Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

    Newly sober (1 month) ... it took a long time to get here ... Feeling grateful .... and ... I shall babble:

    I've been here since 2007. No, wait, that's just with this name. I was here before that under another name that I don't remember. I never posted back then except for a post sharing my "story". I think I talked about "where did the time go" with regard to my kids growing up, things I have missed, etc. I'm actually recently new to posting. It took me this long! (Don't let it take you this long .. lol)

    Back then, I couldn't understand how people could just give up drinking. HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS? ..... I felt "different" because I couldn't do it; I didn't want to do it...... But, really, I must have wanted it - otherwise, why was I on this site? Why did I seek it out? I don't even remember how I found it.

    I couldn't relate to many of the posts .... "I'm 3 days AF" ... "I'm one week" ... "30 days" ... "One year!".............. Heck, I didn't know how to get to sleep without drinks, let alone go days in a row. What would I do with myself? How can these people possibly be happy? Jeez, life must be so boring and lonely for them.

    But, at the same time, I sooooo ached to be like the people in those posts. I knew many of them were still struggling, but to have the strength to "try" to be AF ... wow, that amazed me. ...... To have the courage to let go...... I read those posts - all of them - but I couldn't get over the hump of being afraid to try. I couldn't get the motivation. I didn't want it "enough".

    I wondered: What does it take to suddenly have an overwhelming desire to give up alcohol and change your life? What happened to these people, that they feel this way now after drinking for so long? Is it some big life-changing happening that turns your mind around all of a sudden? .... I waited for it. Waited, waited, waited. Longed for it. Prayed for it................ Nothing.

    Then one day, "my" thing happened ... Not sure why, or how. Maybe I'd read enough, maybe something someone said started a thought process in my mind, maybe I related to someone or something ... Maybe it was just a convergence of thoughts, ideas and lots of googling, hunting for my "thing", for what would work for me.

    Something happened. After all of my reading .. my hunting... something happened to me. I really WANTED it. I wanted sobriety. I wanted to be normal. I wanted OUT. I wanted to live. I was more afraid of drinking my life away than of giving it up. It's like I was teetering, both sides balanced almost equally, but then suddenly one side got stronger ...... I realized how much I totally hated alcohol and what it was doing to me. It was hurting me in so many ways. I wanted to be happy and clear and normal and healthy. I wanted my life. A real life.

    I'm new to sobriety and still really excited about how it feels. To anyone who's trying to figure out how to get out of this hole: .. DON'T STOP SEARCHING. Your answer is out there. Keep reading. Keep learning. Keep wanting. Keep trying.

    Something, at some point, will click for you.

    Thanks for listening.
    AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

    Thanks for sharing that with us. It took me from DEC. 07 till May 08 of just reading, praying and not wanting it enough to MAKE it happen for myself !!

    Everyone who is still struggling NEEDS to know that it can happen for them as well.......JUST NEVER STOP TRYING !!!
    sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

    Comment

      #3
      Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

      Thanks for listening, you guys!
      AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

      Comment

        #4
        Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

        Now, that was an awesome message! So helpful, encourageing and inspiring! Thank you for sharing.
        Dill

        Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

        If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

        Comment

          #5
          Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

          You are such wonderful role model! Thank you for the post and the thoughts.

          Comment

            #6
            Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

            Now that is the kind of post that first timers should be directed to....much like the "Swimming pool" post.

            Cat, trully excellent, well done and thank you!
            'Tis with our judgements as our watches, none go just alike, yet each believes his own - Alexander Pope

            Comment

              #7
              Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

              Wow, Cat - Fabulous post. I was where you are... some time ago. Then fell back into old habits. I only say that because - it can happen when you least expect it.

              My first 30 days was easy-peasy. (Not sure why! Perhaps because I was grieving.)

              Didn't even think about it! (WHAAaaa?)

              But slowly, surely, I sunk back into the "habit". I think so much of it is just that. Just what I do!? (eeeek)

              I don't think I've ever had withdrawals... but I certainly have had Cravings.

              Y'know - the ones where you're just a robot going to liquor store?

              I think I'm getting "there". I think I'm getting to a place where it really is just SO FREAKIN' STUPID.

              "Knowledge is power"? Yes, and ....no. NO when you're dealing with this. I KNOW all about it, etc. Does it matter? Not much. What matters is my Attitude about it.

              While I don't have the food problem, I know that some may say: "Well, I think I'll just eat - and eat!" Similar problem.

              Sounds like you're on a good path.
              Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

              Comment

                #8
                Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                Thank you all so much for reading my thoughts. You are all so nice!

                Savon... you know, I've been having those little "one little rum and coke after work would feel great" thoughts these days .. (the 30-day Itch?) ... You're so right about "attitude" ... Gotta keep that firmly planted in my head and not let it slip .. because it's so easy to slip. Congrats on your hard work, btw. Very well done .. and if you did it once, you can do it again.
                AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                  Cat, first, kind Thanks for reaching out to help, and still remembering how bad it can be.

                  When I was younger, less entrenched, and was able to string together a few months at a time ... well ... not sure I had the same patience as you! 'Course I was young, not as far down this progression, and didn't quite understand how hard it gets as we continue and age.

                  It's only recently that I've realized you've been on MWO awhile -- under the current monicker! I like your posts so much I sought as many as I could. (See now you joined around the time I got my DUI)

                  Agree this board can be an absolute life saver for thinking, feeling, open-minded -- yet-impaired -- people. I haven't felt this much hope in ages.

                  Again 42Cat, kudos, thanks for reaching out to us who ae not there yet, and best success in your journey along with us. Tame that "mind chatter"!! (We're here for you, too.)
                  Woman takes a drink, drink takes a drink, drink takes a woman.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                    Cat,

                    I was following this thread on my cellphone this evening. I just HAD to go and grab my notebook and post a reponse.

                    You are an amazing person - I just never realised what it took for you to reach this positive point in your life. It gives me even greater respect for how you managed yourself out of the hole you were in.

                    I am so proud of you, and also thankful for what you have meant to me in the short time that I've known you.

                    Don't let the doubts and uncertainties get to you! You are a strong woman!

                    (((((Cat)))))

                    Tip
                    I'll do whatever it takes
                    AF 21/08/2009

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                      Grim;653313 wrote: Now that is the kind of post that first timers should be directed to....much like the "Swimming pool" post.
                      I agree Grim. Cat, that was beautifully written and will give a lot of hope to many who read it and feel the same way.

                      Thanks for sharing your way out.

                      :l
                      Eve11
                      "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                      ~Jack Welsh~:h

                      God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                        What a lovely, honest and inspiring post - I hope it will help all the people who haven't reached 'there' yet along the way.

                        I have also notived that you seem to be one of the people who often replies to other peoples' posts when they are asking for help and your comments are always useful and supportive and I want to thank you for that.

                        In a nutshell, 42cat I think you are brilliant and have no doubt that as long as you keep trying you will achieve your goals in the end. Many hugs, Kim
                        Recovery Coaching website

                        "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

                        Recovery Videos

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                          Great post. A true inspiration for all of us. Just tell that little voice to go away and never come back. I'm 63 days in and haven't had the voice in a couple of weeks, thank goodness.
                          I know he's still hiding somewhere, so I need to keep my guard up. 42CAT will do well, I can feel it!

                          Winefree

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                            *sniffle* .. you are all so ..... sweet. I can't thank you enough for your support.

                            Yep, the ol' cat has been around for quite some time..... But I do hope my years of inactivity do not discourage anyone from posting, or from jumping naked into the happy pot of sobriety! ... (Alllright, you can jump in clothed ... but please remove belts and suspenders ... oh, and socks ... nothing worse than socks in a pot .... *pew*)

                            Sober weekend vibes to you all!
                            AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Way back when, I couldn't relate to many posts ....

                              Ahhh...Cat, thanks SO much for the post. Makes me feel like there is hope. I am praying my "turn" will come. What will it take? I am certainly not happy down here, but for some insane reason, cannot get my conviction to lead a life I know in my heart will be better. Now that's a good definition of insanity! But, thanks again for the great post and it encourages me not to give up. Best of everything to you!

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X