When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

[Wally22]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Um LilBit, sounds like you have a problem! Send him home to Mom until he grows up a little.

[IAD]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Time is.....it all depends on why you started drinking Ha! If it was cause of your mate....theirs some unresolved issues that need to be taken care of .....Ha! IAD.

[DoneDrinkin]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

$3k in parking tickets? That must be some kind of record for a 35 year old.

Homicide's too good for him. Kick him out!

Stay strong!
--Steve

[Boss.man]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Gail Sheehey in "Passages" noted that Men and Women are most different about age 45. It is a natural time of different motivations, communication lapses, and apparent disinterest. This is without dealing with daily issues like addictions, distracting kids as teens or in trouble, the amazingly bad economy and work fears/job loss. None of this has anything to do with alcohol.

[The New Me]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

jessie;656140 wrote: You have really opened my eyes to another side of this struggle. I sometimes feel so alone and would give anything for a stable relationship. I thought being alone is part of why I drown myself in alcohol. Now I realize that being in a relationship brings it's own problems. My thoughts are with all of you in problematic relationships.

Jessie,

I am in the same boat. I used to think, if I have someone to do things with, I would not drink. I am sure it is true to some extend, but some people drink more becasue they are in relationship. I am begining to see that I use the longing for a relationship as an excuse to drink...

[DancingGirl]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Hi All,

I'm new here. I've really had a drinking problem for thirty years and I've realized reading the threads here that I've been trying (sometimes successfully) to moderate for as long. Now it's time to get a handle on it.

My husband of 18 years drinks too, and more than I do. I'm concerned that as I sober up, he will withdraw in anger, seeing my actions as a criticism of his drinking. My great hope is that if I can be serious about sobriety, maybe he will come around too. We do have a very good relationship...

[louise]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Welcome DancingGirl! It is hard to see how just not drinking is a criticism of him - hope he doesn't take it so. You may want to look up and show him info on how much more alcohol effects women and how much easier it is for them to get addicted to explain what you are doing if he takes it that way.
Time, for the sake of the kids, I recommend the book "Divorce Busting" by Michele Weiner-Davis. Studies show that people who are unhappy but who stay together are often happier 5 years later than those who divorce. (Not applicable to abuse or situations like LilBits - stop paying for his gym and going out and tell him he needs to start paying for his own food. Give him a deadline to pay rent or he is out of there.)

[DancingGirl]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Thanks for the welcome, Louise. I think my darling husband just feels guilt about his own drinking and isn't quite ready to face it. But I know you are absolutely right about the different effects on men and women. That's been on my mind as I've been moving towards this first baby step....

[gyco]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

hi time the many times ive stopped the same thing happens to me, my wife said a few times maybe you dont like me,seeeing now tht i was sober, only im a much nicer person,i hope u find yourselff it takes time ,ive been dointhis for 10 years .like a lite bulb off and on have a good daygyco

[gyco]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

p s your not in a group alone

[LilBit]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Dancing Girl, I think Louise's comment about the differences between the effects of AL on men and women is very interesting. Even if that were not the case, everyone's timing and motivation to quit or mod is different, so it makes for a bumpy ride when you've faced it and he hasn't. I am sending you good thoughts and wishes as you sort this out.

Again, my apologies for the momentary thread hijack. I started to make a simple comment and all the recent relationship frustration just came spewing out! Seems like AL does allow us to keep a lid on things -- maybe things that should not be contained - and then we have to figure out which is "the baby" and which is "the bath water" so we don't throw the good out with the bad.

You're doing great!

[DancingGirl]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Thanks both Geico and LilBit. This feel so supportive.

The "baby and the bathwater" is a good metaphor - my baby and me gotta stop guzzling that bath water!!

:H

But I'm getting addicted to posting here and am really supposed to be writing something for my work... Unplugging the modem, so bye for now.

[Blue Sky]

When you stop drinking does your relationship get worse?

Hi Lilbit

Amazing what you 'notice' once you stop drinking isn't it! Don't let his inconsiderate behaviour drive you back to the bottle. Remember that other people can only treat you badly if you let them. Sounds like he's taking you for granted.