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**universal** · July 2, 2009, 06:04 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Hi Yoga momma -

Wow, do I ever know those nights. I have an 8 year old and in the past there have been many nights that I have barked at her to just go to bed (earlier than she should) all because I had been drinking too much. I have embarrased myself and my BF on so many occassions I cannot even count!

Talk to your husband. I am not sure what your relationship is like but you are right that your son will be very forgiving (he was probably tired at 10pm anyway and ready for bed). Your husband and yourself maybe just need to sit down and chat. I am not sure what your drinking patterns are or how much you want to share but sometimes it's the kick in the butt we need to go "okay, you know what? I either get a handle on this or I lose my relationship". I know that's what got me to my current 21 days AF.

I hope you are able to work things out - keep posting, keep trying. You'll be okay.

Love and Hugs,
Uni

**Yogamomma** · July 2, 2009, 06:11 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Thanks SO much Uni. Son has, since, woken up and I told him that I owed him an apology. We talked about how I made bad choices and that I'd never want to lose him as a friend. He's fine as can be now but the hubby's still in bed.

Re: drinking patterns, my husband works for a wine company and it's around regularly. We drink more than the average family but I keep it under control 99% of the time. There have been a handful of times, like last night, that just rock the boat. Probably 7-8 times now in our 15 year relationship. Last night was the first time it has ever come to me barking at our son. I try to rationalize with the fact that he's out of school now and we hang out together almost all day, every day...absolutely room for getting on eachothers' nerves. But I can't use that excuse since I was drinking.

Well, one challenge down. One more to go. He'll be angrier if I go up and wake him up so I'll remain here in purgatory. More to come and thanks, again, for your reply Uni.

**universal** · July 2, 2009, 06:17 AM

Back and not loving this morning

I agree, let him sleep in. Honestly if there have really only been 7-8 times where things have gotten out of control in 15 years I am sure you guys will be able to sort things out. Man, I had 7-8 times with my BF in the last 6 months! (insert shame here.......)

Make some coffee, let him come to you and have a good chat. I have faith things will all work out for the best!

Hugs - have a good day hon.

Uni

**gyco** · July 2, 2009, 06:22 AM

Back and not loving this morning

hi momma,like you said its been a while,thats what usually happens with our kind,then the guilt from others fills are hearts,im not justifying what you did,but you no where you went wrong, i hear it day after day,so you had one bad nt, its not like your on a bender,get back on the band wagon,theres many here like you,,including some one i no dearly ? remember what you said,everyone sat around and expected good little house wife to provide,next time let hubby do all the preparing , maybe hill understand,everyone deserves a good one once in a while,hope it helps gyco

**dill** · July 2, 2009, 06:26 AM

Back and not loving this morning

"okay, you know what? I either get a handle on this or I lose my relationship". I know that's what got me to my current 21 days AF.

That statement is true for many of us, to be sure. Some spouses/partners don't threaten to leave, but alc damages what could be an otherwise healthy relationship. The way I see it, we have to choose which relationship is more important: your relationship with alcohol or with your HB/partner. Then put effort and time into the one you choose.

yogamama, I hope you can work things out. Never give up!

**Yogamomma** · July 2, 2009, 07:21 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Thanks so much for the words, y'all. I got through it and it wasn't that bad...prayed for courage this morning and it was given to me. I went up to get dressed and my husband asked "did you talk to him?"...meaning my son. His comment to me at 3 a.m. was that I'd need to apologize in the morning. I replied that I had and told him the basic details and he was satisfied with that...after all is was the boy who was wronged. I left it at that, then...the morning was quite as usual. I made sure we sat at the breakfast table together and was awarded a reassuring pat on the hip before he headed for work. Granted the little episode last night wasn't horrific but I just wonder why we are our own worst enemies sometimes...

Glad to be back here. Day 1...

**universal** · July 2, 2009, 07:24 AM

Back and not loving this morning

I'm glad everything worked out for you! Sometimes we are our own worst enemies in worrying. Chalk it up to experience and enjoy your day with your son.

**OverIt2007** · July 2, 2009, 07:39 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Its true we always hurt the ones we love most, especially when drinking, and get grumpy.

Last week, I got really angry (while drinking of course) at our puppy. He was hiding under the bed and would not come out. I got so angry I flipped the bed over. My 5 year old son saw this.

I cannot tell you how ashamed I was the next day.

From what I can gather, it sounds like things have smoothed over. Sounds like you are a great Mom too, the way you apologized to your son was very sweet and smart way to handle things. Your husband seems like a good guy too.

Its over now, so just make the efforts to not be in this position again Momma. Im telling you this, but I am actually telling myself all this as well. Our families never deserve a screaming mean drunk (meaning me)

Nice to see you back!!! Stay strong.

**Tulipe** · July 2, 2009, 07:49 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Hi Yoga Mom,
I've been there right with you. I'm glad your son was sweet and I'm sure he appreciates your efforts. I hope things are ok with your husband too. Mine has said before that he understands tying one on once in a great while for whatever reason, but doing it every day is another deal. He was ok with me until, surprisingly, I went AF (well almost) by my own decision. Then he said some really horrible things to me that make me cry when I think about them. It's like he held the anger in until by my quitting it became apparent that it was a problem, and he lost it. "I didn't sign up for this" He yelled at me. About 5 days later when he saw I was serious about it, he said he was sorry and that he's been too hard on me.
I hope your relationship is on good ground. I wish you the best in keeping it all in balance.

**Evie.Lou** · July 2, 2009, 07:53 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Glad you're back with us !!.
No looking back. Eyes straight ahead on the prize...a happy sober future !!!

**Gearhead** · July 2, 2009, 09:08 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Live and learn. It is my kids that inspire me as well. I was buzzed and fell asleep about 5pm last Saturday while my kids and uncle were here. I didn't do or say anything bad but I felt so ashamed just the same and sad that I'd lost a precious time with my kids. t
To make matters worse, all the Saturday projects I'd done turned out like CRAP. Let's stay AL free together for the little people in our lives that think we are superheroes.

**tiptronic_ct** · July 2, 2009, 09:29 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Go for it, Gear!!!

It's worth all the effort!

**Yogamomma** · July 2, 2009, 09:43 AM

Back and not loving this morning

I forgot what a help this community is and I'm truly grateful for each and everyone of you chiming in this morning. It's like a little private hell when one of these "situations" happens and it takes a couple of days before everyone gets really back to normal...even just in my own head, you know? I'm trying to ignore that and look towards the positive side of not allowing myself to let that happen ever again.

Very good point about missing opportunities with the kids, Gearhead. I don't want my son to remember those instances, like last night, or the "in bed too early" times when he grows up. Off to read some books with him that we just picked up at the library. Onward and upward!

**Lavande** · July 2, 2009, 09:44 AM

Back and not loving this morning

Yogamomma,

Thanks for sharing your story of the events of last evening. Serves as a reminder to me that alcohol is just not worth it. I was a wine abuser too! Made an idiot of myself more times than I can tell you.
I'm so grateful & relieved to know that is never going to happen to me again - no way!!

Hope everything works out for you

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