But you do have some great advice up there from others. Best wishes to you!

              P.s.... Your thread was re. "having fun" without drinking .... It might be fun to observe others drinking, and how they change, how silly they get, etc. .... And if you're sipping on something non-alcoholic, they may not even notice ...... Also, after you try an AF get together a couple of times, you'll likely find that you'll have just as much fun as before. Give it a try - what's the worst that can happen? You won't explode .. lol .. and you always have the option of caving and having one if it gets too uncomfortable, but I'm sure it won't.
              AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

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                #8
                How to have fun without drinking

                Hi Lovebug,

                Welcome to MWO! You've found a good place, lots of useful help & support available here.
                I highly suggest you get 30 AF days under your belt to get some perspective then decide if you really want to continue drinking to 'have fun'. I found it's quite easy to have fun when you're not making an ass out of yourself & passing out, etc. It's fun to wake up without hangovers. It's fun to have all that extra cash in you wallet. Are you getting the idea??

                Give it a chance, you just really may enjoy yourself.
                All the best!
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                  #9
                  How to have fun without drinking

                  Welcome LoveBug!!!


                  Hope you find this site helpful and useful. We are all here to help one another...


                  I had a small group of friends I was hanging out with about 5 years ago. Our whole friendship seemed to be based around on heavy drinking and doing X.

                  I hate to say this, but when I decided to change my life a bit, I realized that I did not really have as much in common with these people as I thought. It was all kind of a lie.

                  I have lost touch with many of them, and would prefer to keep them at somewhat of a distance if I did see them again.

                  Your friends may be alot closer to you than mine were, but maybe you want to re evaluate some of your friendships? They might be more harmful to you than good.

                  Just a thought.... Best of luck to you!!!
                  I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

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                    #10
                    How to have fun without drinking

                    I just am so glad I found this site. I am new and starting a 30 day abstinence. I agree with those who say that even with the best intentions after one or two drinks your resistance goes down. Trying it cold turkey right now with no help from what is offered by MWO but intend on buying into the program if I fail at my attempt at a 30 day abstinence. I am so grateful for all the encourgaging words I am reading and it feels good to know that I am not alone.
                    Tipplerette

                    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                    ? Lao-Tzu

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                      #11
                      How to have fun without drinking

                      Hi Tipplerette,

                      Welcome! Glad you found us too.
                      By all means, download and read the MWO book, it's full of useful information and will help you formulate a plan for yourself.
                      Do lots of reading here, it really helps

                      Wishing you the best.
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        How to have fun without drinking

                        Hi Lovebug,
                        I'm new here too but I've been going out while DH drinks and other do but I don't. No one notices that I'm not drinking. One thing that makes it fun is that with a sharper mind I am not a bump on a long because I have more to say, and some of the things are even funny! I notice that others get quieter after a certain amount but they don't notice it. That part isn't fun, but being about to process things fast and think quickly is a good feeling. It's also fun to think that a piece of chocolate is less calories than 4 glasses of wine so I can go for it with no second thoughts.
                        Best wishes,
                        Tulipe
                        Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.
                        AF since May 6, 2010

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